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Where Are They Now? Packers’ Draft Busts: 2000-2010

Brian Brohm

The Green Bay Packers have had their share of draft busts over the years. Some have been epic (Tony Mandarich), while others have snuck out of town almost unnoticed (Terrence Murphy). Well, thankfully we’re here to dredge up your past failures, point our gnarled, crooked, judgmental fingers at you and cackle. For you’ve shamed the […]

Akeem Ayers: The Good, The Bad And The Ugly

Akeem Ayers

UCLA linebacker Akeem Ayers seems to be rising up draft boards after a strong pro day — one at which Green Bay Packers general manager Ted Thompson was in attendance. Ayers (6-2 1/2, 259) was largely considered a second-round talent, but appears to have put himself on the cusp of the first round after posting times of […]

Packers Throw Out First Pitch, Brewers Immediately Sign Them

Packers first pitch

Twelve members of the world champion Green Bay Packers were on hand for the Milwaukee Brewers home opener Monday afternoon to throw out the first pitch… er, pitches. I’m only kidding about the Brewers signing anyone, but hell, none of the Packers have anything to do during the damn lockout and the Brewers supposedly vaunted […]

Packers’ Five-Year Draft Run Best In NFL

Clay Matthews

The Green Bay Packers have the best draft run over the past five years, according to Matt Maiocco of Comcast Sportsnet. The team still has 57 percent of the players they’ve chosen on their roster (27 out of 47) — only five teams have more. The rankings also consider how many star players, busts and how […]

Owners Refused To Meet With Players

Roger Goodell

In advance of Wednesday’s scheduled court date, where the players have charged NFL owners with antitrust violations, you’d think the league would be interested in going back to the bargaining table. They have, in fact, made public pleas for the players to return to negotiations. Well, that was obviously all bullshit. John Clayton reports the […]

More Packers Rap

It may not be Lil’ Wayne’s Green and Yellow, but it’s not the worse thing I’ve heard. Here’s Def Crew’s Green Bay Packers Anthem. (Via AllGreenBayPackers.com)

Really?

This person’s parents shouldn’t have reproduced. Other than that, I have no words. Oh, it’s a Chicago Cubs jersey. Good luck breaking your unparalleled record of futility. (Via Deadspin)

Matt Flynn Will Eventually Be Traded

Matt Flynn

Although the Green Bay Packers are outwardly adamant Matt Flynn will be the team’s second-string quarterback next season, the team will eventually have to trade him. That could happen sooner, rather than later according to the NFL Network’s Jason La Canfora. The analyst was asked if Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Kevin Kolb is the only current […]

Rodgers Getting It Done In Hawaii

Aaron Rodgers

It must be good to be the quarterback of the Super Bowl champion Green Bay Packers. Here’s our man in Hawaii with what else? A hot broad. Or at least a dirty broad. I know this because she has a tramp stamp. Aim for the target, son! (Via TMZ)

Aaron Rodgers At Disneyland

Aaron Rodgers Disneyland

Someone recently passed along these photos of Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers doing his thing at Disneyland after leading the team to a win in Super Bowl XLV. Now seems like a appropriate time to share, since there’s nothing else going on in the NFL.

In Chicago, It’s A Good Idea To Let Devin Hester Be A Writer

Devin Hester

Man, I don’t even know where to begin. As someone who can actually string a comprehensible sentence together, I’m offended. There’s a magazine called Chicago Parent and someone there decided it would be a good idea to give Chicago Bears returner Devin Hester a column in said magazine. Hester’s first column just came out and… […]

There Will Probably Be Football On Sunday, Regardless

Roger Goodell

There’s no guarantee there will be NFL football on Sundays this year, but there still may be some football on Sunday. And no, I’m not talking about the Lingerie Football League. That’s not football, it’s something to masturbate to. I’m talking about college football. Specifically, the Pac-10. The Pac-10 is discussing the possibility of playing […]

How Many Tight Ends Are Better Than Jermichael Finley?

Jermichael Finley

Nine, according to ESPN. ESPN released their tight end power rankings this week and Green Bay Packers tight end Jermichael Finley finished 10th. The Dallas Cowboys’ Jason Witten and the San Diego Chargers’ Antonio Gates were far and away the No. 1 and 2 tight ends in the rankings. While Finley’s ranking isn’t all that […]

Win T-Shirts, Books And More!

Beltified

We’ve given away a bunch of stuff over the past few months here at Total Packers and we’re going to give away a bunch more in the coming months. This week, we’re loading up on the contests. These are the things you can win right now: an Aaron Rodgers beltified t-shirt (pictured above), a copy […]

Create Your Own Chicago Bears License Plate!

Chicago Bears license plate

The gods have smiled on us today, friends! The state of Illinois has introduced Chicago Bears license plates so people from Illinois can be even more obnoxious and look even dumber while they’re trashing the fine state of Wisconsin this summer. That’s not the great part, though. The great part is, you can go online […]

Brandon Underwood’s Whores Charged

Kesha Cureton

Green Bay Packers cornerback/safety Brandon Underwood wasn’t the only one charged in connection with last summer’s post-Clay Matthews golf tournament late-night rendezvous/sexual assault fiasco. The two whores Underwood brought back to his Lake Delton condo that evening, and would later accuse him of assault, were charged with prostitution.

Baylor Hopes Lil’ Wayne Cares About Women’s Basketball

You know you love Lil’ Wayne’s tribute to the Green Bay Packers, “Green and Yellow.” Weezy penned the ditty for his favorite football team during the Packers’ Super Bowl run, remixing Wiz Khalifa’s “Black and Yellow.” Well, the Baylor women’s basketball team, whose colors are green and gold, loves the song too and they’ve adopted it […]

Brett Favre Will Not Be Going To Carolina

Brett Favre

Just like that, the Brett Favre to the Carolina Panthers rumors are dead. Although we didn’t believe it, we told you about the rumor yesterday, after some tool from Minnesota wrote about it in a newspaper column. It’s already been debunked.

Jolly’s Arrest Shouldn’t Change Packers’ Plans

Cullen Jenkins

There’s speculation Johnny Jolly’s second arrest for codeine possession, which put his NFL career in serious jeopardy, will force the Green Bay Packers to reevaluate re-signing defensive end Cullen Jenkins. Jenkins, who had seven sacks in 11 games in 2010, will be one of the most sought-after defensive free agents whenever free agency begins.

What? Brett Favre May Return With Carolina?

Brett Favre

Quarterback Brett Favre may return to the NFL for the 2011 season, according to Charley Walters of the St. Paul Pioneer Press, but not with the Minnesota Vikings. The Vikings seem intent on choosing a quarterback in this year’s draft and possibly adding a veteran like the Washington Redskins Donovan McNabb as a bridge until he’s ready.