Every year, the Green Bay Packers trot out old Ginger Gap Tooth to report their financials. Every year, that Alfred E. Neuman lookalike tells us the Packers have set a new record for revenue, profits or both.
What, me worry?
This year was no different.
- $48.9 million profit
- $222.6 million in national revenue
- $186.2 million in local revenue (which is astounding, by the way)
- $408.7 million in total revenue
The Packers have reported an increase in revenue every year since 2003. It’s a formality at this point. That’s why we could give a shit.
And that’s why Gingy Gap has the easiest goddam job in football.
The fact of the matter is, NFL football is the most popular sport in the United States. Each new TV contract is going to eclipse the last. Since that revenue is split between all 32 teams, everyone benefits equally.
On the local front, the Packers’ popularity isn’t decreasing. It mirrors that of the NFL.
They expand the stadium, they sell more tickets. They expand the Pro Shop, they sell more merch. They offer more sponsorship opportunities, they sell more sponsorships.
Here’s a perfect example.
During training camp in 2015, the Packers decided it was time to capitalize on the bike riding tradition.
If you’ve followed the Packers for any amount of time, you know there’s a tradition of players riding local kids’ bikes from the practice field back to Lambeau Field.
This is something that started during the Lombardi era. Innocent, cool and something that was quintessentially Green Bay.
And then the Packers decided to make it a bike path, name it Dream Drive and let American Family insurance sponsor it.
Maybe you’ve heard of this phenomenon.
It’s called supply and demand.
They churn it out, everyone laps it up.
The Green Bay Packers are the only NFL team to publicly report their financials.
This is interesting for two reasons.
It’s interesting to the national media because it’s the only glimpse they get into the financial condition of anything in the NFL. Thus, they can make projections about the worth of other NFL franchises and the league as a whole. They can also discern exactly what the league’s TV contracts are worth.
It’s interesting — or perhaps maddening is a better word — on a local level because the Packers are publicly owned. Owned by people like you and I.
And what do people like you and I — shareholders — get for these record numbers?
Jack shit.
Even though we’re shareholders, we have no shareholder rights.
We have no say in what goes on in the company, we earn no dividends from the record profits of our company and we don’t even have a say in who runs our company.
Each year, shareholders get a packet in the mail outlining who the Packers have selected for their board of directors. The number of potential directors equals the number of open seats. So, you see, you can either vote for those people or not vote at all.
There aren’t options. You can’t submit a write-in candidate. You just vote for the people the Packers have hand picked or you don’t.
Does any other publicly-owned corporation get away with this sort of bullshit?
Not to my knowledge. I have yet to discern how the Packers can legally get away with it.
So what do they do with all this fucking money?
Well, you’ll hear vagaries like “put it back into the community” and “put it back into the team.”
Sure.
Of course, they also threaten to sue people. People like us.
That link right there is an example of the annual cease and desist letter we get from the Packers or whatever law firm is representing them. You know, because it’s illegal to be a news organization reporting on a football team.
And you’re not doing your job in creating record profits if you don’t threaten your fans and supporters with bullshit lawsuits.
RIGHT?!
Do exactly what we say, funnel your hard-earned money directly to us and don’t ask any questions or expect anything in return! Got it?
Hey, I knew what I signed up for when I bought that useless piece of paper known as Packers stock. I was probably high when I did it.
I really see no other plausible explanation.
So really, go shove your record financials up your ass, Mark.
You’ve literally got the easiest fucking job in the world. Maybe you could put a few hours of it to better use next year and not threaten to sue your own fans and shareholders.
I mean, in the absence of any actual dividends or voting privileges, I don’t feel like that’s asking too much.