Unfortunately, The Chicago Bears are Cleaning House

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Chicago Bears coach Marc Trestman working the combine

Chicago Bears coach Marc Trestman working the combine

That’s unfortunate if you’re a fan of the Green Bay Packers anyway. The Chicago Bears have started to clean house. Today they dumped general manager Phil Emery and head coach and AIDs patient Marc Trestman.

The former buffoon hired the latter buffoon, plucking him right out of the CFL two seasons ago. We were real impressed with the move at the time.

In the process, Emery passed over Bruce Arians, the now-Arizona Cardinals coach who will probably be winning his second coach of the year award shortly.

The latter buffoon, who totes around the “offensive genius” label, guided the Bears to a 13-19 overall record. That includes a 5-11 finish this year, when his “offensive genius” never quite left the garage and made the drive to Soldier Field.

So do the Bears go into full-on rebuilding mode now? Remember, they fired Lovie Smith before hiring AIDs. Smith was just coming off a 10-6 season, so there was no rebuilding. Just proclamations of Super Bowl glory to come.

Frankly, we don’t give a fuck what the Bears do.

Well, except for one thing. We would really like it if they kept our boy and Packers legend Jay Cutler — Cutty! — around a little bit longer to throw passes to the Green Bay secondary.

About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

5 Comments on "Unfortunately, The Chicago Bears are Cleaning House"

  1. TyKo Steamboat

    Hahahaha.

    I hate listening to the mouth-breathers every preseason.

    4 years ago it was \, “But….but…but we got Brian Urlacher & & & we have an awesome defense & & & he has a barbed-wire tattoo…”

    This season it was, ” But…but…but we have those 2 big bean-pole receivers & & & we’re gonna be really good this year….”

    • Phatgzus

      Funny how it’s never “But…but…but we have a franchise QB who can lead our team and carry us to victory.”

      Da Bares: Glorious Since ’86-that’s gonna be a bumper sticker on my car one day.

      On behalf of all other non-Bare NFC North/Central fans that will ever exist, thank you, Chicago.

  2. knucklehead

    So, I see that you use the “buffoon” label for Trestman and Emery as well.

    Seeing that you enjoy calling Coach McCarthy “buffoon” as well, you must equate their talent levels as equal?

    Or the world wide web (www) wasn’t working when you needed an adjective?

  3. MMTTDCSUCK

    Question to knucklehead. Does one buffoon make up the total in their natural habitat? Or would there be more than one? One might feel that to have a Buffoon, two Buffoons must “get down” to propagate the species, thus rendering the species more than singular in their total . . .

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