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Posts tagged Minnesota Vikings

Newsflash: Bernard Berrian Likes Hot, Naked Broads

Thought I would bring you this one before the Green Bay Packers whip the Detroit Lions ass today. It seems that Minnesota Vikings’ receiver Bernard Berrian likes hot, naked broads. I know, that’s a stretch. First of all, there aren’t any hot broads in Minnesota. Second of all, he’s a Minnesota Vikings’ player and he […]

Rollin’ Out The Red Carpet For Brett Favre

On November 1st, the city of Green Bay will be rolling out the red carpet for a Viking. That’s right, Mayor Jim Schmitt is hell-bent on welcoming Brett Favre with open arms.

Brett Favre – Open Mouth, Insert Foot

Remember who Brett Favre’s best team is? Nope, it isn’t the 1996 Super Bowl Champion Green Bay Packers that featured Reggie White, Keith Jackson, Antonio Freeman, Sean Jones, LeRoy Butler, etc., etc. It’s this year’s version of the Minnesota Vikings – at least that’s what he told us earlier this week. Not surprisingly, there were […]

Favre Goat Woman Found Guilty

Straight out of the Truth is Stranger Than Fiction Files comes this: a woman who was transporting a purple, spray-painted goat with Brett Favre’s number 4 shaved into it was found guilty on Tuesday. The goat was tied up in the trunk of her car. Guilty of stupidity. Actually, as part of plea deal, 21-year-old […]

Packers Should Work Out Newly-Released Booty

In another brilliant move by Vikings coach Brad “Chilly” Childress, Minnesota released QB John David Booty from its practice squad on Wednesday and signed offensive tackle Clint Oldenburg, a Colorado State alum who played most recently for the Broncos. The move comes as somewhat of a surprise, given that the Vikings had gotten Booty through […]

2009 Vikings: Favre’s Best Team Ever

Brett Favre

During media comments following the Minnesota Vikings’ 38-10 drubbing of the St. Louis Rams on Sunday, quarterback Brett Favre made some waves by saying the team was the best he’s ever played on. “I think, physically and from a talent level, this is the best team I’ve ever been on,” Favre said. But Favre didn’t […]

Packers Are About to Get Healthy

I’m not talking about the injuries that have plagued the Green Bay Packers thus far, although the return of safety Atari Bigby and left tackle Chad Clifton to the staring lineup can only help, I’m talking about the schedule. The Packers are about to go into what is shaping up as the easiest portion of […]

Don’t F*ck With Packers Fans

Or we’ll fucking stab you. It really was inevitable, I guess. Idiot fans of other NFL teams not named the Green Bay Packers like to talk shit. They like to talk shit when the Packers lose, because, among other things, the knowledge of a Packers fans greatly surpasses their own. They like to talk shit […]

Jared Allen: Even Bigger Douche Than We Thought

Yeah, we know. Jared Allen can play football. He can also take douchebaggery to new heights, and he’s done it once again. We know about the mullet, we know about the red-neckery, we know about the nonsense that comes out of his mouth on a regular basis. In fact, we detailed this in our first […]

Clay Matthews Starting to Make His Mark

Clay Matthews

A bright spot in the otherwise dreary news coming out of Green Bay following the Packers’ Monday night loss at Minnesota is rookie linebacker Clay Matthews, who stripped Vikings’ running back Adrian Peterson late in the second quarter and ran the ball back for a 42-yard, game-tying touchdown – his first NFL score. Matthews also […]

Vikings Art Football Celebrates Favre’s Packers Accomplishments

The rich and storied history of the Minnesota Vikings. Apparently.

See Vikings fans, now that you have our old gunslinger wearing your hideous uniform, you might as well co-opt all the past success Green Bay had with him too.

Penalties, Sacks and Turnovers Key to Packers Loss

About the only thing the Green Bay Packers did right in their ugly 30-23 loss to the Vikings in the MetroBarn last night was hold Adrian Peterson to 55 yards rushing. Peterson did score once, but was held to an average of just 2.2 yards per rush, which is no small feat considering he’s racked […]

Packers Vikings Live Blog

“It’s sweet but it had nothing to do with revenge…” more bullshit from the Favre. ___ And there you go. Final score 30-23 Vikings. ___ Rice recovers the onside kick. That should do it. ___ Crosby field goal is good. 30-23 Vikings. ___ Rodgers comes up short. Field goal unit comes out onto the field. […]

Packers vs. Vikings Playlist

I’m frothing at the mouth. My hands are shaking. The first shitbag Minnesota Vikings fan that looks at me cockeyed is going get a beer bottle busted across their face. It’s two hours until game time and I need something to dull my passion, rage, fire, nerves… Or I need something to fuel those things […]

Predictions: Packers vs. Vikings

Brett Favre

Total Packers takes a look at tonight’s Green Bay Packers, Minnesota Vikings game and offers their predictions. Monty: The real question is how much emotion will play into this contest. The first team, or perhaps even the first player, who lets emotion dictate their actions is going to be in trouble. Still, how can emotion […]

Dammit, I’m Starting to Like This Aaron Rodgers Guy

The headline of this recent Star Tribune story really says it all when it comes to the other quarterback playing in Monday night’s Green Bay Packers-Minnesota Vikings contest: “Rodgers shouts with silence.” Amid all the bullshitting, finger pointing, chest thumping and other pissing matches on display this week in preparation for Vikings’ QB Brett Favre’s […]

Typical Minnesota Vikings Fan

Putting the letters A, I, N and T in the word brilliant!

The Greatest Play in Packers vs. Vikings History

This should come as no surprise to anyone who’s seen the play, but we’re going to go out on a limb here and call Antonio Freeman’s miraculous Monday Night Football catch and run the greatest play in the history of the Green Bay Packers, Minnesota Vikings rivalry. The touchdown itself was a 46-yarder, but it […]

Brad Childress – Too Good to Be True!

It’s no secret that we like to make fun of certain things and people here at Total Packers. Two of the things that get our panties wet is when the Minnesota Vikings screw up and when Vikings’ coach Brad Childress says something stupid, which, now that we think of it, is pretty much every time […]

It’s Favreday!

And why not? The hype machine is spinning out of control, and we’re having trouble keeping up with it, so we thought we’d rename Friday, Favreday just to catch you up. So what Favrelous things have transpired, you say? Well, some pretty interesting things related to the Green Bay Packers’ and Minnesota Vikings’ Monday Night […]