Packers Get Fucked In DC

57
Alex Smith

Aaron Rodgers was on. Aaron Jones was on. The Green Bay Packers were not on.

It was almost predictable. That the Packers would drop a game on the road to an inferior Washington team.

How did that happen?

Washington was three-for-five in the red zone. The Packers were one-for-two. That’s a better percentage than last week, but they couldn’t really get there, could they?

Let’s talk about dropped passes. Randall Cobb was targeted 11 times. He caught four fucking balls. We could say that any of his drops were big, but the one on fourth down late in the game was huge. Randall Cobb sucked a sack of ass on Sunday.

And, hey, let’s let our old foe Adrian Peterson trounce all over us again! Good job, guys! You haven’t seen the child beater enough to be able to stop him? Really, just tremendous.

That shitdick ran for 120 yards. Averaged 6.3 per carry.

This is the bottom line.

The Packers’ defense isn’t any better than they’ve ever been. Jaire Alexander may be an alpha, but if you’re giving up 31 to an Alex Smith quarterbacked team, you’re shit.

Clay Matthews can’t touch a quarterback without getting flagged. How about that shit? Wonder what bullshit the league will serve up this week about this textbook tackle.

And if the fucktards that are supposed to be catching passes from Aaron Rodgers can’t do that, then this is what you get.

Shit.

Losing a shit game to a shit team.

About The Author

Mordecai is a writer living in Los Angeles. He primarily writes screenplays, but also does crap like this because GREEN BAY PACKERS, baby!

57 Comments on "Packers Get Fucked In DC"

  1. Kato

    The call on Matthews at least made more sense given the current league rules today. I still think that rule is ridiculous. At least the refs didnt really play a large role in today’s game. No, today the packers sucked enough to lose the game on their own. Randall Cobb, that game isnt getting you paid. Kentrell Brice is probably one of the worst safeties in the league. Jason Spriggs, holy shit, what a hot mess. Offensive tackle has to be a priority with one of the first round picks. The defense, for whatever the reason seems to lack the “it” factor. They have good individual players but they just cant seem to all play together consistently.

    • PF4L

      Lol…..one of the announcers said that Spriggs comfort zone was on the left side because he played on the left side in College. All i could do was laugh, and laugh, and laugh a little more. I got news for this highly paid announcer. This is the NFL…Jason Spriggs doesn’t have a comfort zone in this league.

      • Kato

        Nope. I dont necessarily expect announcers to be well educated on all 1500 players in the league, but Spriggs never looked “comfortable” at LT either

        • PF4L

          I don’t expect him to know every player either, but i’m a proponent on talking about things you know something about. It was good for a laugh anyway.

    • Mitch Anthony

      No kidding, you need to watch the South Park episode called Sarcastaball. This shit will all make total sense after that. The episode aired in 2012 and it seems to be rather prescient for what we are seeing today.

  2. PF4L

    Jeez…you skipped a bunch, Kendricks drop, Adams drops. To be fair, some of those passes were behind, but most were catchable, some being perfect, then dropped.

    Watching the O – line it seems like giving up 4 sacks a game, and 5 off. line penalty’s per game is turning into normal this season Why didn’t anyone bring up O line problems in the off-season? Yea, i get it, i didn’t see it coming either.

    Now, about Mathews….here we fucking go again, wtf are they doing? I honestly thought that after last week, even though the NFL tried to save face, i figured they would self correct themselves. lighten up and just call egregious hits. Not the case…..If your going to adjust a legal tackle, why not make it for everyone, not just the QB? It’s simple…they can’t….they can’t and they won’t… because they can’t call a flag every time someone makes a tackle and lands on the player with weight. It’s against the laws of physics to expect a player to tackle another player at full speed, and not bear any weight on that player being tackled. IT’S TOTAL BULLSHIT.

    IN OTHER NEWS: Anyone remember Jordy Nelson? He was a wide receiver for us last year that lost a step when Rodgers got hurt.
    Today he had 6 catches for 173 yards and a TD. He’s no Randall Cobb, but he ain’t bad for a guy who’s washed up.

    SIDE NOTE: Funny thing….when off season optimism and promise get in a stare down with reality.

