Minnesota Vikings

Five Questions With Purple Jesus Diaries

Vikings cheerleaders

The Green Bay Packers play the Minnesota Vikings this week and since we already know what’s going to happen, we asked some cunts from Minnesota their ignorant opinions. Here’s what they had to say.

Vikings Aren’t Giving Up… Yet

Christian Ponder

The Minnesota Vikings aren’t giving up on their season, according to coach Leslie Frazier. That’s too bad, because they should.

Bernard Berrian Tells Amputee To Sit Down And Shut Up

The Minnesota Vikings are 0-4 and the wheels are falling off their season. Receiver Bernard Berrian still managed to make things worse with his off-field antics, though. You stay classy, Minnesota!

Now They Start Speculating About Donovan McNabb’s Job

Donovan McNabb

They don’t think too much of Donovan McNabb’s performance at quarterback in Minnesota. The question is how much longer can he hold onto his job?

Vikings Fan Runs His Mouth, Gets What He Deserves

This just makes us warm and tingly all over. Here’s video of a typical Minnesota Vikings fan running his mouth about how great his team is and how terrible every other team is. Fortunately, a San Diego Charger fan is there to give him what he deserves.

Donovan McNabb: Awful

Donovan McNabb and Philip Rivers

The Donovan McNabb era, which will probably be short lived, started with a thud in Minnesota. McNabb was awful against the San Diego Chargers.

The Onion: Minnesota Vikings Do Little To Upgrade Fans

Vikings fans

Here at Total Packers we know Minnesota Vikings fans are the worst thing about the NFL. The Onion apparently agrees. Check it out.

Chilly! Discusses Randy Moss Vomit Incident

Brad Childress

Former Minnesota Vikings coach and pedophile Brad Childress doesn’t think too much of Randy Moss. Childress decided to take a public shot at Moss today. Real mature.

Vikings Robison Glad Packers Won Super Bowl

Brian Robison

Minnesota Vikings defensive end Brian Robison, who’s spent four years as a backup, says he’s glad the Green Bay Packers won the Super Bowl last year. Why? Because the Vikings are going to handle the Super Bowl champs this year… hahahahahahaha!

NFC North: Lions’ Big Loss, Bears Still Idiots, Busted In Minnesota

Mikel Leshoure

You’ve got to love the NFC North. Outside of Green Bay, it’s populated with a bunch of idiots. The Chicago Bears are run by idiots. Minnesota Vikings players can’t stop getting arrested. In Detroit, they may not be stupid, but we’ll bet the hype died down a little bit today.

Are Packers Oblivious To The Threat Growing in Minnesota?

Michael Jenkins

We wanted to kill ourselves… wait… no. We’ve found the most brilliant article in the Bleacher Report catalog, which is a gigantic piece of brilliance itself, and it turns out it’s written by a Minnesota Vikings fan. We’ll annotate it for you, since it’s obviously way above any Green Bay Packers fan.

NFC North: Free Agents, New Starters And Other Nonsense

Jay Cutler

The three teams competing for second place in the NFC North have been working real hard to take home that trophy this offseason. Here are the latest developments from Chicago, Minnesota and Detroit.

Soon, Vikings QB Joe Webb Will Throw Interceptions Like No Other

Joe Webb

Minnesota Vikings quarterback Joe Webb is working out with Brett Favre, which means two things — Favre is probably actually retired and Webb will soon be able to throw interceptions with the all-time greats.

Just When You Thought Vikings Fans Couldn’t Get Any Dumber…

Seriously, this is the dumbest thing you’ll see all day… wait, no, all week. Probably all month for that matter. The Minnesota Vikings are trying to get a new stadium. For the most part, no one cares including the fans.

Adrian Peterson Not Fired Up About Vikings’ Quarterbacks

Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson was asked several questions about the team’s quarterback situation and struggled to say anything positive about rookie Christian Ponder or default incumbent Joe Webb. Peterson suggests he can’t see Ponder starting when the season opens.

Adrian Peterson Football Camp, Now With Less Adrian Peterson!

Adrian Peterson

We’d expect nothing less from a member of the Minnesota Vikings. Running back Adrian Peterson is ditching his own football camp, which begins tomorrow, claiming he has to film a show for the NFL Network. We’d probably ignore this if the camp wasn’t called the Old Spice Adrian Peterson Football Camp and the NFL Network didn’t say Peterson isn’t filming his spot until July.

Vikings Probably Aren’t Going Anywhere

Metrodome

There’s been a lot of talk about the Minnesota Vikings moving, specifically to Los Angeles, if the team doesn’t get a new stadium, but that is beginning to look more and more unlikely. The deal the Vikings are trying to craft with the state for a new stadium in suburban Arden Hills is far from done, but it does appear a little closer.

Vikings Chirping For Plaxico Burress

Plaxico Burress

Two of the Minnesota Vikings main offensive weapons, running back Adrian Peterson and receiver Percy Harvin, are lobbying for the team to sign receiver Plaxico Burress, who was released from prison earlier this month. Burress hasn’t played football since 2008 after pleading guilty to gun charges and will be looking for a new home to resume his career when the lockout ends.

John Randle Still Hates Brett Favre

John Randle

Former Minnesota Vikings defensive tackle John Randle, who had a very public rivalry with quarterback Brett Favre when he was with the Green Bay Packers, still doesn’t think much of Favre. In fact, he recently compared Favre to a reality television show. “I’m done following him,” said Randle, who sacked Favre 13.5 times. “That went […]

Vikings’ Four Worst Moments Since 1987

Brett Favre

We love tales of Minnesota Vikings woe almost as much as we love the Green Bay Packers, so it’s literally impossible for us not to tell you about Pro Football Talk’s list of the team’s four worst moments since 1987, which is the last time there was a lockout. PFT previously looked at the Packers’ four worst moments. The Vikings’ list of failure and ineptitude is much longer, though.