Posts tagged Jay Cutler

Jay Cutler’s Knee Fantastic, Vagina Still Hurts

Jay Cutler

We’re glad to know the get well card we sent to Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler after he stood around with a dumb look on his face for the second half of the NFC Championship game paid off. Cutler, who “sprained his knee” at the beginning of the third quarter, is back to playing football now that nothing at all is on the line.

Jay Cutler: A Joke Even To Politicians

Jay Cutler

We figure most politicians are humorless pricks, but apparently even they get the Jay Cutler joke. That is, that Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler is a joke. It started on Monday when Wisconsin Rep. Paul Ryan, a Republican from Janesville, opened his speech at the Economic Forum in Chicago with these words.

Cutler, Cavallari Will One Day Produce No-Talent Offspring

Jay Cutler

Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler is the biggest mouth breather on the face of the planet. He’s also a quitter, but that’s not important here. Reality star Kristen Cavallari, of Laguna Beach “fame,” has no discernible talent and dumbs down every room she’s in. So really, it’s perfect that the pair, who’ve been dating since last fall, got engaged over the weekend.

You’re Hurting Jay Cutler’s Feelings!

Jay Cutler

The Chicago Bears main mouth breather, Jay Cutler, is finally talking. Cutler hasn’t spoken publicly since the Bears lost to the Green Bay Packers in the NFC Championship game, while everyone with any sense questioned his toughness for not playing the second half of the game.

Lovie Smith: Still An Idiot

Lovie Smith

After Chicago Bears coach Lovie Smith led his team to the NFC North title and NFC Championship game last season, I began to develop some respect for him. Since then, he’s done nothing but prove my initial feeling about him correct. He’s a complete idiot.

Would The Real Jay Cutler Please Stand Up?

Jay Cutler

I’m not clever enough to write an entire article referencing Eminem’s popular song in witty sorts of ways, nor would I want any of you to think I’m a fan of his. So, the analogies cease here and onto the real question: does anyone else find it hilarious that Jay Cutler’s namesake is this meathead? […]

Now Naked Guys Are Cursing Jay Cutler Before Getting Arrested

Jay Cutler

The king of the mouth breathers and Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler can’t catch a break.

I guess that’s what happens when you give up during the NFC Championship game, spend the second half standing around on the sidelines looking stupid and then don’t say peep while everyone and his brother is trashing you in the media during the offseason.

Get It Straight: Jay Cutler Is Awesome!

Jay Cutler

Another day, another jerkoff defending Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler. This time it’s Bears offensive coordinator Mike Martz. Martz is here to remind us Cutler is tough and tell us he’s going to be an elite quarterback. You know, the same Jay Cutler that decided not to play the second half of the NFC Championship […]

Lovie Smith Gets His Extension, Talks Up Cutler

Lovie Smith

The Chicago Bears have given coach Lovie Smith a two-year contract extension.

Smith, who was entering the final year of a four-year contract, made $5.5 million under his old deal, making him one of the highest-paid coaches in the NFL. Assuming he didn’t take a pay cut, Smith makes slightly more than Green Bay Packers coach Mike McCarthy, who recently signed an extension paying him an average of $5 million a year.

Quitler

Remember when Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler quit on his team during the second half of the NFC Championship game against the Green Bay Packers because his vagina hurt?

In case you forgot about it, I thought now would be as good a time as any to remind you.

Vomit-Inducing News Of The Day: Jay Cutler Getting Engaged

Jay Cutler

The more I think about it, the more this makes sense.

A no-talent quarterback is getting engaged to a no-talent reality star.

That’s right, mouth-breather extraordinaire and all-around vagina, Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler is getting engaged.

Jay Cutler Is Weak And Everyone Knows It

Jay Cutler

How does your starting quarterback not finish the NFC Championship game? Ask the Chicago Bears. Jay Cutler left the NFC Championship game in the third quarter with what turned out to be a sprained MCL. He then stood and watched the rest of the game from the sideline. You’d think they would have had to […]

An Uprising Of Support From Broncos Country

Jay Cutler

Face it. No one likes the Chicago Bears except for FIBs and maybe two people in Iowa. The point was once again reinforced when Steffen, the other mastermind behind this venerable institution known as Total Packers, asked one of our friends, and one of biggest Denver Broncos fans on the planet, to ask his brethren […]

The Most Interesting Man In Chicago

Jay Cutler -- Most Interesting Man in Chicago

Ah, gotta be Chicago Bears quarterback and legendary mouth breather Jay Cutler, who helped usher the Green Bay Packers into the playoffs with much fanfare this past weekend by tossing two interceptions. Oh, I should have noted where he threw those two interceptions. Thanks to Mike for passing this on.

The Honeymoon Is Over… Again

The honeymoon between quarterback Jay Cutler and the Chicago Bears… or at least Chicago Bears fans and the Chicago media, didn’t last long. The guy who was supposed to take the Bears to the promised land (preseason, 2009), quickly became the guy who was being booed off the field (regular season, 2009) on his way […]

DeAngelo Hall Thinks Jay Cutler Is An Idiot, So Do We

If any of you watched the turd laid by the Chicago Bears, particularly on offense, in their loss to the Washington Redskins, last Sunday, then you deserve an apology. Actually, you deserve an apology from the NFL for even putting crap like that on TV. Both teams are terrible offensively. Most of all, the guy […]

This About Sums It Up

The following video sums up what most of us were feeling as the Green Bay Packers fell to the Chicago Bears, Monday night. The agony and the ecstasy may be an appropriate title, although switching it around is probably more accurate. I can’t really see what was going on in the game, but my guess […]

Jay Cutler Or Aaron Rodgers?

We wouldn’t expect an unbiased answer from anyone here if they were asked to pick between Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers and Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler. It’s a different case when you ask several NFL analysts, which the Chicago Sun Times Sean Jensen did. Out of 10 analysts polled, eight chose Rodgers. Two […]

Predictons: Packers vs. Bears

Steffen: It’s hard for me to say this, but I think Packer nation just has to accept it — the Chicago Bears are better than they were last year. They are a different, more confident team. They are playing faster on a defense that features a refurbished Brian Urlacher and the freakish abilities of Julius […]

Remember When The Packers/Bears Rivalry Was Cool?

Jim McMahon

This is a different NFL than the NFL of the 1960s or even the 1980s, for that matter. In those days, the Green Bay Packers and Chicago Bears generally disliked each other. Today, members of the two teams in the NFL’s most storied rivalry like to slobber all over each other. Case in point: the […]