  3. Cheese

    Here are my notes from the game-

    OH MY GOD, I’m Fucking Done. Fucking Done. Roughing the passer?!?! Go Fuck yourselves NFL. There’s so many flags, commercials, and downtime combined with garbage ass play from GB that I don’t think I’m ever going to watch another game in real time again. Such a waste of time. I literally stopped watching, went and did some stuff, and then came back to fast forward through all the bullshit. Now I’m only going to record games so I can fast forward through them to see if Rodgers pulls any miracles out of his ass as usual, which is the only way the Packers win games anymore. This is unbearable.

    They barely scrape by the Bears by the skin of their teeth, tie with Minnesota, and now lose to the Redskins. After three games the Packers have the same record as the Cleveland Browns. They can’t even score 20pts a game with Aaron Rodgers. SMFH…

    Why do we keep running pass plays that take 5+ seconds to develop when we have a QB with a gimp leg?

    Adrian Peterson once again making the Packers defense look like… the Packers defense. Hey AP, you want your best first half since 2013? No problem, coming right up.

    Aaron Jones ripping off runs left and right but yet lets rarely use him, and when we do lets run the same play two times in a row and get stuffed the second time around.

    Jason Spriggs sucks. The last play of the game for the Packers the whole defense had a free pass straight to Rodgers. Forget giving 12 some time off to let that leg heal. Let’s run him into the dirt because there’s no way in hell they’d win otherwise. Good luck riding those coattails to the age of 40.

    Fuck Randall Cobb. How about you catch a fucking ball you overpaid bum. Oh look, now you have a fumble. I don’t know who’s dick you’re sucking in the front office but it at least it gets you job security. Maybe that’s why Jordy was the odd man out, he didn’t want to take a shot in the mouth. Nice catch by Lance Kendricks too, not. Smack, right in the hands.. NOPE. I bet Tonyan catches that pass. How about that highest paid TE in the league? Some difference maker he’s been.

    This team is running on zero cylinders and has been sputtering along for quite some time.

  4. Danforth Cuntingdon-Smythe

    Living in Asia for the next two years seems to be a blessing. I didn’t watch the game, thankfully, but just gathering that the defense and o-line which Ted ‘built’ are still dog shit, and Mike McCarthy has a job solely thanks to Aaron Rodgers. And Clay Matthews being on the same field as a quarterback means a 15 yard penalty. Fuck Mike McCarthy, fuck Ted Thompson, and fuck Roger Goodell

  5. I’m not going to add to the dropped passes, poor tackling, bad O-line play, other teams receivers and ball carriers running wide open, penalties, etc.

    I want to complain about how this Packer team is so often unprepared to come to play a game on offense or defense. This team is schooled during the first half of most games. Almost every team knows how to attack the Packers and the Packers very seldom are prepared to attack the opponent. Coaching and game planning is a problem. To many mistakes and concentration issues.

    In most cases I have supported MM calling time outs, when on defense, at the end of a half to try to get Rodgers another chance. Many times that has not worked. In this game if the other team has a first and goal and you have 2 TOs left, and 2 minutes on the clock, why not call the TOs and try to give your QB the ball back with close to 1:30 in the half. You are already going to give up at least 3.

    Bad move by MM not calling TOs at the end of the half. May not have made a difference but give QB#1 the ball with approx. 1:30 left and no TOs. Rodgers has done a lot with less time before.

    Yes I heard those announcers say MM was wanting to get to the locker room. Bullshit you leave some time to get the ball in Rodgers hands at the end of the half with more than 30 seconds. Bad time management MM.

    • Ferris

      I think we were typing the same shit about McCarthy at the same time. He’s the worst coach in the NFL.

      • Skinny

        Hes not the worst coach in the NFL he just doesn’t realize he has fucking Aaron Rodgers, Jimmy Graham and Davante Adams as actual players on his offense.

        • Ferris

          What would his record be without Rodgers? OK take all rookie coaches out. I’m trying to think of another coach i would not take over him…..maybe Marvin Lewis and Hue Jackson….I would take Nagy in a second and Zimmer. Still thinking…..Nope can’t think of anyone else besides both Ohio coaches.

        • Empacador

          Kato, with all due respect what, exactly, does McCarthy excel at? And no bullshit about how he helped develop Rodgers.

