Posts tagged Chicago Bears
After 10,001 Simulations, Packers Make the Playoffs
Nov 5th
From the Take From This What You Will Department… After 10,001 simulations run on the remainder of the NFL schedule, the Green Bay Packers make the playoffs at 10-6. That is, if you believe What If Sports, which runs said simulations based on some sort of mumbo jumbo that isn’t terribly clear. From what I [...]
Bears Trade for DE Gaines Adams
Oct 17th
The Chicago Bears drew first blood against the Green Bay Packers in the trade market Friday, trading for Tampa Bay Buccaneers defensive end Gaines Adams. Adams was the fourth overall selection in the 2007 NFL Draft out of Clemson, but he has been an underachiever for the Bucs. The Bears sent a 2010 second-round pick [...]
Trade Rumors Around the NFC North
Oct 15th
The NFL trade deadline is Tuesday, and while there are very few in-season trades made in the NFL, that doesn’t stop people from speculating about what could or should happen. The Green Bay Packers have been linked to several names, but more on that in a moment. The most persistent rumor revolving around any NFC [...]
Taking a Time Out for Some Chicago Bears Delusion
Sep 30th
I about crapped right in my pants when I read this headline from the Chicago Tribune. You ready for this? “Is Jay Cutler the second coming of Tom Brady?” That’s a real headline. Seriously. My sides hurt from laughing. Anyway, in this brilliant article Rick Morrissey deftly explains why Cutler, the Chicago Bears savior, may [...]
Jay Cutler – Drunk, Stoned, or Just Dumb?
Sep 22nd
By now, I’m sure you’ve caught the replay of Jay Cutler getting his helmet knocked off by the referee on Sunday. You know, the one where Cutler is seemingly oblivious to the guy standing right in front of him waving his arms. We mentioned before how Cutler always seems to look drunk, and this only [...]
The Packers Defensive Resurgence Begins On The Line And A Few Other Notes
Sep 16th
No, it wasn’t lost on us. We pointed out how well the Green Bay Packers defense played in week one both during the game and in the aftermath. That, however, has been somewhat lost in the blather surrounding the terrible performance of the Packers offensive line. It should be noted, though, both Cullen Jenkins and [...]
Final Notes On The Packers vs. Bears
Sep 14th
The Green Bay Packers escaped Lambeau Field with a 21-15 victory over the Chicago Bears last night. I say escaped because despite a rousing performance by the Packers’ defense, which forced Bears’ quarterback Jay Cutler into four interceptions and held Matt Forte to just 55 yards rushing, the team was lucky to come out with [...]
Packers Bears Live Blog
Sep 13th
Big time play by a big time player: Al Harris to close it out! Packers 21-15. ———- My stupid friends who are Bears fans just texted me before that play to Jennings. Idiots! mwahahahahahaha! ———- I apologize, that would be Aaron Rodger’s third fourth quarter comeback. The first two were against the Lions, which really [...]
An Ode To Charles Martin
Sep 10th
Well, the shit talking has started in earnest. I’ve been hearing drivel come out of the mouths of Chicago Bears’ fans for two days now – not that it’s anything different than what normally comes out of their mouths, but now they are directing it towards me and my beloved Green Bay Packers. I usually [...]
NFC North Preview
Sep 9th
Yesterday, I wrote about how the NFC North is shaping up as the strongest division in football, which says one thing: this division will be both tough and competitive. Any one of three teams has a legitimate opportunity to win the NFC North. In addition to the Green Bay Packers, the Chicago Bears and Minnesota [...]
NFC North: Best in the NFL and Other Packers Odd and Ends
Sep 8th
Certainly this is open for debate, but several people have mentioned the NFC North as the potential powerhouse division in football this season. That would be a big jump for a division that produced the first 0-16 team in NFL history, a 6-10 Green Bay Packers team with a sieve-like defense, a mediocre version of [...]
The Packers: A Few Laughs to Get You Through the Week
Sep 2nd
We here at Total Packers like to have a laugh. We REALLY like to have a laugh at the expense of people from Minnesota or Illinois, but we also like to laugh at ourselves, because hey, there’s a lot about Green Bay to laugh about. So today, we thought we’d fire up a few things [...]
Driver Happy, Kampman Speaks, Bears Still Suck
Jun 4th
Today’s word on your Green Bay Packers is just that. Wide receiver Donald Driver has shown up at the Packers OTAs and was on the practice field for the first time yesterday. Driver admitted he is in contract discussions with the Packers, but his absence has been due to non-football-related matters, specifically, a relative of [...]
Packers 2009 Schedule Released
Apr 14th
Update Here is the full schedule (times CT): Preseason Aug. 15 – Cleveland Browns (7 p.m.) Aug. 22 – Buffalo Bills (7 p.m.) Aug. 28 – @ Arizona Cardinals (9 p.m.) Sept. 3 – @ Tennessee Titans (7 p.m.) Regular Season Sept. 13 – Chicago Bears, (7:20 p.m.)* Sept. 20 – Cincinnati Bengals (Noon) Sept. [...]
The Bears Still Suck, But…
Apr 9th
Yes, the Chicago Bears still suck, even after their much-hyped acquisition of quarterback Jay Cutler. However, it looks as if the Bears are doing their best to change this phenomenon (sucking) that has grasped their organization since its inception. Even though the Bears nabbed Cutler from the Denver Broncos last week, and have a potential [...]
Lovie Gets A New Toy: How Bernard Pollard Screwed The Packers
Apr 2nd
Personally, I think the NFL blogosphere needs more paranoid conspiracy theories and superstition. With this article, TotalPackers.com will try to do just that – I will examine a fascinating chain reaction of retarded events that may culminate in the Chicago Bears becoming relevant once again, much to the chagrin of my beloved Green Bay Packers. [...]
Simms to the Bears?
Feb 18th
The free agency rumor mill has started spinning and while most of the speculation will revolve around guys like Albert Haynesworth and Julius Peppers, an interesting item came out of Chicago today. While he will never be confused with his father, Phil, it appears that the Chicago Bears are interested in quarterback Chris Simms, and [...]
Tis the Season of Giving
Dec 23rd
And that’s just what the Green Bay Packers did last night – gave those scumbags from Chicago a 20-17 overtime victory. This one turned to shit in the third quarter, when the cursed Jarrett Bush let a Chicago punt bounce off his backside. After that, the Bears gained momentum that never came back to the [...]
Bears Fan Checklist
Dec 22nd
Tonight, on Monday Night Football, the Green Bay Packers will try to (somewhat) salvage their season by throwing a giant wrench in the hated Chicago Bears playoff hopes. While I will certainly be belligerently drunk by halftime, I thought I’d start the day out with a little tribute to Chicago Bears’ fans, who rank behind [...]
Packers ‘Bearly’ Sneak by Chicago 37-3
Nov 17th
Coming off two heartbreakingly close losses in a row, the Green Bay Packers desperately needed a win on Sunday to keep their division championship hopes alive. The Chicago Bears gave the Packers everything they had for the first two minutes or so, but in the end, Green Bay emerged from the hard fought game as [...]