Are the Minnesota Vikings awesome? Fuck yeah, they are! Awesome at getting arrested!
In case you forgot, let us refresh you. A league-leading 40 arrests since 2000!
Booyah! The Minnesota Vikings are finally champions! Champions of being dumbass shitbags! Much like their ignorant, Hormel Chili-slurping fans!
Want to know who’s been arrested?
Fuck. Like I have time for that.
Here’s the list anyway.
Adrian Peterson, Jerome Felton, Caleb King, Benny Sapp, Chris Cook, Tyrell Johnson, Rhett Bomar, Chris Cook, Everson Griffen, Everson Griffen (yeah, again), Cedric Griffin, Bryant McKinnie, Darrion Scott, Dwight Smith, Ronyell Whitaker, Cedric Griffin (twice), Travis Taylor, Dwight Smith (twice), Koren Robinson, Daunte Culpepper, Bryant McKinnie (this will be a theme), Fred Smoot, Moe Williams, Marcus Johnson, Bryant McKinnie (yeah, three times), Kevin Williams, Kelly Campbell, E.J. Henderson, Mike Nattiel, Steve Farmer, E.J. Henderson (oh yeah, twice), Kenny Mixon, Kevin Williams (yeah, the cops hauled this fat fuck away twice, too), Mike Nattiel (yeah, twice, and I’ve never heard of this asshole), Bryant McKinnie (told you it was a theme), Kenny Mixon (yeah, again, and who is he?), Randy Moss, Kenny Mixon (Kenny Fuckin’ Mixon again, wooooo!), John Davis and Chris Walsh.
Vikings legends, all of them.
And now here’s something totally unrelated…
Love… exciting and new! Come aboard…