  6. Ferris

    Five points on The Green Bay Packers.
    1. McCarthy is horrible…like you didn’t know. Game Plan a little asshole.
    2. McCarthy is horrible…throw to Graham 10 times a game, no linebacker can cover him. While you’re at it cut Kendricks.
    3. McCarthy is horrible…Aaron Jones is a SUPERSTAR on ANY other team. Everyone sees it except you ass-hat.
    4. McCarthy is horrible…Get Kentrell Brice and Jason Spriggs OFF THE TEAM, cut them now. Monkey fucking a football.
    5. McCarthy is horrible…This team is going nowhere, if they played KC they would give up 60. Glad Rodgers got one title and gave us fans some fond memories but as long as McCarthy is coaching this is what you get.

    • Skinny

      Ive been saying it since the NFC title game meltdown in Seattle. McCarthy is done in GB. No one would ever give a shit what he says anymore after that game.

  7. Big B

    Why was Payne’s body thumping sack on ARod, prior to Mathews’ flag, not called? Same, same.
    Penalties are making games insufferable- just call stuff that actually impacts the play. Not sure? Keep the flag in your pocket.
    Brice is horrific, not only inept at coverage, but guilty of friendly fire on Wilkerson.
    4th and 5, down 11, near midfield with 7 minutes left……punt? You’re killing’ me Smalls, errr, McCarthy. Packers did get the ball back, and of course did nothing with it, still, poor decision down 2 scores. 1, OK, but not 2.
    Trade MM for whatever we can get at yearend and go in a new direction. I would go with a defensive HC as Rodgers can do his thing but defense has been woeful for 7 years.

    • R.Duke

      Friendly fire? the Chickenshit whiffs on the tackle and breaks Wilkerson’s ankle.. Move these scrubs off this team—just bullshit and the atttitude comes from the top.
      Do not buy the cheap chinese merchandise and fuck packertown LLC.

  8. I told everyone they should have kept dependable Jordy. Oh well. Receivers can’t do their jobs, fold defense same as Capers. Yeam not ready to play MM. It’s MM job to inspire them. Last year for MM. Mark it.

  9. Skinng

    If we dont make the trade for Earl Thomas AND or bring in Eric Reid im gonna be fucking pissed. Im so sick of the back end of this defense fucking pointing around, being out of position and not knowing where to go right up until the ball is snapped. WR group is so full of shit. Packers shelling out a shit pile of money to that group and they cant do the basics of the position. Remember I wanted Cobb gone. This is why. Guy fucking took the game off. And hes fucking slow now too. Shit id rather Dez in here than this shit every game. McCarthys grave was dug after the NFC title game in Seattle. No one gives a shit what McCarthy says.

  10. TyKo Steamboat

    Randall Cobb is a Smurf. A tiny little scat wr that drops balls & fumbles. Smurf
    DropVante Adams is also overpaid

    What happened to that fat fart, Bulaga? Injured? WTF? good riddance.
    Why did Bell replace McCray late in the game? Yank or injury?

    Fucken sucks about Mo Wilkerson too. Looks like a nasty ankle injury. Hopefully he returns in 9 weeks but I doubt it.

    Fuck me, Diana Russini

  11. Skinny

    Seriously if your Gute and you give a shit about getting to the SB and my personal well being, how the hell are you not on the phone tonight willing to do what ever it will take to get Earl Thomas, Eric Reid and Dez White in here immediately?

    • TyKo Steamboat

      You ca add Le’Veon Bell’s name to that list too

      Heck, is Jahri Evans still in shape? Naturally, we need OL depth & McCray & Bulaga both left the game
      I’d be on the phone with Jahri Evans’ people

      • Skinny

        I mean Dez Bryant not White. Hell bring in Dez White too. But Im fine with RB. But I would go hard as hell after Earl. We need an enforcer. Somebody on the D that opposing teams have to fear man. Im sick of getting gashed every god damn game.

  12. Larry

    Pettine is Capers 2.0. How long before this clown gets canned? Why is it so hard for GB to find a fucking D coordinator who knows what the fuck he is doing? Mathews on Vernon Davis? Yeah, that’s a great scheme Mike. I watch tons of football and I see all these great blitz packages and GB has NONE! The safety tandem is the worst in football, nice job Gute you fucking moron!

