David Bakhtiari Really Loves No. 69

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David Bakhtiari

Listen…

Has Green Bay Packers left tackle David Bakhtiari seen Bill & Ted?

I don’t know.

However, like Rob Gronkowski, who is a child in a man’s body, he loves the number 69.

Why would you love that number?

If you don’t know, you should probably start considering eating some pussy or, for our lady friends, having your pussy eaten.

But look, Google that shit.

It was a thing when we were in high school — 69, bro!

Gronk giggles about it, because let’s face it — he’s a mental neophyte. David Bakhtiari makes a career out of it.

I’m 69, bros!

It’s not as if this number was chosen by accident. It was chosen totally on purpose.

And DBak loves it!

DO NOT TREAD ON THE 69!

This was actually an effort to keep his number of followers on Twitter at 69,000. Why?

Because… 69, bros!

In previous years, we might have made fun of the guy for being so juvenile.

But when you’re one of the best goddam tackles in the NFL and you play for the Green Bay Packers, you can 69 that shit all day long as far as we’re concerned.

 

About The Author

Mordecai is a writer living in Los Angeles. He primarily writes screenplays, but also does crap like this because GREEN BAY PACKERS, baby!

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