Posts tagged Adrian Peterson

Adrian Peterson And His Girl Bladder Will Not Save Your Job

Adrian Peterson

Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson has a tiny, girl bladder and like all Minnesota Vikings, a cold, cold heart. Apparently, Peterson and his little girl bladder had to piss so badly he stood outside a McDonald’s drive-thru at 3 a.m. and asked to be let into the store. The assistant manager, who was working […]

Adrian Peterson Is M.I.A.

Brett Favre action figures

Okay, so I couldn’t possibly stand writing another Brett Favre headline, so that’s why you’re getting this one on Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson. This made me laugh heartily, so I think I’ll just let it speak for itself. How do you think that played out? I bet when they consulted Favre on making […]

Stick A Fork In The Minnesota Vikings

Greg Jennings

I think we can all agree, thanks to the Green Bay Packers, we can stick a fork in the Minnesota Vikings. They’re dead. Their season is officially over after the Packers thoroughly dominated them and old man Brett Favre in a 31-3 victory at the Metrodome. None of us thought it would be as easy […]

Why It All Went Wrong For The Vikings

Oh, those poor Minnesota Vikings. They’ve become the NFL’s freak show. Not only does their team, at 3-6, suck, but no one likes head coach Brad Childress, quarterback Brett Favre is now recognized more for sending photos of his cock to Jenn Sterger than anything he’s doing on the football field, and the team’s early-season […]

The Brett Favre Curse Is Broken

Brett Favre

The Green Bay Packers finally pulled out a close game and in doing so, ended the curse of Brett Favre, beating the Minnesota Vikings 28-24. The Packers sit in a tie with the Chicago Bears atop the NFC North with the Chicago Bears at 4-3. Although the Packers defense gave up plenty of yards — […]

Vikings Get Moss For Third-Round Pick, Packers Keep Thumb In Ass

Randy Moss

Well, that was easy enough. In the span of 24 hours the Green Bay Packers watched the running back everyone said they needed get traded to Seattle for a fourth-round pick and the receiver they were too stubborn to acquire in 2007 get traded to their arch rival for a third-round pick, moving at least […]

Who’s Happier Brett Favre Came Back This Year, Me Or Brett Favre?

I’ll tell you who’s happier Brett Favre came back this season. Me. The most despicable franchise in the history of anything, the Minnesota Vikings, are 0-2, two games behind the Green Bay Packers in the NFC North and seemingly ready to implode. I know Favre certainly isn’t happy about that and neither is the rest […]

Trouble Brewing In Minnesota?

As you probably know, I hate the Minnesota Vikings. More than terrorists. So, this potential disaster/distraction/whatever puts a smile on my face. Vikings running back Adrian Peterson isn’t happy. Who would be, playing for that despicable franchise? Michael Lombardi reports Peterson will be the next player to complain about his contract. Peterson is still playing […]

Adrian Peterson’s Fiancee Was In Playboy

Adrian Peterson and Ashley Brown

Hey, it’s the slow part of the offseason, so we’re going to make sure to bring you as much news revolving around our primary non-Green Bay Packers interest — broads — as possible. We’ve told you about Matthew Stafford’s broad and Aaron Rodgers’ broads and now we’re going to tell you about Minnesota Vikings running […]

Woodson Packers’ Lone All Pro

Charles Woodson

In news that should really surprise no one, cornerback Charles Woodson is the Green Bay Packers lone member of the NFL All-Pro team. The All-Pro team is voted on my members of the Associated Press and made up of the top players from both conferences, unlike the Pro Bowl, which separates the squads into AFC […]

Fans’ Pro Bowl Selections An Even Bigger Joke Than We Thought

If only the NFL could idiot proof the Pro Bowl voting process. You know, make people prove they’re not complete fucking morons before they’re allowed to vote. Obviously, if there were any such measure in place, it didn’t work this year. We told you which way the voting was going last week, and it turned […]

Predictions: Packers vs. Ravens

Monty: There are a lot of reasons why the Green Bay Packers are going to beat the Baltimore Ravens on Monday night. There’s one reason why they won’t – I’m going to be at the game. Not counting preseason, the Packers haven’t won a game that I’ve attended since a 2003 victory over the San […]

More Proof: Vikings Fans Really Are the Worst

Who would want to watch this guy play?

As if we needed more proof that Minnesota Vikings fans are the worst fans in the NFL, but here you have it. Apparently, a 7-1 record and an all-star offense with quarterback Brett Favre and running back Adrian Peterson isn’t enough to draw Vikings fans to the MetroBarn. The team is facing possible blackouts if […]

Predictions: Packers vs. Vikings

Total Packers takes a look at today’s Green Bay Packers, Minnesota Vikings game and offers their predictions. Monty: Forget about Brett Favre for a second. This game comes down to two things: turnovers and pressure. If the Packers can win the turnover battle and keep Aaron Rodgers off the ground, they’ll win going away. The […]

Five Reasons the Packers Will Beat the Vikings

Nick Barnett is among them

The Green Bay Packers are three-point favorites going into their contest with the Minnesota Vikings this weekend. Since the Packers are playing in Lambeau Field, that line simply means that the oddsmakers feel these two teams are evenly matched. Still, this season’s history says the Vikings are the better team. The Vikings are 6-1 to […]

Clay Matthews Starting to Make His Mark

Clay Matthews

A bright spot in the otherwise dreary news coming out of Green Bay following the Packers’ Monday night loss at Minnesota is rookie linebacker Clay Matthews, who stripped Vikings’ running back Adrian Peterson late in the second quarter and ran the ball back for a 42-yard, game-tying touchdown – his first NFL score. Matthews also […]

Penalties, Sacks and Turnovers Key to Packers Loss

About the only thing the Green Bay Packers did right in their ugly 30-23 loss to the Vikings in the MetroBarn last night was hold Adrian Peterson to 55 yards rushing. Peterson did score once, but was held to an average of just 2.2 yards per rush, which is no small feat considering he’s racked […]

Packers Shape Up, But It’s Only the Rams

AP Photo/Tom Gannam

The Green Bay Packers got a much needed win on Sunday, and the team looked better than it did the previous week against the Cincinnati Bengals. However, it should be pointed out that the St. Louis Rams are one of the worst teams in football. Still, a win is a win, and although the game […]

Favre Looks Solid, Unspectacular on Monday Night

Brett Favre Adrian Peterson

As most fans and former fans of Minnesota Vikings’ quarterback Brett Favre, I had one eye on Reliant Stadium in Houston tonight, when the Vikings took on the Houston Texans. After Favre’s less-than-stellar debut for the Vikings last week (1-for-4, 4 yards), I think some of us were hoping Favre was washed up, that perhaps […]

Vikings vs. Packers: Who Sucked And Who Didn’t

Nick Barnett has been lost for the season.

Every week the Green Bay Packers are starting to look more and more like a team that simply won’t live up to expectations. Yesterday, the Packers lost yet another close game to an inferior opponent, this time, 28-27 to the Minnesota Vikings. The Packers should be better than this. Maybe it’s time to accept that […]