The Chicago Bears Are NFC North Champions

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Jay Cutler

That's right. These assholes are the class of the NFC North.

At least it isn’t the Minnesota Vikings.

The Chicago Bears nailed down the NFC North title Monday night by destroying the aforementioned poor excuse for an NFL franchise, 40-14.

The Bears are 10-4 and can finish no worse than 10-6. If the Green Bay Packers finish with the same record by winning their last two games, the Bears will still win the NFC North by virtue of having a better record within the division.

The Packers’ loss to the Detroit Lions assured that.

The Packers will need to win out in order to make the playoffs.

The Vikings are 5-9.

About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

15 Comments on "The Chicago Bears Are NFC North Champions"

  1. ay hombre

    I predict Mike McCarthy’s fabulous leadership results in the Packers getting lambasted by the Giants. 30-17. Season over and another year to look forward to with a less than average coach.

  2. Madcity Packer Fan

    I think we will win out and make the playoffs. I don’t think McCarthy has done a decent job with what he has had to work with this season. You could say the same about Lovie Smith last season and every is fine with the job he has done because he has more play makers in place to do so this year. We on the other hand do not and that is a fact. You cannot rely on the pass to get you to Dallas and that is all we have right now.

  3. lebowski

    My thoughts exactly, ‘at least it isn’t the Vikings’. We can take solace, no matter what happens with the Pack, in the fact that Favre is going out a broken down loser. Thank you God.

  4. billyschwills

    Fuck the Bears. I hate them as much or more than the Vikings. And fuck everyone at Total Packers who assumes that we dislike the Bears less than we dislike the Vikings. Fuck the Lions. Fuck McCarthy. Fuck yourself in the ass. Matter of fact, Fuck everyone.

    Let’s win these last two and then fuck Lovie in his black, gaping asshole in the playoffs. Fuck Jay Cuntler and his diabetic, arm-twitching, cock-worshiping self. Fuck Julius Peppers and his homosexual name. Fuck Devin Hester and the extra ligament which makes him faster. Fuck Ditka and his cum strainer mustache and shitty steakhouse. Fuck the Bears’ luck this year. A double wide Fuck Yourself to Gale Sayers. A big gigantic “suck my fat beef” to Sweetness himself…FUCK YOU and your weak liver..couldn’t juke that one could ya? Fuck Halas. Fuck Jerry Angelo and his taped-back dick. Fuck Chicago. Fuck the liver spots off of Gregg Olsen’s grandmother’s cunt. And the biggest fuck you to any Wisconsin native who is a Bears Fan.

    I only hope that there can be a remake to the movie Brian’s Song, with the same plot, but this time about Brian Urlacher. Fuck that clown too. Fuck the motherfucking Bears and deeply and deliberately fuck the mothers of every miserable, pissant, cocksucking Bear Fan.

    Let’s go Jets. Let’s Go Packers. We can and will do this. Fuck Eli Manning as well and his perfectly-sculpted male DSLs. And Fuck Tom Coughlin and his translucent old guy skin.

    Two home games to prove that we’ve got the flash AND the smash. It’s go time, boys. Time to separate out the men from the Bears. Let’s channel the greatness of Packer history and make these last two games memorable and then ride the wave into the playoffs. Let’s bring these cocksuckers to Lambeau and show them what it means to play football in Wisconsin in December. The time is now. No more fucking around. Go Pack Go.

    • Kozak

      Fuck Da Bears! The LUCKIEST team in the league. Who else got an opening day win thanks to idiot refs? Who edged the Pack at home on the day the Pack decided to play the worst game of the year with the idiot penalties and got raped by the refs? That got to play the Fish with BOTH the first and second string QB’s out? That time and time again gets flucky scores off of tipped, dropped balls and special teams horseshit? That got to play the Vikes last night outside, without their star runner, receiver O lineman and QB facing that broken old wreck #4? Fuck Da Bears.

    • Buddy

      Cutler beats off to Grandma Porn in the back seat of his Mom’s car and steams up the windows with his mouth breathing.

  5. ay hombre

    Eli Manning called a players only meeting yesterday for the Giants and I believe it will be effective. Word around the campfire is that the players were all fired up and responded to the meeting.

    I anticipate a very pissed off Giants team to have a great week of practice and come in and kick our asses like they did in the NFC title game a few years back. Like Plaxico Burress tore Al Harris up time and time again, MM will make no adjustments during the game and as always it will cost us.

    Furthermore…what aren’t we being told about Aaron Rodgers? Is anyone else suspicious about this very vague manner in which MM keeps saying, “We’ll get into that on Wednesday.” Something is up and I would not be surprised if AR is not ready to go.

    I’ll be completely blunt…a Packer win will shock me and I hope with all my heart I’m wrong and get a massive shock.

  6. iltarion

    I have to give the Bears some credit. Yes, they have been very lucky this year. Their win over us with 18 effin penalties was a joke. However, maybe it was just the ineptness of the V-queens, but the Bears look like a much better team than earlier in the year. They can actually run the ball a little, their offensive line is blocking much better, and effin Cutler is playing abnormally well. So, that being said, the Bears don’t look as effin shitty as I thought they were.

    We have all seen how horrific at time management, challenges, and play calling Lovie Smith can be. So, obviously, coaching isn’t what won the NFC North. The difference is the fact that Chicago is nearly 100% healthy, whereas the Packers are the complete opposite of that.

    Chicago winning the division is actually good for the Packers for two reasons. For one, the last game of the year might not mean a whole lot to the Bears, which might make the game easier for the Pack. Secondly, a wildcard means the Packers would likely play the Bears first, then Atlanta in Atlanta. The NFC North winner on the other hand is likely to face either the Packers or the Giants at home, then go to Philly, then likely to Atlanta or New Orleans. Good luck with that route.

  7. Buddy

    Eli Manning held the meeting to explian how to properly fuck a goat’s ass. The Giants will be too busy screwing farm animals this week and we will beat thier asses.

  8. Nick

    What is this Stop sucking the bears’ nipple. I would get it if it was the Lions. But the bears? What the hell is wrong with you people?

  9. Andy

    Kozak you’re right. They honestly are they just show up on the right time.. against the jets maybe the did something. But there’s no chance in hell they will do anything in the playoffs. I think the packers actually might do good since the way we have been playing for the past two weeks.

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