Aaron Rodgers: Rules Going The Wrong Way

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Aaron Rodgers vs. Vikings

Everyone wants to bitch. Well, everyone wants to bitch about Clay Matthews’ roughing the passer call against the Vikings. Vikings fans, regardless if they were gifted a non-loss, want to turn around and point the finger at the same call on Lance Kendricks earlier in the game.

That obviously didn’t cost them a win, but they’re a bunch of fucking dickholes. And you can’t reason with a dickhole. That’s because dickholes only spout urine and transmit venereal disease.

Nonetheless! Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers has an opinion on the league’s new, overbearing emphasis on protecting the quarterback.

And he would like to be protected less.

“Some of the rules I think, some of the rules are going in the wrong direction… It’s still a collision sport,” Rodgers said. “Those to me were not penalties, on Clay and on Kendricks.”

How’s that, dumbass NFL?

And yes, you know what? We all bitch about the Clay penalty, but the Kendricks penalty probably should have been a non-penalty as well.

Remember when football used to be a big boy’s game?

The league is so up its own ass about player safety these days they are taking the game we love and bastardizing it. No offense to any of our female readers, but hell, you’ll be able to play quarterback in the NFL in 10 years. Well, so long as you’re over six feet and have a cannon arm. But shit, no one will be able to touch you by that time. Just stand in the pocket with that red jersey on, pick the defense apart.

While they’re trying to eliminate kickoffs, why don’t they just eliminate the whole defensive line? Shit, let’s eliminate the outside linebacker position as well! NO MORE RUSHING THE PASSER!

We’ll just roll with nine defensive backs and two linebackers (only inside, can’t play anywhere else) in case, you know, someone wants to run the football.

Who the hell are the offensive linemen going to block? I DON’T KNOW! WHO CARES?!

Maybe just sub them all out and go with the nine receiver set! I bet your lady quarterback can hit one of them!

About The Author

Mordecai is a writer living in Los Angeles. He primarily writes screenplays, but also does crap like this because GREEN BAY PACKERS, baby!

13 Comments on "Aaron Rodgers: Rules Going The Wrong Way"

  1. Kato

    While I agree with the overall message, a few things stand out to me. One, Aaron Rodgers is a fucking hypocrite. He is the one that threw a hissy fit and got pissed off when Barr hurt him last year. Maybe it was a heat of the moment thing, idk. Two, wasnt this author one of the people saying Barr’s hit was dirty? And does he even proofread his shit? Lance Kendricks?

    • KILLER

      Kudos to Kato.

      Every point correct. You also took care of the whole Eric Kendricks of the Vikings not Lance Kendricks of the Packers thing.

    • PF4L

      I previously covered this already Kato. Just because they write articles about a game, doesn’t mean they watched it.

  2. PF4L

    Lets not gloss over this dickhole thing. I really don’t know if you can reason with a dickhole, i have no clue. But i’m curious just the same, can we get to the bottom of this for an answer.

    Killer?

    • KILLER

      Sure thing, Piffle!

      To clarify:

      While Mordecai is correct that Packer “dickholes only spout urine and transmit venereal disease” this does not hold true with Vikings dickholes as ours spout urine AND semen and do not transmit venereal disease.

      Mordecai was obviously speaking from his own experiences with his own dickhole.

      • PF4L

        I just don’t understand you Lonely Boy…

        One day you hate Mordi, the next day you love him, then you hate him again, then the next day he’s your best friend, now you despise him again. Just what is your deal man?

        You will NOT find a friend if this is how you are going to act with your emotions so bat shit crazy and volatile.

        Much like a football team with Eagle wings on their helmets in a NFCCG, you scare the shit out of the other team facing them.

        Please…try to do better.

        Thank you for understanding.

        • PF4L

          Speaking of piss poor performances in a NFCCG. Anyone remember when Cutler said he couldn’t go because he had an MCL sprain. Well, guess what Rodgers has, but Rodgers came back in for a regular season game and boom, boom, boom, 3 tds…and game over.

