Mike Zimmer Won’t Say the Word Packers

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Mike Zimmer

I’ll say the word Vikings.

Check this out.

The Minnesota Vikings are a bunch of scumbags.

The Minnesota Vikings have the worst fans in the history of sport.

Minnesota Vikings fans couldn’t tell their ass from a hole in the ground if you put up a sign next to the hole that said “hole” and pointed to it.

The Minnesota Vikings can suck on a bag of dicks. A really big one.

Why do the Minnesota Vikings wear purple? Well, because they always choke, of course!

Who is the Minnesota Vikings greatest player? Brett Favre, a Green Bay Packer.

But hey, let’s give the Minnesota Vikings credit. They’re in the NFC Championship game. The only question now is will they choke this week or will they choke in the Super Bowl. Hell, I’ll bet it’s this week!

Do you know who my favorite Viking is?

Gary Anderson. A marvelous human being. That man picked the best time to miss his only field goal of the year. Gary Anderson, you are in my Hall of Fame.

Second place goes to Favre for being, well, Favre. I always told those assholes. Favre will be Favre at some point. They were riding high, didn’t believe me and then I stood up and laughed the hardest and loudest I had ever laughed when Favre was Favre.

This isn’t Detroit? No it isn’t, but you got exactly what you signed up for, suckbags.

So yeah, the Vikings and, more importantly, their fans can suck it.

Back to the point, however. I’m just saying Vikings over and over because Vikings’ coach Mike Zimmer will not mention the Green Bay Packers.

Here you go.

It’s appropriate that Zimmer won’t say Packers, since the Vikings will never be on the level of the Packers.

About The Author

Mordecai is a writer living in Los Angeles. He primarily writes screenplays, but also does crap like this because GREEN BAY PACKERS, baby!

17 Comments on "Mike Zimmer Won’t Say the Word Packers"

  1. KILLER

    Never on the same level as the Packers? hmmm Well, you have a point! 13-3 is, what, several levels ABOVE the Packers at 7-9 right? 1st in the division vs. 3rd is at least 2 levels ABOVE.

    Free country, Zim does not need to say Packers if he does not want to. And, why would he want to? He is too good of a sportsman to run around pointing out the Vikings swept them this year. He is too classy to expound on the power-grubbing President, the scapegoating egotistical HC, the assistant coaches scattering like scared pigeons in the park, the beard-employing, lying, whining, aging endorsement-focused QB.

    It is kind of like “ant”. I don’t go around saying “ant” whenever I see one or accidentally step on one. I usually don’t notice them so I don’t say the word. It just is not worth my time. Same thing Zim and “Packers”.

    I just wish I could be as classy as Zim.

  2. Bradley Johnson

    Man I wish I could root for a team who finished 7-9, fires everyone but their head coach, gave $14M to an above average WR and who’s fans obsess with McDonut’s favorite Chinese restaurant. Man we wish we could be you but unfortunately we have high paying jobs and a government that didn’t ruin our state. Keep crushing on us. We love hearing it.

  3. Capt. Fritter

    Hate to say it but we had it coming. Being smug all those years the Packers dominated the division. Now it’s Vikings with the bragging rights and well deserved. Can’t stand the Queens any more than I can the lions or sucky bears but now it’s the Packers turn to be in the barrel, and it’s gonna hurt.

    • PF4L

      In light of a recent ass kicking, i don’t think Packer fans are hurting right now. Queen fans?….Well……..

  4. Phillthy

    Some Gods names are never mentioned by those unworthy. Glad he knows his place, and Vikings fans shall know theirs come next year. When your team rides triumphant because your competition is broken, well, we don’t really call that a victory do we? Until next year, when we both meet at 100%.

    • KILLER

      Phillthy (are you an Eagles fan going to a Packers web site to troll Vikings fans who may be on here? You are really covering all the bases so I guess I have to give you some grudging respect at least for that), injuries are part of the game. Good teams do their best to overcome them. It is not always possible. A more injured team is at a great disadvantage over a much less injured one.

      Still, look at the teams in the NFC Championship. The Eagles lost their QB in like game 12 and the Vikings lost theirs AFTER ONE GAME into the season! Eagles also lost their #1 RB (I think Sproles was #1 at the time) as did the Vikings. Both teams continued to be successful. Packers lost one guy and fell to pieces.

      Packers claim that one guy is their whole team and more important than the rest of the team put together. Well, if true, why is that? That is how they chose to build the team. They made their bed and need to lay in it now. Are laying in it now.

      Claiming the season would have been different if Aaron Rodgers was not injured, while obvious, is also disingenuous. They did not whine after their Super Bowl win that that season would have been different had Rodgers been injured. Packers have enjoyed uncanny luck in healthy QBs — only two significant injuries in 25 years! Most teams it is about 1 per 3 years. So Packers got lucky about 6 times +. But, instead of pointing out how lucky they have been it is all “Woe is to me how could this be ’tis not fair”.

      * Not all Packers fans. Truth and Capt. Fritter keep it real as do many others.

      The Vikings did not “… rides triumphant because your competition is broken…”. First, they have had as much injury issues as the Packers and to as important of positions. Packers: QB, RT. Vikings: QB, RB. Both teams in the same boat, roughly, but only one of them chose to paddle to success.

      The Vikings went 13-3. They were already well on their way to beating the Packers at home with Rodgers leading them. Even if you argue the Packers would have won with Rodgers in GB — and, by the way, they had their chance to go out and prove that as Rodger was healthy enough to play but BUT they chose to purposely tank that game and hey, that is on THEM – the Vikings still would have been 12-4 and would have won the division. The Packers had one loss coming into the Vikings game, + lost that one and would have if Rodgers played all game, + lost to the Steelers and would have with Rodgers — we know this because Hundley on that game played perfect and Rodgers could not have played better, and the Packers lost to the Panthers WITH Rodgers. That is already 4 definite losses. Saints and Lions, twice, also could have won some games against a with-Rodgers Packers team.

      Repeat: Only 2 of the Vikings games were against the Packers, one Rodgers played and would have lost even if he played the whole game the other Rodgers could have and would have played if he had wanted to. It is not the Vikings fault he chose not to play. If he thought he’d win, wouldn’t he have played? Either he knew he would lose and wanted to avoid embarrassment and truth or the Packers intentionally tanked.

      So, as I’ve now made clear, the Vikings success is not due to Rodgers’ injury. Nice try trying to rob credit and diminish accomplishment but even the want-to-fooled Packers fans on this site are not likely to fall for that.

    • Bradley Johnson

      This means you never mention the Giants or Dallas since they’ve owned you since… forever, right?

  5. Zimmer as an NFL defensive coordinator and head coach now has a 1-9 all time playoff record. Zimmer at least has that one playoff win over the last decade plus to celebrate this off season. Thanks to a miracle from his offense.

  6. GOPACKGO

    For all you saying “ah the packers were 7-9 and the vikings are so much better” I have one thing to respond: Aaron Rodgers. The vikings choke when it matters, and can’t beat the packers without taking out the star QB. Yes the packers have issues, but they also have 13 world championships. Vikings got exposed as the mediocre team they are by a REAL defense in Philly. Hope you enjoyed your one year of NFC north champs. See you in September!

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