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Hello From Charlie Lane

Charlie Lane

You know how we feel about porn stars, and broads in general, here at Total Packers. We like them! So, when we can combine the Green Bay Packers and broads, well… I’ve got a humongous erection right now. Charlie Lane is a porn star. She’s also from Wisconsin. She also likes the Green Bay Packers. […]

Talking Packers On Sports Talk

Yesterday, I joined Steve Adler of Fantasy Daddy on his podcast, Sports Talk. Not surprisingly, we talked about the Green Bay Packers and the NFC Championship game. Knowledge was dispensed, I can assure you. You can listen below.

Poor Chicago

No one likes the Bears

Like Rodney Dangerfield, the Chicago Bears get no respect. Just take a look at the results of this SportsNation poll. In case you can’t quite see it, every state in the nation other than Illinois is picking the Green Bay Packers to beat the Bears, this weekend. Although Indiana is red, meaning the highest percentage […]

Tramon Is A Pro Bowler*

Tramon Williams

Green Bay Packers cornerback Tramon Williams made the Pro Bowl after all. Although many saw Williams as one of the biggest snubs when the Pro Bowl rosters were announced, Williams, who was a first alternate, has been added to the NFC roster because the Philadelphia Eagles Asante Samuel cannot play due to injury. Tramon had […]

An Uprising Of Support From Broncos Country

Jay Cutler

Face it. No one likes the Chicago Bears except for FIBs and maybe two people in Iowa. The point was once again reinforced when Steffen, the other mastermind behind this venerable institution known as Total Packers, asked one of our friends, and one of biggest Denver Broncos fans on the planet, to ask his brethren […]

Brett Favre: What Should I Do?

It’s a knock-off of LeBron’s “What Should I Do?” Nike commercial. It’s a parody based on Brett Favre and his penis. It’s hilarious. (Via Guyism)

Tramon Williams Cost Himself A Bunch Of Money

Tramon Williams

Signing cornerback Tramon Williams to a contract extension was a great move by the Green Bay Packers, but probably not such a great move by Williams. The Packers locked Williams up with a four-year extension averaging $8.25 million per season, in late November. With Williams’ recent performance, that looks like a bargain. Not only did […]

Hello, From Brian Urlacher

Brian Urlacher

Ref From First Packers-Bears Game Gets NFC Championship

Terry McAulay, the referee from the first matchup between the Chicago Bears and Green Bay Packers, has been assigned to the NFC Championship game. Why is that significant? The Packers committed a team-record 18 penalties in their first game with the Bears this season, essentially handing Chicago a win. Those 18 penalties added up to […]

The Bears Still Suck, Now Even Better!

Is The Bears Still Suck the greatest song ever recorded? I don’t know, but it’s close. As if you needed a reason to find additional enjoyment in this classic number, here it is. Two young lads perform their version. It warms my heart. (Via Guyism)

TiVo Time: Atlanta Falcons

Aaron Rodgers

It’s like t-shirt time, only better, because no one from Jersey is involved. Shawn Neuser takes a look at the Green Bay Packers 48-21 divisional victory over the Atlanta Falcons. Here’s a comprehensive analysis of the Packers’ dismantling of the Atlanta Falcons. 14:52, 1st quarter — After the Packers deferred, the Falcons get the first […]

Green Bay Press Gazette Fail!

Green Bay Press Gazette Fail!

In order to hype the Green Bay Packers vs. Chicago Bears NFC Championship game, the Green Bay Press Gazette ran with this on A1, on Monday. And I can’t get a press pass… At least I can spell Chicago. Chicago, motherfuckers!

Favre Allegedly Tried To Bag A Masseuse While With The Vikings

Brett Favre

Brett Favre likes to bang just about anything that isn’t his wife. Or maybe his wife just doesn’t like to bang him. Whatever the case, there’s another masseuse claiming Favre tried to get with her. Stephanie Dusenberry, who formerly worked for the Minnesota Vikings and now works independently with several Vikings’ players, claims Favre texted […]

Mike Florio Loves Aaron Rodgers!

Aaron Rodgers

In case you haven’t heard, Pro Football Talk head honcho Mike Florio called out Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers earlier this week for not signing an autograph for a cancer survivor. There was a video of Rodgers passing by the woman, Jan Cavanaugh, on his way through the airport without stopping. Florio lit into […]

Dom Capers Isn’t Going Anywhere

Dom Capers

Perhaps lost in the hype surrounding the Green Bay Packers’ matchup with the Chicago Bears for the NFC Championship is this important nugget — Packers defensive coordinator isn’t going anywhere. There was talk towards the end of the season Capers should be and could be considered for an NFL head coaching job because of the […]

Hest Is The Best!

This will make your taint hurt, but it will also make you laugh. Why? Because it’s stupidest piece of crap you’ll see all week. That’s right. We’ve got more fan-composed music videos for you, but this one comes from Chicago, where they love Bears kick returner Devin Hester. Hence the title of this flaming pile, […]

The ‘Genius’ Of Brett Favre

Brett Favre, Aaron Rodgers

In case you didn’t know it already, Brett Favre is a walking contradiction. Hours after filing his retirement papers with the NFL, Old Man Favre is already trying to make amends with the Green Bay Packers, telling ESPN’s Ed Werder in an e-mail he thinks Aaron Rodgers is the league’s best quarterback and the Packers’ […]

Matthews Picks Up Another Defensive MVP

Clay Matthews

Green Bay Packers outside linebacker Clay Matthews has been named defensive MVP by the Professional Football Writers of America and Pro Football Weekly. The two organizations worked together to choose All-NFL and All-Rookie teams, as well as select MVPs, coach of the year, etc. The Associated Press hands out the official NFL Defensive Player of […]

Packers Are Now Super Bowl Favorites

Aaron Rodgers and Brandon Jackson

The Green Bay Packers had a pretty good weekend. After throttling the NFC’s No. 1 seed, the Atlanta Falcons, 48-21 with a nearly flawless effort and watching the rest of the playoff field have to work for their victories, the Packers were installed as the favorite to win the Super Bowl. What does that mean? […]

Brett Favre Must Really Be Retiring Because He’s Hawking Collectibles

We didn’t pay much attention when former Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre filed his retirement papers, this morning. So what? We thought. It’s not that we think Favre will change his mind and come back sometime next August. It’s just that after getting beat around, both on the field and in his private life, while […]