We know there are many of you who will be relieved to know that free agent fullback John Kuhn will likely return to the Green Bay Packers this year.
Coach Mike McCarthy said Kuhn is still in the Packers’ plans, on Wednesday. He then went on some diatribe about how tight ends and fullbacks are one in the same, but we really could care less about that.
What we care about is your love for yelling “Kuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhn” when the bulky white guy rumbles for negative one on second and short. Because you LOVE to do that. And we want you to be happy.
I mean, forget that no one in the NFL utilizes the fullback position anymore. Forget that Kuhn is going to be 33 later this year. Forget that Kuhn has surpassed 100 yards rushing in a season only once in his career.
Forget all that shit.
Doesn’t matter.
What matters is that you NEED to yell “Kuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhn” because this guy is fuckin’ awesome!
He carries a lunch pail just like you do. Pay close attention next time you’re watching a game. When Kuhn is in the game for his allotted two plays, you’ll be like, what the hell is that black box in Kuhn’s left hand?
Why, it’s a goddam lunch pail! I carry a lunch pail! John Kuhn is ME!
Kuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhn!
Yeah, seriously, the Packers didn’t re-sign Kuhn until April 3 last year. And then, they gave him just a one-year deal worth $1 million. He’ll probably be playing for the veteran’s minimum this year.
Now, let’s relive some great moments in John Kuhn.