Good Riddance, Minnesota Stinkings

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Minnesota Vikings failure

At times like these, jokes can come in handy. Such as…

Why do the Minnesota Vikings wear purple?

Because they always choke in the playoffs.

Or…

Why can’t the Minnesota Vikings eat cereal?

Because every time they get close to a bowl, they crap themselves.

And so it went. I could not be more delighted. As I have said before — a choker always chokes. That’s why they’re chokers.

The fairytale season of the Minnesota Stinkings is over. And it really couldn’t have happened in more spectacular fashion. One game away from hosting the Super Bowl in their own stadium. The vaunted No. 1 defense in the NFL. The surprisingly solid quarterback play from a guy the Rams discarded.

Went right out there in Philadelphia and shit the bed. They shit it like Spud shit it in Trainspotting.

A 31-point beatdown at the hands of the Eagles and backup quarterback Napoleon Dynamite.

That No. 1 defense? Let Nick Foles torch them for 352 yards and three touchdowns.

That revitalized quarterback? Threw two picks and also fumbled.

Playing the Super Bowl at home? Nope!

So suck it, Minnesota Stinkings fans. We’ve all just been sitting around and waiting for this moment because we knew it to be inevitable.

Enjoy that third-runner-up trophy. It will look nice next to your other runner-up trophies.

About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

50 Comments on "Good Riddance, Minnesota Stinkings"

  1. Savage57

    Killer, Killer, where art thou?

    Come lecture us with abandon, the supremacy of your team.

    In the pantheon of losers, when the roll is called, yours is one which must answer first and loudest.

    Skol, indeed.

    • KILLER

      Right here, Savage57! Hey, just remember when you talk bad about the Vikings that they are light years better than the Packers. So take what you say, all the negative pissy petty jealousy and and multiply it x 100 and that is a portrayal of your team.

      Keep in mind that what you say says nothing about the Vikings but fully reveals your character. Or, in this case, the lack thereof.

      Poor fools, you have a team comprised of an arrogant scapegoating MM, an aging smug prick gay-hiding QB, and a bunch of journeymen types.

      All you really have left is your poor sportsmanship and schadenfreude.

      • Savage57

        Bitch, please.

        Light years? The Packers were able to stack 21 in their NFCCG loss instead of that impressive lone TD while eating a 31 point beat down.

        As to character, you’re a Vikings fan. On the other hand, I’m a Packers fan, so by extension, I win any character debate .

        You’re going to have a miserable next two weeks, watching that sea of green and silver remind you of your team’s most recent cock-gobble, not to mention the next ten-years; your team used up their once in a decade run at futility.

        But, SKOL!, you cognizantly-dissonant dreamer, you.

        • KILLER

          You live in the past with your pride in the Packers loss. I live in the present day and in the future.

          Present day:
          Vikings 14-4, division winners, #1 D in points and yards, play off win
          Packers 7-9, quitters, scapegoaters, nice snow slide

          Future:
          Vikings uber-talented, lots of long-term contracts at excellent value, great front office, great coaches
          Packers MM, other MM, motley crew of coaches awaiting their ultimate scapegoating, aging QB

          Your past is indeed your only refuge Savage57.

          • PF4L

            Awe…..can’t you please write some more novels on how good Casey Kasum is?

            lmao….fkn moron.

          • Ferris

            All of your posts mean zero until the Vikings win a Super Bowl. Which will be never. Live in the past the present or the future, talking about how great everything is in Minnesota is idle chatter and you know it.

          • Phillthy

            This asshat is gonna talk character? You come on a Packers website to troll, what does that say about your character? Lmfao

      • AXEL

        Butthurt much?

        Where I live I’ve had a steady diet all week of the “Minnesota Miracle”. I’m thinking, yeah we’ll see. Ultimately the lesson here is save your crowing until you’ve got the trophy. It doesn’t matter unless you win the big one. There is the Super Bowl champ and everybody else is just a bridesmaid in the draft pecking order.

        • KILLER

          Axel, you’re messed up dude. First, there is a difference between enjoying/appreciating and “crowing”. We Vikings fans enoyed the heck out of the Minneapolis Miracle. That was all-time classic great football.

          If you save any and all appreciation and enjoyment for the Super Bowl it means you haven’t had any football fun since 2010! I’ve had tons of football fun since 2010! You’re missing out, Axel, your misplaced attitude is holding you back.

      • Icebowl

        Stopped reading after “right here”…..
        Nothing can explain away that your Heidis were exposed by the Eagles.
        Simply put – their luck ran out.
        Think of it as a gift – youd have been more upset when Belicheat had done this and worse to Heidis had they made it to SB….

        Now go wipe your tears on your NFC North Champ Banner – a division that WILL NOT give you 5 wins in 2018….

        • PF4L

          Lonely boy seems highly upset….you know the old saying, if lonely boy aint happy, aint no one in the trailer park happy.

