If that useless sack of bones, Ted Thompson, would just stop pretending he’s senile and get the hell out of town, we wouldn’t need to deal with any of this.
But old Ginger Gap Tooth would never have that. Big Ted is my boy until he shits himself at the conference table!
That’s the word from Mark Murphy!
And let’s be clear. Ted would probably have to shit himself at the conference table at least seven times. The first four of those times, GGT would clean him up himself and then roll him back into the room and, with excited face, “so who are we gonna draft this year, Teddy?!”
Ted Thompson needs to go.
One potential replacement is former Kansas City Chiefs’ GM (and former Packers’ director of football operations) John Dorsey.
For whatever screwed-up reason — a power struggle with fat man Andy Reid seems to be the prevailing theory — Dorsey was let go by the Chiefs during this past summer. Odd timing for a GM dismissal, for sure.
But he’ll be back.
Somewhere.
Hopefully, not with the Cleveland Browns.
I can’t even say the Jacksonville Jaguars are the NFL’s JV team anymore. They have a JV quarterback, but boy, that defense…
No, the Cleveland Browns are the only JV team in the NFL. I kind of wish it was like the English Premier League, where the losiest losers got sent down a division. The Browns do not belong in the NFL.
Sorry, Jim. Sorry, Paul.
You had your years. This franchise needs to be lit on fire and burned to the ground.
You know, unless John Dorsey can resurrect them. That’s what the old Browneyes are looking at.
They fired VP or whatever Sashi Brown on Thursday. Brown was an analytics guy and that shit seems to work in baseball (except when it doesn’t Dave Roberts, you fucking prick, why did you pull Rich Hill in the fifth!), but it hasn’t quite got it done in football.
John Dorsey is an old-school guy. Ron Wolf. Big Ted.
Okay, sorry, the latter guy made one good draft pick and has been skating on that ever since.
But Ron Wolf.
Behind the scenes over the past few weeks, the #Browns have privately vetted GM candidates — with eyes on former #Chiefs GM John Dorsey.
— Ian Rapoport (@RapSheet) December 7, 2017
Dorsey has been vetted. He’s probably going to be offered the job. He’ll probably take it.
Because, think about it. If you are the GM who is able to turn around this sad sack of shit team that doesn’t even deserve to be in the NFL, you’re going into the Hall of Fame.
However, we will give you caution, John Dorsey. One of our all-time favorites, The Walrus himself, Mike Holmgren, once tried to take on this task. And due to the nature of the Browns and the truck-stop piece of shit that owns them, The Walrus is Paul.