You know, you’d think this would be one of my assinine, satirical looks at the world of the Green Bay Packers and their sworn enemy, the Minnesota Vikings. Unfortunately, this is a completely true story.
Detainees at an Iraqi prison camp staffed by members of the Wisconsin National Guard are using Brett Favre to demoralize our soldiers.
Brett Favre is a lot of things – traitor, douchebag, megalomaniac – but we didn’t think he was an adversary to the fine men and women serving overseas. Then again, that totally makes sense.
Apparently, like any freedom-loving U.S. citizen with football intelligence, members of the Guard’s 32nd Brigade decorated their camp with Packers paraphernalia. And then the detainees started using it against them.
“[The detainees] obviously then started up the conversations, and started talking about Brett Favre. They soon learned about Favre going to the Vikings, and things just started going downhill from there,” said First Lieutenant Tim Boehnen, who is from New Richmond, Wis.
“They’ll hear guards talking about it, and then they pick up a lot of stuff from that, too. They’re very crafty. They learn different stuff from different ways.”
Armed with this information, detainees used it to psychologically torture our troops.
Fortunately, there are lessons that can be learned from this deplorable situation.
1. Not only does Brett Favre not support our troops, but he is secretly a tool of terrorists and insurgents. Brett Favre should be shunned and probably imprisoned for war crimes.
2. We also now know the only difference between a Minnesota Vikings fan and a terrorist is that a terrorist is well read.