          Lets lighten up the mood a lil with some entertainment….

          What’s the difference between the Eagles and the queens?

          The Eagles give a damn.

          How the fuck…..all you have to do is win, and you play at home in the Super Bowl, which NEVER happens. And you don’t even put up a fight? Holy Shit!!

          One of the most epic beatdowns of NFL playoff history, 38 unanswered. All we heard from queen players during the game was wimpers, Now…that’s all we hear from their fans.

          Karma’s a bitch amirite lonely boy?

        • KILLER

          Whenever I see someone like Iceballs say he stopped reading and then quotes the first word or words or sentence it tells me a lot about them.

          1. They read the whole thing.
          2. They could not come up with any intelligent argument to counter my statements. Unwilling to agree and not man enough to do so they retreat into the hidey hole of climbing they did not red it.
          3. I know right away they are about to degenerate into some sort of attempted abuse (said misguided abuse becoming pure entertainment to me) that imitates a 4th grader.

          Intellectual coward.

          • Icebowl

            1) I used to read your early posts – found they were just constant rehash of same unfounded Packers hating verbage. Simply put I don’t have enough time in the day to continue reading your trashy, never-ending tomes.

            2) Don’t read your trash [see 1)] – your “counter statements” have the holding power of a wet paper bag. Simply put I don’t have enough time in the day to respond to such morose babble.

            3) nice touch Using “Iceballs” to address me – a 2nd grader move.

            K. your are imo the biggest hypocrite and most boring person to ever post on this site. I still highly question your motives and am saddened that this has obviously become a major art of your life….. Life’s too short, man. Enjoy it – go start Totalvikings.com and use your limited writing skills to pose happy thoughts…

  2. Kato

    God I fucking love this. The chili chowing Vikings shit down their fucking leg. Again. I mean, I don’t want to complain too much, the blowout loss is pretty sweet, but I would have loved to see them miss another field goal for the win as time expired.

  3. Kato

    And good luck keeping that team together. Diggs and Barr free agents after next year. Diggs will get Davante Adams money, or more. The QB they sign this off-season will be $20 million plus. Hunter will be a free agent after next year. Theilon will probably get a raise, not next year but the following year.

  4. KILLER

    We already have a core signed up for years with Everson Griffen, Linval Joseph, Xavier Rhodes, Harrison Smith, Riley Reiff, Mike Remmers, Kyle Rudolph, Latavius Murray, and, yes, Adam Thielen. Thielen signed a 4-year, 19.3 million dollar contract before this year so we have him at least 2018, 2019, and 2010. In fact, those three years combined will cost the Vikings about what Davante Adams cost the Packers for JUST ONE YEAR. And he is much better than Adams! Now THAT is value!!

    Besides those 9 veterans we also have core rookie and sophomore types in Dalvin Cook, Pat Elflein, Ben Gedeon, Jaleel Johnson, Stacy Coley, Tashawn Bower, Stephen Weatherly, Shamar Stephen, Kentrell Brothers, Jayron Kearse, Anthony Harris, CJ Ham, David Morgan II, Laquon Treadwell, Danny Isadora, Eric Wilson, and Aviante Collins.

    We have 60 million under the cap. Maybe 25 goes to QB and back up. I think we franchise Case Keenum for 23 million if we can’t do a long term contract. Make sure of how he is without Pat Shurmer.

    Leaves 37 million and the cap increases about 10 million per year.

    We have Daneille Hunter, one of my favorite players, for 2018. Same thing Barr and Kendricks and Diggs and Waynes. We can maybe re-up two of them this year and use some of that 37 on them. By 2018 we are up to 47 million in cap space. By then Tom Johnson, Terence Newman, Brian Robison, and Joe Berger retire. It opens up a bit more than 10 million more. If we want and do not spend money on outside free agents we should be able to keep all five: Hunter, Barr, Kendricks, Waynes, and Diggs.

    And we still have draft picks coming up to replace Johnson, Berger, Newman, and Robison.

    Stop worrying about the Vikings. We’re in great shape. Put your mind at ease. Keep calm and carry on.

    • Ferris

      As soon as you say WE, you lose all credibility. I looked online…I didn’t see your name in the Vikings front office. I doubt you’re a season ticket holder or any true supporter. You are not WE.

      • KILLER

        Oh my God…! You looked over all the Vikings staff… looking for “Killer”? You do know that is not my real name, right? You fool!

    • PF4L

      Xavier Rhodes looked fabulous, Smith was always right there, about 2 steps too late.
      Griffin looked like his PED self, at least i think he played, not sure.

      Yea, slap 23 mill on Casey Kasum, what could go wrong?

      Bwahahahahahaha……

      • KILLER

        There were some kids at grade school in second grade that used to do that — you know, say Bwahahahahaha in imitation crying. (Not to me.) But things changed in the third grade. Those kids matured. Just a little bit. And they didn’t say “Bwahahahahaha” any more.

