Posts tagged Chicago Bears
It’s taken me a while to get to this, but now it’s time to lay into the joke in the NFC North not named the Minnesota Vikings — the Chicago Bears. Actually, it’s not the Bears whole organization that’s a joke, it’s general manager Jerry Angelo, which should come as a surprise to no one. If you watched the first round of the 2011 NFL Draft, you saw Angelo’s ineptitude in action, although you probably couldn’t tell what was really going on.
Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler is the biggest mouth breather on the face of the planet. He’s also a quitter, but that’s not important here. Reality star Kristen Cavallari, of Laguna Beach “fame,” has no discernible talent and dumbs down every room she’s in. So really, it’s perfect that the pair, who’ve been dating since last fall, got engaged over the weekend.
It won’t surprise anyone a politician is full of shit. Illinois governor Pat Quinn made a bet with Wisconsin governor Scott Walker over the Green Bay Packers NFC Championship tilt with the Chicago Bears. The loser of the bet agreed to work at a food pantry in the winner’s state wearing the opposing team’s gear. […]
The Green Bay Packers have the best draft run over the past five years, according to Matt Maiocco of Comcast Sportsnet. The team still has 57 percent of the players they’ve chosen on their roster (27 out of 47) — only five teams have more. The rankings also consider how many star players, busts and how […]
Man, I don’t even know where to begin. As someone who can actually string a comprehensible sentence together, I’m offended. There’s a magazine called Chicago Parent and someone there decided it would be a good idea to give Chicago Bears returner Devin Hester a column in said magazine. Hester’s first column just came out and… […]
The gods have smiled on us today, friends! The state of Illinois has introduced Chicago Bears license plates so people from Illinois can be even more obnoxious and look even dumber while they’re trashing the fine state of Wisconsin this summer. That’s not the great part, though. The great part is, you can go online […]
If the NFL wanted to eliminate what’s potentially one of the most exciting plays in football, they did a good job on Tuesday. The league decided to move kickoffs from the 30 to the 35-yard line. You know what that means? You’re only going to see touchbacks in the NFL, next season. Awesome! I’m probably […]
They were even dumber in Chicago in the 1980s. If you remember the idiots who wrote the song about Chicago Bears return man Devin Hester, and you thought it couldn’t get any worse, you were sadly mistaken. Today, we bring you this gem, which is obviously from the ’80s and features former Bears coach Mike Ditka doing, among other things, tearing up the dance floor, playing foosball by himself and carrying a clipboard around the club.
I’m not clever enough to write an entire article referencing Eminem’s popular song in witty sorts of ways, nor would I want any of you to think I’m a fan of his. So, the analogies cease here and onto the real question: does anyone else find it hilarious that Jay Cutler’s namesake is this meathead? […]
The king of the mouth breathers and Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler can’t catch a break.
I guess that’s what happens when you give up during the NFC Championship game, spend the second half standing around on the sidelines looking stupid and then don’t say peep while everyone and his brother is trashing you in the media during the offseason.
Another day, another jerkoff defending Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler. This time it’s Bears offensive coordinator Mike Martz. Martz is here to remind us Cutler is tough and tell us he’s going to be an elite quarterback. You know, the same Jay Cutler that decided not to play the second half of the NFC Championship […]
The Chicago Bears have given coach Lovie Smith a two-year contract extension.
Smith, who was entering the final year of a four-year contract, made $5.5 million under his old deal, making him one of the highest-paid coaches in the NFL. Assuming he didn’t take a pay cut, Smith makes slightly more than Green Bay Packers coach Mike McCarthy, who recently signed an extension paying him an average of $5 million a year.
Remember when Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler quit on his team during the second half of the NFC Championship game against the Green Bay Packers because his vagina hurt?
In case you forgot about it, I thought now would be as good a time as any to remind you.