Posts tagged Chicago Bears
Jay Cutler’s Knee Fantastic, Vagina Still Hurts
Jun 15th
We’re glad to know the get well card we sent to Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler after he stood around with a dumb look on his face for the second half of the NFC Championship game paid off. Cutler, who “sprained his knee” at the beginning of the third quarter, is back to playing football now that nothing at all is on the line.
NFL Has No Scheduling Plan For Shortened Season
Jun 7th
After we wrote about the NFL planning for an eight-game season, someone asked me if I knew how the league would handle the schedule. If the labor dispute costs the NFL any amount of games, the league will have to adjust the schedule in some fashion. The most obvious potential solution is to simply keep [...]
Fox Sports Ranks Packers No. 1 NFL Organization
Jun 2nd
Fox Sports’ Adam Schein compiled his third annual NFL organization rankings and not surprisingly, the Green Bay Packers came out on top, dethroning two-time winner, the New England Patriots. What does this mean? Probably not much, other than the Packers rate highly in several subjective categories. While the categories used to determine the rankings — [...]
Bowen: Finley Key To Beating Bears
Jun 2nd
We all know Green Bay Packers tight Jermichael Finley is an impact player. We also know adding him to an already-potent offense could make the Packers almost unstoppable in 2011, but the National Football Post’s Matt Bowen says Finley is the key to beating the Chicago Bears. The Packers had significant trouble with the Bears last season.
20 Questions With Ashlynn Brooke
May 27th
We’ve got a sexy little treat for you this fine Friday morning — one of our favorite Green Bay Packers fans, Ashlynn Brooke. If you’re unfamiliar with Ashlynn or her work, get over to Google or just click the link above to check out her site. I will warn you, it’s decidedly unsafe for both [...]
Packers Might Have Super Bowl Hangover
May 26th
This probably wasn’t the best offseason for a lockout, at least as far as the Green Bay Packers organization is concerned. Every team coming off a Super Bowl win experiences some sort of hangover. The players are partying, making personal appearances, getting their faces in the media and partaking in all kinds of stupid promotional and [...]
Connecting The Dots: Chicago Bears Receivers
May 23rd
One of the problems the Chicago Bears have had in the Jay Cutler era, other than a terrible offensive line, is the lack of a top-flight, go-to receiver. It’s one of the reasons they’re the second-best team in the NFC North, despite what last year’s regular-season record and Brian Urlacher’s pea brain say.
And Now We’re Saving Chicago Bears Fans’ Lives
May 22nd
Why are Green Bay Packers fans the best in the NFL? Because of shit like this. Suffering from Hepatitis C, the 55-year-old Chicago resident would have died had he not received a liver transplant at the University of Wisconsin Hospital in Madison on March 14, 2010. [Peter] Cashman later discovered that the donor was Amy [...]
Jay Cutler: A Joke Even To Politicians
May 18th
We figure most politicians are humorless pricks, but apparently even they get the Jay Cutler joke. That is, that Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler is a joke. It started on Monday when Wisconsin Rep. Paul Ryan, a Republican from Janesville, opened his speech at the Economic Forum in Chicago with these words.
Urlacher: Bears Are Best In NFC
May 17th
We knew Chicago Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher was a meathead, but he might be dumber than we thought. He clearly doesn’t understand how the NFL playoffs work. Otherwise, how could he say something this stupid?
What Pre-Draft Visits Mean For Packers
May 8th
By the look of it, pre-draft visits mean absolutely nothing for the Green Bay Packers. The Packers brought around 20 players in for pre-draft visits, although that number could be more, since the team isn’t required to report them. They also worked out a few players at other sites. In all, each organization is allowed [...]
Jerry Angelo Makes Chicago Bears A Joke On Draft Day Again
May 3rd
It’s taken me a while to get to this, but now it’s time to lay into the joke in the NFC North not named the Minnesota Vikings — the Chicago Bears. Actually, it’s not the Bears whole organization that’s a joke, it’s general manager Jerry Angelo, which should come as a surprise to no one. If you watched the first round of the 2011 NFL Draft, you saw Angelo’s ineptitude in action, although you probably couldn’t tell what was really going on.
Cutler, Cavallari Will One Day Produce No-Talent Offspring
Apr 26th
Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler is the biggest mouth breather on the face of the planet. He’s also a quitter, but that’s not important here. Reality star Kristen Cavallari, of Laguna Beach “fame,” has no discernible talent and dumbs down every room she’s in. So really, it’s perfect that the pair, who’ve been dating since last fall, got engaged over the weekend.
Detroit Lions Now Relevant
Apr 20th
We warned you this day was coming. The Detroit Lions, long the bottom feeder of the NFL, are suddenly relevant. No, it isn’t because they reeled off four victories to close the season. It isn’t because they have Pro Bowlers like Calvin Johnson and Ndamukong Suh.
You’re Hurting Jay Cutler’s Feelings!
Apr 11th
The Chicago Bears main mouth breather, Jay Cutler, is finally talking. Cutler hasn’t spoken publicly since the Bears lost to the Green Bay Packers in the NFC Championship game, while everyone with any sense questioned his toughness for not playing the second half of the game.
Illinois Governor Hasn’t Paid NFC Championship Bet
Apr 10th
It won’t surprise anyone a politician is full of shit. Illinois governor Pat Quinn made a bet with Wisconsin governor Scott Walker over the Green Bay Packers NFC Championship tilt with the Chicago Bears. The loser of the bet agreed to work at a food pantry in the winner’s state wearing the opposing team’s gear. [...]
Bears Will Target Cullen Jenkins
Apr 6th
The Chicago Bears will target Green Bay Packers defensive end Cullen Jenkins whenever free agency begins, according to John Mullin of CSN Chicago. The Bears are looking to improve their defensive line and after re-signing defensive tackle Anthony Adams, Jenkins will be the team’s second priority.
Packers’ Five-Year Draft Run Best In NFL
Apr 4th
The Green Bay Packers have the best draft run over the past five years, according to Matt Maiocco of Comcast Sportsnet. The team still has 57 percent of the players they’ve chosen on their roster (27 out of 47) — only five teams have more. The rankings also consider how many star players, busts and how [...]
In Chicago, It’s A Good Idea To Let Devin Hester Be A Writer
Mar 31st
Man, I don’t even know where to begin. As someone who can actually string a comprehensible sentence together, I’m offended. There’s a magazine called Chicago Parent and someone there decided it would be a good idea to give Chicago Bears returner Devin Hester a column in said magazine. Hester’s first column just came out and… [...]
Create Your Own Chicago Bears License Plate!
Mar 29th
The gods have smiled on us today, friends! The state of Illinois has introduced Chicago Bears license plates so people from Illinois can be even more obnoxious and look even dumber while they’re trashing the fine state of Wisconsin this summer. That’s not the great part, though. The great part is, you can go online [...]