Posts tagged Minnesota Vikings

Update: Everyone In Minnesota Is Delusional

Visanthe Shiancoe

I’m sure you remember Minnesota Senator Amy Klobuchar, who had to pass the U.S. Senate resolution honoring the Green Bay Packers, and then had the gall to say the Minnesota Vikings will win it in 2012.

I mean, if there was ever a Senator with her head up her ass…

Well, apparently such delusions extend to Minnesota Vikings players, as well.

James Jones Could Be In Demand In Free Agency

James Jones

Green Bay Packers receiver James Jones is likely to have some suitors once free agency begins, providing the new collective bargaining agreement allows him to become a free agent as expected.

Jones’ name has already been mentioned in Cleveland, where the Browns have one of the worst receiving corps in the league.

Minnesota Senator Forced To Pass Packers Resolution, Still Delusional

Minnesota Senator Amy Klobuchar, a die-hard Minnesota Vikings fan (and therefore, loser), was forced to pass a resolution honoring the Green Bay Packers for winning the Super Bowl.

Klobuchar was in charge of wrapping up the Senate’s outstanding business Friday and had to read the resolution, which passed with unanimous consent.

Everson Griffen Has Learned The Minnesota Vikings Way

Everson Griffen

In just one season on the team, defensive end Everson Griffen has learned the Minnesota Vikings way. That is, be a complete embarrassment to yourself and the NFL like so many great Minnesota Vikings before you. Represent the Minnesota Vikings like they deserve to be represented. Conjure memories of idiots like Favre, McKinnie, Culpepper and […]

Packers Want Favre Back In The Family

Brett Favre

I’m not really sure how this sits with me, but we all knew it was inevitable. Green Bay Packers president Mark Murphy said the organization is saving a spot for Brett Favre. Although it isn’t likely to happen tomorrow, the Packers are going to kiss and make up with Favre eventually. “Yeah, at the appropriate […]

Viking Frank Walker Wants To Recruit You… For Porn

Minnesota Vikings cornerback Frank Walker wants to get you involved in porn. That is, if you’re a hot chick. Walker sent this Tweet out last week. “New porn site coming soon and my boy is looking for females. Paying like 200 to 700 per hour.” Of course, as is Twitter protocol, when someone well known […]

Brett Favre: What Should I Do?

It’s a knock-off of LeBron’s “What Should I Do?” Nike commercial. It’s a parody based on Brett Favre and his penis. It’s hilarious. (Via Guyism)

Favre Allegedly Tried To Bag A Masseuse While With The Vikings

Brett Favre

Brett Favre likes to bang just about anything that isn’t his wife. Or maybe his wife just doesn’t like to bang him. Whatever the case, there’s another masseuse claiming Favre tried to get with her. Stephanie Dusenberry, who formerly worked for the Minnesota Vikings and now works independently with several Vikings’ players, claims Favre texted […]

Dom Capers Isn’t Going Anywhere

Dom Capers

Perhaps lost in the hype surrounding the Green Bay Packers’ matchup with the Chicago Bears for the NFC Championship is this important nugget — Packers defensive coordinator isn’t going anywhere. There was talk towards the end of the season Capers should be and could be considered for an NFL head coaching job because of the […]

Brett Favre Must Really Be Retiring Because He’s Hawking Collectibles

We didn’t pay much attention when former Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre filed his retirement papers, this morning. So what? We thought. It’s not that we think Favre will change his mind and come back sometime next August. It’s just that after getting beat around, both on the field and in his private life, while […]

Adrian Peterson And His Girl Bladder Will Not Save Your Job

Adrian Peterson

Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson has a tiny, girl bladder and like all Minnesota Vikings, a cold, cold heart. Apparently, Peterson and his little girl bladder had to piss so badly he stood outside a McDonald’s drive-thru at 3 a.m. and asked to be let into the store. The assistant manager, who was working […]

Favre Sued For Sexual Harassment

This one came out of left field. Now-presumably-retired Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre is being sued for sexual harassment, but not by Jenn Sterger. Favre was hit with the lawsuit by Christina Scavo and Shannon O’Toole, who massage therapists who formerly worked for the New York Jets. The suit, which was filed in the New […]

Sterger’s Lawyer: Favre Got Preferential Treatment

Brett Favre

We’ve been surmising the NFL wouldn’t do anything to Brett Favre in relation to his behavior towards Jenn Sterger. Today, they more or less did just that, deciding to only fine Favre for not being cooperative during the league’s investigation into his conduct. Not surprisingly, Sterger isn’t too happy. Her lawyer, Joseph Conway, released the […]

Favre Fined For Sterger Incident

Jenn Sterger

Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre was fined, but not suspended for his role in the Jenn Sterger incident, a story first reported by Jay Glazer. Surprisingly, the fine isn’t for violating any NFL policies. Michael David Smith has confirmed Favre has been fined $50,000 for not cooperating with the investigation, which took nearly three months. […]

Brett Favre Likes Masturbation Videos

That’s right people. Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre likes masturbation videos. That is, if you believe Jenn Sterger. Someone “close to the NFL investigation” says Sterger claims Favre asked her to send him a video of her masturbating. Really, who can blame the guy? Well, he’s married, so a lot of people. But the point […]

Adrian Peterson Is M.I.A.

Brett Favre action figures

Okay, so I couldn’t possibly stand writing another Brett Favre headline, so that’s why you’re getting this one on Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson. This made me laugh heartily, so I think I’ll just let it speak for itself. How do you think that played out? I bet when they consulted Favre on making […]

Favre Still Has It Out For The Packers

Remember when beating the Green Bay Packers wasn’t about revenge for Brett Favre? We totally believed him. Anyway, we thought he got the revenge he didn’t want last season when his Minnesota Vikings beat the Packers twice. Apparently, that wasn’t enough. Maybe his butt hurts because the Packers destroyed his poor-ass excuse for a team […]

Someone Needs To Put Brett Favre And The Vikings Down

Brett Favre

Can someone send an S.O.S. to Minnesota Vikings coach Leslie Frazier and his staff? A telegraph of sorts on behalf of the grizzled grandpa himself, Brett Favre? Something like this: Leslie, Your old-ass quarterback has done broked himself again. Really bad, this time. He can’t think straight, and that robotic arm you implanted in him […]

The Chicago Bears Are NFC North Champions

Jay Cutler

At least it isn’t the Minnesota Vikings. The Chicago Bears nailed down the NFC North title Monday night by destroying the aforementioned poor excuse for an NFL franchise, 40-14. The Bears are 10-4 and can finish no worse than 10-6. If the Green Bay Packers finish with the same record by winning their last two […]

We Hardly Knew Ye, TJack

Tarvaris Jackson

Over in Minnesota, things continue to get worse for the Vikings, which normally would be great. That’s not the case, at the moment, however. In addition to the giant hole in the roof of their shitty stadium and concerns surrounding the availability of TCF Bank Stadium, where the Vikings are trying to host their Monday […]