The Chicago Bears Have Imploded

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It happens once a year, but the day came a little early this year. I’m not talking about Christmas, although I might as well be. No, it’s that other magical day — the one where the Chicago Bears implode.

The Bears lost 27-14 to the Miami Dolphins on Sunday. At home.

Our main man Cutty! managed only 190 yards passing and also chipped in a pick and two fumbles, but to be fair it was a pretty craptacular effort all around by the Bears. And so, at 3-4 (and 0-3 at home), the Bears’ season is pretty much over.

And what do losers do when they realize they’re losers and no longer have anything more to play for? Why, they point fingers and fight amongst themselves like school children!

Much like the Chicago Bears did after their game on Sunday.

Wah wahhhhhhhhhhh.

What exactly Marshall said is unclear, but we know he ripped both Cutty! and kicker Robbie Gould.

We do, however, know what Long said. He was angry because the team’s shitty fans were booing them after they fell behind 14-0.

“I don’t know if upset is the word I would use,” Long said. “As somebody that is blood, sweat and tears in this locker room like the other guys, the coaches, the trainers, the staff and the equipment guys, to be getting booed at home when you’re walking off the field down two possessions is unacceptable — especially when there is not a lot of noise being made on third down [when Miami had the ball], period.”

Mmmmm… poor baby. Perhaps if your team wasn’t such a piece of shit then your piece of shit fans wouldn’t pause from stuffing sausage in their fat gullets to boo.

Anyway, remember when they were planning that championship parade in Chicago back in July?

Chicago Bears: July Champions!

About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

19 Comments on "The Chicago Bears Have Imploded"

  1. So I guess the bears lost by a missed field goal!? Turnover ratio in the NFL usually determines wins and losses. Cutler = turnover machine. The Pack is fortunate to have Rodgers.

  2. Stupid

    What is best in life? To see your enemies scatter before you, to steal their horses, to hear the lamentations of their women.

  3. icebowl

    “Chicago Bears: July Champions!”
    One of your best Bearz bashings !!!

    Keep up the good work…
    Go Packers

  4. nurseratchett@work

    ah, it is a good day….if only the Lions would start their implosion as well….

    GO PACK GO!!!

  5. billybong

    Its the Lions to worry about…a bogus ref call got them the comeback win yesterday…hopefully they lose in London…

  6. therealChuckywasCecil

    The Lions will wait a few more weeks, bringing their fans to imagine what the post season will feel like, before starting to twist the knife into their hearts with yet, another epic free fall.

    • BZ in BA

      I was thinking the EXACT same thing… (though I would have been very happy for them to have lost yesterday).

  7. disposable hero

    You forgot to mention that Cutty! has another 6 years with SHITCAGO. That was some of the best news of the off season.

    • Kato

      Actually, you are wrong there. The money is only guaranteed through the first three years of the deal. So they can cut him after the 2016 season without any hit to their cap. But still, three years is fun.

  8. RelampagoBlanco

    Trust me, Monday morning sports talk radio here in Chicago is always enjoyable following a Bears loss. A terrible loss like yesterday’s really brought out the anger though. It was great.

      • Old Man At The Gym


        I would like to hear what that dick weed Tom Waddle has to say now. He is always a real Bear blow-hard. I detest those mouthy fans

      • Ivomitonvikingfans

        Absolutely the best radio going during NFL season. Post game with Buffone and O’Bradovich is can’t miss after a Bears loss. The most manic depressive fan base there is.

        • RelampagoBlanco

          I actually lived in a condo next door to O’Bradovich for 2 years during the Super Bowl and 15-1 seasons. We obviously saw plenty of each other between walking through the hallways, parking garage, and me walking the dog. The guy never said a single word to me the entire time i lived there…may have had something to do with all my Packers attire.

    • Kozak

      After a Bears loss I always download the “Doug and OB” show podcast. Hysterical. ” Da Bears are a bunch of Tamata Cans”!

  9. Old Man At The Gym

    Kyle Long said it best really. He said, “Hard to believe we’re getting booed here by fans that are real quiet on 3rd downs when our defense is out on the field.”

    In short he is saying Bears fans suck.

    I like Kyle Long. I wanted to draft him but he went ahead of us because the Bears finish behind us every year. I hope Datone Jones Plays this Sunday night against the ‘Aints

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