    • Kick Me

      We? Are you on the inactive roster, because I don’t see your name listed in the stats.

      Go back to your trailer in Thief River Falls and jerk off to your usual Honey Boo Boo pr0n.

      • KILLER

        Sounds like a case of displacement. Classic.

        You can’t use reason because reason would lead you to agree with me. You can’t debate intelligently because it requires intelligence to do so.

        So you degenerate into poorly formed unclever insults. Except it’s not really degeneration is it? That is just the real you.

    • Bob

      You guys missed the most important thing about killer, he is the gm of the Vikings. He has the cap figured for the next ten years. LOL

  5. Dums toupee

    Now im going to have to go rewatch Rocky 1-3, just so i can get that gay image of that putrid yellow scarf around the statues neck out of my head. Lol. Stupid Kids On Lsd. Special kids or losers..Stupid kinds of losses. Go back to your ice caves with your stupid chants, you inbred purple fucks!!

    • KILLER

      Presenting… the height of DNA advancement among Packer fans. Oh, so sad! This is your best? All you got?

      We have homophobia, chromophobia, poor grammar, typos, unhinged sentence structure, a classic petitio principii gaffe, displacement (inbred), and the usual non-creative insults all in this pleasingly concise post by Dums Toupee. I think the toupee is living up to its name and effecting your mind. We hope so. That way you can fix your issues by taking it off. I that is not the source… well, better luck next life!

  6. TyKo Steamboat

    Thats right! Mother fucking fuck the BiQueens!
    They won’t be able to resign all those studs on defense now. & no SuperBowl for the home team! 2009 & now 2017 were a loss.
    Fuck their fans, their norse horn, purple unis & faggy SKOL chant!
    I fucking hate those goddam rat bastards. Kiss the rings, bitches.

  7. Danforth Cuntingdon-Smythe

    When it comes to shitting the bed then getting ass-raped then faced-fucked, no-one does it better than the Vikings!

    Special
    Kind
    Of
    Losers

  8. KILLER

    Let’s share a little insight.

    “I love this team, I love these guys, I love the coaching staff, I love this whole organization.”
    Is this quote from:
    A) Aaron Rodgers, ever?
    B) Case Keenum today.
    If you said “B” let you now hear “dingdingdingding”.
    If you said “A” let you now hear “UuuuUuuuuUuuuUuuuu”.

    • PF4L

      Casey Kasum = 63.8 PR, 2 picks(6), 1 fumble
      Nick Foles = 141.4 PR

      38 unanswered points.

      0-6 in NFCCG’s since 1976.

      What exactly, concerning “Special Kind of Losers” don’t you understand?

  9. KILLER

    In other news under the heading of small condolences TE Kyle Rudolph and DT Linval Joseph and Harrison Smith have been named to the pro bowl joining Anthony Barr (who will miss it due to injury), Xavier Rhodes, Adam Thielen, and Everson Griffen.

    7 pro bowlers, 4 of them also All-Pros. 6 of these 7 have been signed to long term contract extensions in the last couple years. Rudolph “only” runs 2 more years but the others run 3 or 4 years more not counting this one. Barr we have for next year and hopefully we can extend him.

    Front office drafting and coaching development. The future is very bright!

  10. Truth

    The comments I see from 99% of the idiots on here make me wish the Vikings went all the way. Who the fuck are packers fans to talk about shitting the bed in NFCCG? 2014? 2016?

    And I see people jumping on someone for using the word “we”? Yet there are several “You” shit the bed comments. What’s up with that?

    Also kato, please research before posting.

    Pf4l, love the Internet tough guy routine you put on. Gets me every time. This site is pure gold! You and kato could do a sitcom.
    ” Me master..him blaster” bwaahahahah.

    Back to real football. If I had to pick a roster and coach in the NFC North to pair Rodgers with, it’s gonna be the Vikings. Not even close.

    Rodgers on the Vikings vs Rodgers on the packers. Who wins? By how much?

  11. Cheese

    Holy shit, Killer has replied to damn near every comment on here. Who spends that much time and energy on another fanbases site to argue how good they think their favorite team is? I have never posted on another teams website, even after the Packers won the SB and I could have gloated left and right. Why? Because I don’t give a shit what Vikings fans, Bears fans, Lions fans, or whoever think about Packers. Hey TRUTH, maybe that is why people make nasty comments about the Vikings, because they have to constantly listen to verbal diarrhea about how great the Vikings are, on a Packers website, when in fact they haven’t won shit. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to tell you Minnesota’s defense is better than Green Bays. Congratulations, they made it to the NFCCG and shit the bed. Looks like all that tough talk was worth it. Here’s a good tip, don’t celebrate like you’ve won the Super Bowl before you’ve won the Super Bowl.

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