Oh, Joy! Ted Thompson Spoke Today!

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Ted Thompson

The season hasn’t started yet, so that means Green Bay Packers general manager Ted Thompson is still forced to speak to the media. Once the season begins, he isn’t and he doesn’t.

Of course, Ted Thompson speaking engagements are about as enlightening as speaking to a three-year-old about the benefits of the cover-2.

Ted’s mouth moves, but nothing worthwhile ever comes out. We’ve surmised this could possibly be for three reasons.

  1. Ted Thompson somehow has negative personality
  2. Ted Thompson is a puppet with Mark Murphy’s hand up his ass and Mark Murphy isn’t really a very good ventriloquist.
  3. Ted Thompson is actually a robot programmed by Bill Belichick, good enough to make the Packers competitive, but specifically constructed to stay out of the Patriots’ way.

So was there anything remotely interesting uttered by Big Ted today?

Only that he has no idea when he’s going to retire, which of course, we are overjoyed about.

“I don’t constantly evaluate it, and I don’t know,” Thompson said. “We’ll see. Stay tuned.”

Informative.

Enthralling.

Murphy has publicly stated, that despite his obviously deteriorating mental capacity, Thompson will remain Packers GM as long as he wants.

And that’s just good business!

About The Author

Mordecai is a writer living in Los Angeles. He primarily writes screenplays, but also does crap like this because GREEN BAY PACKERS, baby!

13 Comments on "Oh, Joy! Ted Thompson Spoke Today!"

  1. Thorny

    I’m disappointed you didn’t pick up on his comment from playing years in the NFL. Spoke to “limping”… mentally, so, I would surmise given the recent CTE study. You were one of the few outlets to report on TT’s mental decline a few months ago. This only furthered that viewpoint with his comment and overall performance at the podium. Zach Kruse caught it.

    • KILLER

      I do think there is something there. That is why I’ve stopped “picking on” Ted. Just not cool to do that. Further confirmation it is not cool to pick on Ted any longer is that Mordecai (Monty/PF4L) still do it. Then you know for sure it is not cool!

      I will say that I think the Packers relative higher level of activity in free agency this year and the fact various Packer front-office personnel have backed away from outside opportunities adds up to TT being more of a front or figurehead while others actually run things and look to both run things and take over the public face in the near future. I also found the draft itself a departure from drafts of the last decade with the Packers. TT’s style has been to wait for players to drop down further than projected and then take them and also to fill needs instead of BPA (granted, an odd combination of traits but that is often what happened). Some of the “drift down” draft picks over the years include HaHa Clinton-Dix, Bryan Bulaga, Aaron Rodgers. Reaching for need picks include Justin Harrell, Datone Jones, Damarious Randall, Quinton Rollins, and Kenny Clark. This year we see Kevin King and Josh Jones taken with the first two picks. Both are extremely athletic so we see athleticism has a new higher value with the Packers than in the past. Even M. Adams is very athletic. And Josh Jones was really not a need a pick — though you can certainly argue he was if always intended for ILB. The draft just had a very different flavor this year… just like someone else was running it….

      If you have lesser coaching you take the more advanced big school players who have performed well already due to technique. You also take them if you need to quickly fill holes — which TT typically left gaping like certain porn actresses certain orifices.

      If you have superior coaching you take the superior athletes who can then be molded to be great. And you do the same thing if you are in it for the long term results, not just the coming year.

      I believe a regime change, in private, has already occurred.

      I do wish TT and his family luck in any challenges they face… other than beating the Vikings, of course.

  2. PF4L

    I believe that Murphy is Ted’s puppet, only because Ted was there first, which Murphy eluded to awhile back when a softball question was lobbed Murphys way about Ted retiring.

    It’s really kind of sad that no one has the backbone or gumption to intercede and do what’s best for the team, and the fans at this point. It’s sad and fairly pathetic that people around Ted won’t acknowledge he has a problem. whether that problem be Dementia, Parkinson’s, or whatever. It’s just head in the sand, do your own thing and answer to no one. I’m not stone cold from someone suffering, but that doesn’t give you an unquestionable free pass to keep your job for as long as you see fit. Nor does drafting a QB 12 years ago, even a HOF QB.

    Who pay’s for all this? The team and it’s fans.

    I can’t tell you how successful the next GM will be, but i can tell you with 100% certainty that Ted has held his job too long. It would be different if he was more successful at acquiring defensive talent. But the reality is his draft acquisitions on defense have been horrible. I doubt i’d need to explain that to any of you. We are now in our 7th season of “hoping” for a competent defense.

    For those fans who still have faith that Ted will strike gold in the draft. Glod bless you, send him some flowers.

  3. PF4L

    I just watched the beginning of his presser, from 20 seconds in, to 40 seconds in, that was enough for me.

    Holy shit.

  4. When TT played in the NFL the games were vicious. You actually had to block and cover kickoffs if you weren’t a starter. Practices and training camps were even more vicious, and a lot longer, trying to weed out the weak. TT butted heads not only with an opponent weekly. TT also butted heads constantly with Earl Campball, Mike Munchak, Dave Casper, and Bruce Matthews for long practices and camps. That had to take a toll.

    Maybe one of the reasons Murphy doesn’t see it is because Murphy also took that same beating in camp and practices from the likes of John Riggins, Joe Jacoby, Jeff Bostic, and Russ Grimm.

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