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Posts tagged Chicago Bears

Packers Atop ESPN Power Rankings

Eagles fan

The Green Bay Packers sit atop ESPN’s preseason power rankings, which is very important because that team always goes on to win the Super Bowl. Check out where the rest of the losers in the NFC North came in.

NFC North: Lions’ Big Loss, Bears Still Idiots, Busted In Minnesota

Mikel Leshoure

You’ve got to love the NFC North. Outside of Green Bay, it’s populated with a bunch of idiots. The Chicago Bears are run by idiots. Minnesota Vikings players can’t stop getting arrested. In Detroit, they may not be stupid, but we’ll bet the hype died down a little bit today.

Jay Cutler Will Not Be Choking On That Gravy After All

Cutler return card

Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler and former fiance Kristin Cavallari have decided to return all the presents from their wedding gift registry, which means they will not be choking on the gravy from the beautiful gravy boat we purchased for them.

Please Help Us Caption This Photo

Gabe Carimi

Here, we’ve got Chicago Bears tackle Gabe Carimi in an odd situation. Sure, he’s a Wisconsin boy, but he swore off the Green Bay Packers when he was chosen by the Chicago Bears. It looks like they’ve turned him into a mouth breather.

NFC North: Free Agents, New Starters And Other Nonsense

Jay Cutler

The three teams competing for second place in the NFC North have been working real hard to take home that trophy this offseason. Here are the latest developments from Chicago, Minnesota and Detroit.

Clusterfuck Update 7/28: Free Agent Deals, Eagles Get Stronger

Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie

Ah, free agency, what an exhausting wench you are. Today, we’ve got three major trades completed, including the one that makes the Eagles the second-best team in the NFC and the Redskins making their usual stupid moves by overpaying some guy who won’t amount to shit.

Clusterfuck Update 7/27: Free Agent Deals And Kolb To Cardinals

Kevin Kolb

Although teams can’t begin signing free agents until Friday, this is the second day they could negotiate with them. Several clubs took advantage and reached agreements with players. The Green Bay Packers jumped into the fray by reaching an agreement with Mason Crosby. Here are today’s developments that could impact the Packers’ quest to repeat […]

Clusterfuck Update 7/26: Free Agent Deals And McNabb To Vikings

Donovan McNabb

Teams can’t officially sign free agents until Friday, but that didn’t stop several players from agreeing to contracts. That, plus the Minnesota Vikings pursuit of Donovan McNabb and Nnamdi Asomugha’s first suitor.

The Dynamic Duo Is No More

Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari

Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler has broken off his engagement with former reality star Kristin Cavallari. We suspect the whole thing was just a ruse to make us buy him a gravy boat.

Packers 20th Most Valuable Sports Franchise

Mike McCarthy

The Green Bay Packers came in ranked about where you’d expect them to be on Forbes list of most valuable sports franchises. Take a look at who’s ahead of them and where they rank in the NFL.

Cutler’s Fiance Kristin Cavallari Bikini Gallery [Photos]

Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler may not get it done on the football field, but his broad, Kristin Cavallari, gets it done off the field. Check out her bikini body in this gallery.

Cutler And Cavalli Getting Gravy Boat From Us For Their Wedding

Jay Cutler

Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler and fiance Kristin Cavallari have posted their wedding registry almost a full year in advance of their nuptials. Total Packers has already made their day extra special by buying them a large gravy boat.

Hester To Bears: Sign Receiver Just Like Shitty Ones We Have

Devin Hester

Chicago Bears receiver Devin Hester suggested the team sign another receiver exactly like the shitty ones they already have — Washington Redskins free agent Santana Moss. GM Jerry Angelo just might be dumb enough to do it.

Nick Collins: Jay Cutler Really Stinks

Nick Collins

Hey, we’ve been saying it for some time and Green Bay Packers safety Nick Collins agrees: Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler stinks. Actually, Collins didn’t utter the exact words, but he did convey the message. During an appearance on Colin Cowherd’s radio show Tuesday morning, Cowherd asked Collins’ opinion on who the toughest quarterback in the NFL is to face.

Jay Cutler’s Knee Fantastic, Vagina Still Hurts

Jay Cutler

We’re glad to know the get well card we sent to Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler after he stood around with a dumb look on his face for the second half of the NFC Championship game paid off. Cutler, who “sprained his knee” at the beginning of the third quarter, is back to playing football now that nothing at all is on the line.

NFL Has No Scheduling Plan For Shortened Season

Roger Goodell

After we wrote about the NFL planning for an eight-game season, someone asked me if I knew how the league would handle the schedule. If the labor dispute costs the NFL any amount of games, the league will have to adjust the schedule in some fashion. The most obvious potential solution is to simply keep […]

Fox Sports Ranks Packers No. 1 NFL Organization

Mike McCarthy and Ted Thompson

Fox Sports’ Adam Schein compiled his third annual NFL organization rankings and not surprisingly, the Green Bay Packers came out on top, dethroning two-time winner, the New England Patriots. What does this mean? Probably not much, other than the Packers rate highly in several subjective categories. While the categories used to determine the rankings — […]

Bowen: Finley Key To Beating Bears

Jermichael Finley

We all know Green Bay Packers tight Jermichael Finley is an impact player. We also know adding him to an already-potent offense could make the Packers almost unstoppable in 2011, but the National Football Post’s Matt Bowen says Finley is the key to beating the Chicago Bears. The Packers had significant trouble with the Bears last season.

20 Questions With Ashlynn Brooke

Ashlynn Brooke

We’ve got a sexy little treat for you this fine Friday morning — one of our favorite Green Bay Packers fans, Ashlynn Brooke. If you’re unfamiliar with Ashlynn or her work, get over to Google or just click the link above to check out her site. I will warn you, it’s decidedly unsafe for both […]

Packers Might Have Super Bowl Hangover

Aaron Rodgers

This probably wasn’t the best offseason for a lockout, at least as far as the Green Bay Packers organization is concerned. Every team coming off a Super Bowl win experiences some sort of hangover. The players are partying, making personal appearances, getting their faces in the media and partaking in all kinds of stupid promotional and […]