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Posts tagged Chicago Bears

Lovie Smith Gets His Extension, Talks Up Cutler

Lovie Smith

The Chicago Bears have given coach Lovie Smith a two-year contract extension.

Smith, who was entering the final year of a four-year contract, made $5.5 million under his old deal, making him one of the highest-paid coaches in the NFL. Assuming he didn’t take a pay cut, Smith makes slightly more than Green Bay Packers coach Mike McCarthy, who recently signed an extension paying him an average of $5 million a year.

Quitler

Remember when Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler quit on his team during the second half of the NFC Championship game against the Green Bay Packers because his vagina hurt?

In case you forgot about it, I thought now would be as good a time as any to remind you.

Dave Duerson Committed Suicide

Dave Duerson

When I heard former Chicago Bears safety Dave Duerson died on Thursday, I didn’t pay much attention.

People die every day.

Things changed on Saturday, however, when it was revealed Duerson committed suicide by shooting himself in the chest.

They’re Despondent In Chicago

Jay Cutler

2010 was a good season for the Chicago Bears — they won the NFC North, they made it to the NFC Championship game, and… yeah, well, they lost to a hated division rival with the Super Bowl on the line.

That’s gotta leave a bad taste in your mouth.

Vomit-Inducing News Of The Day: Jay Cutler Getting Engaged

Jay Cutler

The more I think about it, the more this makes sense.

A no-talent quarterback is getting engaged to a no-talent reality star.

That’s right, mouth-breather extraordinaire and all-around vagina, Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler is getting engaged.

Jeremy Piven Does Not Like Your Super Bowl Matchup

Jeremy Piven, of Entourage fame, doesn’t like anything about this year’s Super Bowl matchup. Piven was looking for a New York Jets-Chicago Bears game for, who knows why. Probably because he sucks. There honestly couldn’t have been a shittier Super Bowl matchup than that. Anyway, Piven voiced his displeasure over the Green Bay Packers-Pittsburgh Steelers […]

Coincidence?

Chicago Bears

What’s the phrase? A picture is worth a thousand words? This one might be worth a million.

Bill Murray Thinks Ray Nitschke Is A Pussy

Bill Murray

Bill Murray is awesome. He’s also a Chicago Bears fan, which makes him a little less… scratch that — a lot less awesome. Apparently, Murray was at the NFC Championship game last weekend, cheering on his Bears as they fell to the mighty Green Bay Packers. Sorry, Bill. Anyway, here’s a story we picked up […]

NFC Championship 10-Second Delay

During our NFC Championship game gathering, we were watching the Green Bay Packers thrash the Chicago Bears on two separate TVs. The small one outside was live. The larger one inside was DirectTV, hence a 10-second delay. Here’s how Sam Shields’ fateful interception to end the game played out in that scenario.

Peppers Fined For Hit On Rodgers

Chicago Bears defensive end Julius Peppers was fined $10,000 by the NFL for his helmet-to-helmet hit on Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers in the NFC Championship game. The hit occurred at the 11:20 mark in the fourth quarter and it drew a personal foul penalty. It also looked cheap as fuck, but Rodgers didn’t […]

TiVo Time: Chicago Bears

The Green Bay Packers are your 2010 NFC Champions. Here’s an in-depth look at how they won their grudge match with the Chicago Bears. 10:50, 1st quarter — The Bears won the coin toss and used the Packers’ strategy against them by deferring until the second half. It looks especially rosy for the home team […]

Obama Gets A Green Bay Welcome

Barack Obama

President Barack Obama flew into Green Bay this morning for an appearance and speech in Manitowoc. When he landed, the Chicago Bears fan was the recipient of two Green Bay Packers jerseys. The second, which is pictured above, was Charles Woodson’s No. 21 with the following personally signed message. “To President Obama See you at […]

Woodson Takes A Shot At Obama

Charles Woodson

I like Green Bay Packers cornerback Charles Woodson more every day. Woodson gave a rousing post-game locker room speech to the rest of the Packers after they beat the Chicago Bears on Sunday. At the end, Woodson takes a shot at president Barack Obama, who’s a Bears fan. Obama said he would attend the Super […]

Chicago Car Salesman Fired For Packers Tie

Think Chicago Bears fans are a little butt hurt about losing the NFC Championship game to the Green Bay Packers? Jerry Roberts sure as hell is. Roberts fired John Stone on Monday after he refused to remove a Packers tie he claims to have work to honor his late grandmother, a Packers fan. Stone worked […]

Jay Cutler Is Weak And Everyone Knows It

Jay Cutler

How does your starting quarterback not finish the NFC Championship game? Ask the Chicago Bears. Jay Cutler left the NFC Championship game in the third quarter with what turned out to be a sprained MCL. He then stood and watched the rest of the game from the sideline. You’d think they would have had to […]

Fuck The Chicago Bears, I’m Getting Drunk!

There will be no posts today other than this one. The reason for this being is the Green Bay Fucking Packers are going to the Super Bowl and the Chicago Bears can suck my fucking ass! I’m getting drunk! Yeah!

Predictions: Packers vs. Bears

Devin Hester

Steffen: If you’re like me, this past week of hype has been cringe-inducing. On one hand, it’s pretty sweet to have just about everyone on TV or the radio gushing about Aaron Rodgers and the Green Bay Packers. Of course, there are some detractors (Colin Cowherd spent most of Friday morning declaring Rodgers no better […]

Barack Has A Little Problem

Barack Obama is a Chicago boy, so he’s a Chicago Bears fan. Well, fuck him. Such poor judgment makes him unfit to lead the free world. I kid, of course. Anyway, here’s a funny video the guys at PM Sports sent my way. In it, President Douche finds his inner circle has been infiltrated by […]

Hello From Charlie Lane

Charlie Lane

You know how we feel about porn stars, and broads in general, here at Total Packers. We like them! So, when we can combine the Green Bay Packers and broads, well… I’ve got a humongous erection right now. Charlie Lane is a porn star. She’s also from Wisconsin. She also likes the Green Bay Packers. […]

Talking Packers On Sports Talk

Yesterday, I joined Steve Adler of Fantasy Daddy on his podcast, Sports Talk. Not surprisingly, we talked about the Green Bay Packers and the NFC Championship game. Knowledge was dispensed, I can assure you. You can listen below.