    • Skinny

      True. Earl Thomas stops this TEs running free horse shit we see constantly. We had the opportunity two years ago to draft Myles Jack to help with that too. We said nah we will get our cover LB in the 4th round. Slow white guy, yeah hes great at tackling from behind. Think about that. We’ve pissed on drafting TJ Watt, Myles Jack, and Derwin James, and told our best pass rusher Julius Peppers to take a hike. Are you shitting me!! Packers scouts dont know shit!

  13. Kato

    I am sorry to offend any of you snowflakes, but at this point Eric Reid needs to be brought in. Brice cant get it done.

  14. Empacador

    Pretty much everyone has hit the highlights above. Aside from Brice being a complete liability, and Clinton-Dix not far behind, it has been mentioned here several times the Packers can’t fix all the holes left by Ted in one off season and one draft. I don’t see the defense as bad as it was. I’m pretty sure the defense had some stops today. Unfortunately there have been some questionable calls against the Packers in recent weeks, but that is no excuse. What is the Packer offense doing with their opportunities? If the Packer offense, led by McCarthy, was doing their job, the Packers should be able to overcome questionable calls.

    Defense gets a turn over, what does the offense do? They still look like they are allergic to the red zone. Running game and Jones are killing it, so lets pass 3 times for zero completions. After holding their 3 time outs for most of the first half, I told my brother before the 3rd quarter was half over, they would HAVE to burn a time out due to the play clock. And of course, what, some 8 minutes and change left in the 3rd quarter, that’s what happened. Zero sense of urgency and no contingency plan for when their headsets don’t work? Color me shocked. The 15 scripted plays of run, run, pass, yeah who totally didn’t see that coming.

    Let’s resign ourselves to the fact this team is a reflection of the head coach and no amount of changes without including McCarthy is going to fix this. No petitions, no blaming the refs for shitty calls. 13 years of conducting business the same way, and only making changes when he needs a scapegoat to save his own ass is about long enough. There isn’t a reason to be upset. It is simply unfortunate the Packers and Rodgers are resigned to life under McCarthy. He who has proven the “unstoppable force meeting an immovable object” paradox isn’t flawed in Green Bay, it means the immovable object triumphs.

    • Dan

      Realistically, they could bring in the best players at every spot and the coaching would fuck it all up anyway.. But it would be nice for Rodgers to someone the catch the ball once in a while….

    • Skinny

      Hes on this roster because Biegel sucked and there was literally nothing else behind the both of them other than a brown lunch bag full of shit.

  15. Can we just rid ourselves of Davon House once and forever? Meanwhile, Aaron is doing more on one leg than the rest of the team does on two. Can Big Mike just start Aaron Jones and feed him the effing ball? The short passing game works. Stop the 5 second dropbacks.

    • Skinny

      Lets put Montgomery in the game late just for shits and giggles. Gotta get him his touches to level out my stat sheet. Aaron Jones would rush for 100 yards a game if you gave him the ball 20-25 times a game Mike!

  16. One more thing to put on the “may need to watch out for list”. Several of the snaps from the new long snapper were off target today, starting with the first punt. You can say it was the weather, but in less you are in a dome the weather is only going to get worse as the season goes on.

  17. Disposableh3ro

    Seadderal needs a receiver and we need a safety, send Cobb out for Thomas…or bring in Reid. Brice is straight garbage.

  18. Jschizl

    Only the third game doesn’t matter. Would help if the offense could practice all week together. I hope we use one or two top picks and hit on the o line. Since clay can’t sack the quarterback anymore maybe he should work on his coverage skills.

    • R.Duke

      He has to modify his technique and go for the strips. If he cannot FORM Tackle by leaguerules then grab the QBs and rag-doll their arms like Reggie did. Get the turnovers.

    • Skinny

      True. Rodgers misfiring throws early today was a direct result of him not practicing this week no doubt.

  19. V

    There’s nothing about this Redskins team that tells me that they are inferior. The Packers roster is always inferior in most games. They have very few elite players and now even they’re above average players are playing like dogshit.

  20. Deepsky

    My post from 7/31/18 regarding the over/under on injuries:

    “Here’s my over/under for games played this season for some players before they miss a game due to injury.

    Bulaga: 2”

    Looks like I called that one pretty accurately.

  21. Adam

    I don’t want to talk about the defense, we already know where they currently stand and what needs to be better. My personal gripe is that they cannot put a full game together. They played half a game in week one, three quarters in week two, and two quarters yesterday. They only allowed one single first down the entire second half yesterday, unfortunately that was after shitting the bed int he first half.

