Posts tagged Minnesota Vikings

Vikings’ Cook Will Miss Packers Game Because He’s In Jail

Chris Cook

Cornerback Chris Cook is the perfect representative of the Minnesota Vikings organization. He’ll miss this weekend’s game with the Green Bay Packers because he’s in jail for strangling someone.

Five Questions With Purple Jesus Diaries

Vikings cheerleaders

The Green Bay Packers play the Minnesota Vikings this week and since we already know what’s going to happen, we asked some cunts from Minnesota their ignorant opinions. Here’s what they had to say.

Vikings Aren’t Giving Up… Yet

Christian Ponder

The Minnesota Vikings aren’t giving up on their season, according to coach Leslie Frazier. That’s too bad, because they should.

Bernard Berrian Tells Amputee To Sit Down And Shut Up

The Minnesota Vikings are 0-4 and the wheels are falling off their season. Receiver Bernard Berrian still managed to make things worse with his off-field antics, though. You stay classy, Minnesota!

Brett Favre’s Broadcasting Debut [Video]

Brett Favre broadcasting debut

Former Green Bay Packers and Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre made his broadcasting debut on Saturday. Here’s what we learned, along with video.

Now They Start Speculating About Donovan McNabb’s Job

Donovan McNabb

They don’t think too much of Donovan McNabb’s performance at quarterback in Minnesota. The question is how much longer can he hold onto his job?

Vikings Fan Runs His Mouth, Gets What He Deserves

This just makes us warm and tingly all over. Here’s video of a typical Minnesota Vikings fan running his mouth about how great his team is and how terrible every other team is. Fortunately, a San Diego Charger fan is there to give him what he deserves.

Donovan McNabb: Awful

Donovan McNabb and Philip Rivers

The Donovan McNabb era, which will probably be short lived, started with a thud in Minnesota. McNabb was awful against the San Diego Chargers.

League Experts: Packers Are No. 1

Mike McCarthy

The NFL’s analysts/experts have picked the Green Bay Packers as the top team in the NFL. Normally, we’d ignore such nonsense, but this is a little different. Hit the story to see why.

Packers Are League’s Second Youngest Team

Vic So

The Green Bay Packers are the NFL’s second-young team, which has become a trend in the Ted Thompson era. Here’s why, as well as a look at the rest of the NFC North.

The Onion: Minnesota Vikings Do Little To Upgrade Fans

Vikings fans

Here at Total Packers we know Minnesota Vikings fans are the worst thing about the NFL. The Onion apparently agrees. Check it out.

Brett Favre: Everybody Hates Me

Brett Favre

Everybody hates Brett Favre. That much he knows. If he were to play again, it’s also the only reason he’d do so. But that probably isn’t going to happen.

Chilly! Discusses Randy Moss Vomit Incident

Brad Childress

Former Minnesota Vikings coach and pedophile Brad Childress doesn’t think too much of Randy Moss. Childress decided to take a public shot at Moss today. Real mature.

Vikings Robison Glad Packers Won Super Bowl

Brian Robison

Minnesota Vikings defensive end Brian Robison, who’s spent four years as a backup, says he’s glad the Green Bay Packers won the Super Bowl last year. Why? Because the Vikings are going to handle the Super Bowl champs this year… hahahahahahaha!

Packers Atop ESPN Power Rankings

Eagles fan

The Green Bay Packers sit atop ESPN’s preseason power rankings, which is very important because that team always goes on to win the Super Bowl. Check out where the rest of the losers in the NFC North came in.

NFC North: Lions’ Big Loss, Bears Still Idiots, Busted In Minnesota

Mikel Leshoure

You’ve got to love the NFC North. Outside of Green Bay, it’s populated with a bunch of idiots. The Chicago Bears are run by idiots. Minnesota Vikings players can’t stop getting arrested. In Detroit, they may not be stupid, but we’ll bet the hype died down a little bit today.

Are Packers Oblivious To The Threat Growing in Minnesota?

Michael Jenkins

We wanted to kill ourselves… wait… no. We’ve found the most brilliant article in the Bleacher Report catalog, which is a gigantic piece of brilliance itself, and it turns out it’s written by a Minnesota Vikings fan. We’ll annotate it for you, since it’s obviously way above any Green Bay Packers fan.

NFC North: Free Agents, New Starters And Other Nonsense

Jay Cutler

The three teams competing for second place in the NFC North have been working real hard to take home that trophy this offseason. Here are the latest developments from Chicago, Minnesota and Detroit.

Clusterfuck Update 7/28: Free Agent Deals, Eagles Get Stronger

Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie

Ah, free agency, what an exhausting wench you are. Today, we’ve got three major trades completed, including the one that makes the Eagles the second-best team in the NFC and the Redskins making their usual stupid moves by overpaying some guy who won’t amount to shit.

Colledge Gone; Jenkins, Jones Likely To Follow

James Jones

The Green Bay Packers lost left guard Daryn Colledge today and defensive end Cullen Jenkins and receiver James Jones will likely be off the market before the day is over.