          Damn, i miss Cutty.

  3. KILLER

    Mordecai has been writing like he’s on a 4-day bender of depth charges interspersed with psychedelics.

    Sober up buddy!

    • Mitch Anthony

      One of the biggest proponents of letting NFL players smoke weed. Can barely write a cogent article while toked. Hey, it’s called “proof” reading, not “puff” reading.

      Go figure.

  4. KILLER

    I want to provide some clarity to this whole Clay Mathews hit on Kirk Cousins thing. I know if you follow along and fairly consider each point on its own and separate from rivalry and without hypocrisy you will be convinced it was the correct call. I know it. If you are not convinced then it simply means you did not give fair unbiased consideration. You just weren’t able to pull it off.

    OK, here goes. It is basically a 2 point argument although many more could be made.

    The simple part is this: Eric Kendricks of the Vikings was called for the exact same penalty in the exact same game. However, his offense was less clear cut than Matthews’. This shows fairness and lack of bias by the refs. They are enforcing this rule the same way for both teams. Above Mordecai asserts neither should be a penalty. That’s fine Mordecai, just go tell the NFL to change the rules. Do not be mad at the refs for doing their job and enforcing the rule. Do not claim preferential treatment. The ref drew that flag before the deep pass ball came down for the interception. He clearly called it due to what he watched right in front of him in the QB pocket and not at the other end of that pass. If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at Clay. He chose that time to break the rules. Take that up with Clay-mation.

    Next thing is this whole MM saying Clay did what they taught him and Clay all mystified how it could be a penalty. MM needs to stop teaching his defenders to cheat. That would solve this, wouldn’t it? Matthews committed two penalties on the play and the ref could only call one, the more egregious or did not see the second. He did the scoop and pull which the ref called. He also undeniably brought all his weight down on Kirk shoulder first. He twisted his body even to make that happen.

    Let’s just look at that second penalty. Now the Packers and Rodgers have complained nearly endlessly about Anthony Barr’s hit on Rodgers last year. First, it was illegal to them. After the NFL and refs and experts all made it be known that was just pure good football the complaint morphed into how Barr purposely brought his weight down on Rodgers (by the way, at that point Rodgers shoulder blade was already broken anyway because he failed to follow his coaching on how to take a tackle). It was legal but the Packers thought it was still wrong.

    Voila, NFL makes the “Aaron Rodgers Rule”. So, they went around to EVERY training camp and educated the coaches and players. They specifically showed the Barr hit of Rodgers and specifically stated that hit was legal last year but was now illegal this year.

    OK, look at it:

    http://www.nfl.com/videos/nfl-network-total-access/0ap3000000937815/Barr-reflects-on-Rodgers-hit-He-had-something-to-say-afterward

    Here is a better view with slow motion. Legal at the time, you can see Barr did tilt his weight up in his own body to bring his weight more fully onto Rodgers. Very legal, very proper, nothing wrong with that. In 2017. Every team and every player including the Packers and Matthews were shown that hit again in training camp and told it would now, in 2018, be illegal.

    Now look at the Clay Matthews hit on Kirk Cousins:

    http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap3000000963544/article/nfl-to-use-clay-matthews-penalty-in-teaching-video

    As you can see, even outside the scoop and pull, he focuses his weight high and brings it down through his shoulder into Kirk’s chest as he plants him in the ground with his full weight. Remember that Clay was provided with the Barr hit as an example of what is now illegal. Now look at each hit. Matthews’ is much worse, much more graphic. In fact, it would be difficult to imagine more weight being brought in a more vicious way other than if the defender himself weighed more. Or aimed the shoulder into the crotch area maybe.

    Packers were VERY fortunate to escape with a tie in this game. The Vikings were clearly the better team. Be grateful for the lucky tie. You love to complain, I know, but sometimes you need to let it go when it makes you look so foolish.

    It really is just so ironic the Aaron Rodgers rule coming back to bite you so soon.

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