Vikings Are Already Talking Shit About Packers

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Alex Boone

Hey, what would you expect from an organization that has never won shit and envies the success of their NFC North rival, the Green Bay Packers?

Earlier this week, our pal Ginger Gap Tooth more or less guaranteed the Packers would be playing in the Super Bowl this year. That game will be held at the Hormel Chili Dome, the home of the Minnesota Vikings.

And sure, it would be really swell if the Vikings watched the Packers win the biggest game in the universe on their home field. Not only because the Packers are due for another Super Bowl win, but because it would probably be humiliating for the Vikings.

Then we can remind them that, hey losers, not only have you never won one of these, but we just won one where you play your games.

Minnesota Vikings have no rings

Well, naturally, the Vikings are talking tough.

I’d love to see that, Alex. Your dead body laying on the field as we celebrate.

If you fail to know who Alex Boone is, that’s okay. He was signed by the Vikings prior to last season and then went on to be part of — fairly definitively — the worst frickin’ offensive line in football.

That raises the question, has Alex Boone not been dead for the past year or so?

I actually thought they had to prop him up with a piece of PVC up his ass all of last season.

It’s a good thing Sam Bradford can only throw four-yard passes because otherwise things might have gotten even uglier than 8-8.

But look, as we all know — this, THIS is the Vikings year!

And here’s a challenge for you: try to find a photo of Alex Boone where his mouth isn’t open. That’s right, just like everyone else in Minnesota, he’s a mouth-breather.

About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

8 Comments on "Vikings Are Already Talking Shit About Packers"

  1. PF4L

    It’s hard to tell who is more brain dead, the vikings players or their fans.

    Over his dead body? Like he or the Vikings who have a say in the matter.

    If you look at the Super Bowl era, look at the history of the Lions and the vikings and add up all their Super Bowl victory’s together, they are only one behind Aaron Rodgers.

    Maybe killer can tell us how cool it is for a team to win 5 in a row or how much pride is felt raising that all-elusive NFC North banner.

    Enjoy some other NFC team playing for a SB in your new chili dome.

  2. Cheese

    “Earlier this week, our pal Ginger Gap Tooth more or less guaranteed the Packers would be playing in the Super Bowl this year. ”

    Tom Silverstein ✔ @TomSilverstein
    “Murphy on #Packers in Minny SB: It was not a guarantee. It would just be nice. The new stadium is spectacular. It will be a great Super Bowl”

    Don’t worry, there were no guarantees. It would just be nice….

    • KILLER

      Wow, a Chris Hovan reference in 2017! He will not die in anonymity after all! Nice pull from the grey mists of lesser known history.

      What next? Vikings’ former 4th round pick CB John Swain intercepting Lynn Dickey twice in Green Bay at Lambeau Field in 1983 to help beat the Packers 20-17?

  3. KILLER

    So much to address here. Let’s get started.

    While the Vikings have not won a Super Bowl it is wildly wrong to proclaim they have not won anything. For instance, the Vikings have won the division 19 times compared to the Packers winning it 15 times. The Vikings also won 28 playoff berths compared to 22 for the Packers. Just remember that when you insult the Vikings, since they have outperformed and exceeded the Packers in many ways while “head to head”, you are even more egregiously insulting the Packers.

    A guarantee by Ginger Gap Tooth is as valuable as a piece of used toilet paper. And it is as accurate as when you use the stains on the toilet paper as an accurate road map when trying to drive through the mountains of Kentucky/Tennessee. From all the attacks on the Ginger Gap on this site I know you must agree.

    When I think of the Vikings grand beautiful new home field (which writers on this site called ugly — because they think Cindy Crawford, Emily Ratajkowski, Alessandra Ambrosio, Candice Swanepoel, and Adrianna Lima are all terrible ugly) I think of the first ever regular season game there, just last year, which was also Sam Bradford’s first game after just 8 days with the Vikings, wherein the Vikings defeated the Packers and Bradford performed like a super star. That was a great game. Way to initiate the new season! (Nice interception of Rodgers by Trae Waynes also.)

    One thing for sure: There will be no Super Bowls at Lame-beau Field. Not in such an ugly stadium with the high school style bleacher seats. Worst stadium in the NFL. Not even close. You guys can be jealous of all the other cities hosting Super Bowls into infinity until you tear down that old barn AND replace it with something legit — which we all know the Packers are way too cheap to ever do until there is a terrible structural collapse causing multiple deaths. Which has 50/50 odds since the stadium was constructed back when the average Packers fan weighed 161 pounds and now the average one weighs 237 pounds. And that is just the females!

    As per Alex Boone, he is a great football player. Great spirit, great attitude. How great is his attitude? He is basically the Jared Allen of offensive linemen. That is truly great. Heck, you can see how great his attitude is just via that one comment. Willing to give his life to stop the Packers. Now there is a hero.

    Boone was part of arguably the worst offensive line in football last year. Like a broken clock getting the time correct twice a day, Monty nailed that one. We had 5 players at LT due to a series of injuries. 3 or 4 at RT. RG out all year due to an injury. Boone was also injured at times. It is truly amazing how great Bradford did under those circumstances. New offense, worst o-line in football, and his QB rating was just a shade under that of Aaron Rodgers.

    So the offensive line was very bad but you are practicing guilt by association, that somehow it means Boone was the reason or just as bad. Not the case. While not lofty, Pro Football Weekly ranks Boone as the 19th best guard in the NFL. For comparison sake, they rank the Packers guards 6th (T.J. Lang) and 10th (Josh Sitton). Wait! My apologies! Packers cheaply failed to pony up the money for Lang and cowardly back-stabbed Sitton who was on a relatively extremely cheap contract. The ACTUAL Packers guards were ranked so low they could not even make the ranks of the publicly ranked. Jahri Evans is highly ranked… by the AARP….. Don Barclay is highly ranked… by the Bus Driver’s Association of America… as one of the Top 1000 bus drivers not actually currently driving a bus. Lane Taylor was voted “Most Likely to Eat So Much He Eventually Comes to Resemble the Wife of a Packer Fan”. (Currently he is ‘only” 324 pounds)

    Bradford threw a lot of short passes last year but that was by design due to the poor offensive line situation. He can throw long and was actually the most accurate long ball passer last year even with the offensive line situation. This comment by Monty is typical of what you normally get from the broken clock — erroneous information.

    And, finally, the Monty challenge to try to find a photo of Boone where his mouth is not open. That was very easy. You can do it too. Yep, even a Packer fan can do this. Type Alex Boone into your online search engine. Then click on “images”. There you will find many a photo of him with mouth open or mouth closed. Just as you would with any player. Obviously Monty is not strong on research. Or accuracy.

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