    The Defense, to me, has shown the ability to play well in short spans. But they still haven’t demonstrated they can put it together for a full game. Key pieces are missing and/or under-performing… both Safety spots are obvious (Holy Shit Kentrell Brice), and so is the lack of D-Line pressure (pressure, hurries, containment, sacks… anyone?). I have no idea yet how big Wilkerson’s absence will be, because I have no idea if his presence actually made an impact through the first three games.

    But I’m getting off topic. No, I don’t want to talk about the defense. Instead, I want to talk about the offense because it fucking sucks, and not just yesterday. I compiled some statistics of each year’s offense going back to 2009… effectively the ‘Aaron Rodgers Era’. I discarded 2008 because it was hist first year as a starter.

    – This team is currently averaging 28.06 yards per drive. That’s the lowest offensive average of any Packer team in that time span, even lower than the 2015 and 2017 seasons where Aaron was out for most of both seasons.

    – They are currently averaging 1.75 points per drive. That is only .03 hundredths better than the Brett Hundley led team of last year, and WELL below their statistical average of 2.58 points. Here is every year’s average with their league ranking.
    2009: 2.33 (6th)
    2010: 2.90 (1st)
    2011: 3.05 (1st)
    2012: 2.26 (8th)
    2013: 2.20 (7th)
    2014: 2.73 (1st)
    2015: 1.93 (15th) Aaron’s first Collarbone
    2016: 2.60 (3rd)
    2017: 1.72 (21st) Aaron’s second Collarbone
    Today: 1.75(Shit)

    – They’re currently scoring points on 36.1% of their drives, which, excluding 2015 and 2017 collarbone seasons, is the lowest total of any Packer team going back to 2009.

    – And perhaps the most troubling trend I see, they currently have TEN three-and-out drives over the first three games. They’re on pace for 50 (FIFTY!) dead drives this season. Ironically, the Super Bowl team of 2010 had 51 dead drives, but that team was also 10-6 in the regular season and barely made the playoffs. They didn’t play particularly well all year until the got hot at the end.
    If you exclude that season, they average just over 39 three-and-outs per season. Even last years squad led by Hundley and his inability to throw touchdowns at home all year only had 44 dead drives.

    There may be reasons the offense sucks right now. Some obvious – Aaron is running around on one leg, hasn’t practiced in two weeks, doesn’t have an O-Line worth a damn. But others are more deeply rooted, like McCarthy’s still-stale-ass play calling. How many fucking one-yard WR screens do we have to endure every week? Donald Driver and Greg Jennings are no longer on the team, Mike. Or how many halfback sweeps into the right and left tackles do you want to run consecutively, Mike? Did Philbin really have input in refreshing this playbook at all, Mike? (That’s a rhetorical question by the way, we already know the answer to that).

    When was the last time you can recall the offense actually running smoothly and being in-sync more times than it wasn’t? I have to go back to the 2014 season, at least, personally. That’s why the only time the offense works is when Aaron is extending plays and escaping the pocket… because the playbook sucks, Mike. He has to play schoolyard ball because it’s more fucking effective. It’s as stale as those saltine crackers in the back of the pantry everyone fucking has and forgot about years ago. You know the ones, you bought them because you had the flu 4 years ago and they were the only thing you could keep down, but that’s where they’ve been ever since. Long forgotten. That’s your fucking playbook, Mike, and the Packers have the flu.

    • Rebelgb

      Great post. Thank your for the statistics and the effort.

      MM is the problem with all of those issues. And it wont change while he is coach. He is too stubborn and arrogant to ever consider switching up his philosophy.

    • Savage57

      I coulda swore AR broke his collarbone against the Bears in 2013.

      Makes you wonder how much of the rest of this is just more Total Piss and Moan the sky is falling bullshit?

      • Adam

        Shit, you’re right – for some reason I didn’t think it was that far back.
        2015 was the year Jordy tore his ACL in preseason.

        I had the wrong season noted for his collarbone – but the statistics are still accurate. Compiled from Pro-Football Reference.

  22. Nick

    The same thing year after year. That’s what we get with McCarthy Always unprepared undisciplined doesn’t know how to manage a clock to save his life. Between the rules,refs and the head coach of my favorite team I believe this will be my last year watching football Uggghh

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