At times like these, jokes can come in handy. Such as…
Why do the Minnesota Vikings wear purple?
Because they always choke in the playoffs.
Why can’t the Minnesota Vikings eat cereal?
Because every time they get close to a bowl, they crap themselves.
And so it went. I could not be more delighted. As I have said before — a choker always chokes. That’s why they’re chokers.
The fairytale season of the Minnesota Stinkings is over. And it really couldn’t have happened in more spectacular fashion. One game away from hosting the Super Bowl in their own stadium. The vaunted No. 1 defense in the NFL. The surprisingly solid quarterback play from a guy the Rams discarded.
Went right out there in Philadelphia and shit the bed. They shit it like Spud shit it in Trainspotting.
A 31-point beatdown at the hands of the Eagles and backup quarterback Napoleon Dynamite.
That No. 1 defense? Let Nick Foles torch them for 352 yards and three touchdowns.
That revitalized quarterback? Threw two picks and also fumbled.
Playing the Super Bowl at home? Nope!
So suck it, Minnesota Stinkings fans. We’ve all just been sitting around and waiting for this moment because we knew it to be inevitable.
Enjoy that third-runner-up trophy. It will look nice next to your other runner-up trophies.