Minnesota Vikings
How To Douche Up An Already Douchey Event Even More
Apr 21st
They have a marathon in Boston at some point every year. I don’t pay attention. Running that far is for idiots and people who can’t afford rice. Oh! Look! I beat my personal best! Oh! Look! I can buy my starving Ethiopian family a bag of rice by pawning this medal! Oh! Look! I proved [...]
McNabb Loves Minnesota Vikings, Minnesota Vikings Love McNabb
Apr 20th
The douchiest team in the NFL… no, sports history, the Minnesota Vikings need themselves a quarterback. Washington Redskins quarterback Donovan McNabb needs a new team after falling out of favor with coach Mike Shanahan. Well, you can put two and two together, as we did some time ago.
Vikings Stadium Debate Won’t Go Away
Apr 8th
Another new way to fund a Vikings stadium is revealed. As if we weren’t already sick of the back-and-forth over a new Vikings stadium, another new bill was introduced in the state Legislature on Friday to fund the plan and get it off the cutting room floor. The already controversial plan to raise as [...]
Vikings Ben Leber Thinks Favre Could Come Back
Mar 22nd
We haven’t speculated about Brett Favre coming out of retirement and for good reason. Favre maintained 2010 was his last season throughout the year and even went so far as to file his retirement papers with the league once the season is over. Every indication is Brett Favre is retired from football. Of course, this is Brett Favre we’re talking about. He’s come out of retirement three times already.
Carson Palmer Another Option For Vikings
Mar 21st
Although several analysts have suggested Washington Redskins quarterback Donovan McNabb could be the guy who eventually winds up behind center for the Minnesota Vikings, the team has a lot of options. Peter King suggests the Cincinnati Bengals Carson Palmer is one of them. Palmer has said he won’t play for the Bengals again and who could blame him?
McNabb To Minnesota Rumors Pop Up Again
Mar 17th
It seems like we were talking about this at this time last year. Oh yeah, we were. Then-Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb was clearly on his way out of Philly and Brett Favre was giving every indication he planned on staying retired, which, in hindsight would have been a tremendous idea. So, why not reunite McNabb with his former offensive coordinator, then-Minnesota Vikings coach Brad Childress? Obviously, a lot has changed since then.
Adrian Peterson Is Not Funny
Mar 15th
Go figure. A member of the Minnesota Vikings is a humorless prick. Alright, maybe that’s taking it a little too far, because Adrian Peterson at least tried to be funny. He just wasn’t. He was kind of dumb, which, now that I think of it, is another trait of people in Minnesota. You knew that [...]
Chris Cook Adds To Storied Minnesota Vikings Tradition
Mar 14th
The Minnesota Vikings are a bunch of stupid, classless thugs and cornerback Chris Cook, a second-round pick in 2010, is no different. Cook was arrested in Lynchburg, Virginia on Saturday for pulling a gun during a fight. Brilliant! Cook is the second Minnesota Vikings player to get arrested since the season ended, joining defensive end Everson [...]
Vikings Tag Chad Greenway
Feb 21st
The Minnesota Vikings have used their franchise tag on linebacker Chad Greenway.
The move is significant because the Vikings also have two other key starters headed toward free agency — receiver Sidney Rice and defensive end Ray Edwards.
Update: Everyone In Minnesota Is Delusional
Feb 17th
I’m sure you remember Minnesota Senator Amy Klobuchar, who had to pass the U.S. Senate resolution honoring the Green Bay Packers, and then had the gall to say the Minnesota Vikings will win it in 2012.
I mean, if there was ever a Senator with her head up her ass…
Well, apparently such delusions extend to Minnesota Vikings players, as well.
Minnesota Senator Forced To Pass Packers Resolution, Still Delusional
Feb 11th
Minnesota Senator Amy Klobuchar, a die-hard Minnesota Vikings fan (and therefore, loser), was forced to pass a resolution honoring the Green Bay Packers for winning the Super Bowl.
Klobuchar was in charge of wrapping up the Senate’s outstanding business Friday and had to read the resolution, which passed with unanimous consent.
Everson Griffen Has Learned The Minnesota Vikings Way
Feb 2nd
In just one season on the team, defensive end Everson Griffen has learned the Minnesota Vikings way. That is, be a complete embarrassment to yourself and the NFL like so many great Minnesota Vikings before you. Represent the Minnesota Vikings like they deserve to be represented. Conjure memories of idiots like Favre, McKinnie, Culpepper and [...]
Viking Frank Walker Wants To Recruit You… For Porn
Jan 25th
Minnesota Vikings cornerback Frank Walker wants to get you involved in porn. That is, if you’re a hot chick. Walker sent this Tweet out last week. “New porn site coming soon and my boy is looking for females. Paying like 200 to 700 per hour.” Of course, as is Twitter protocol, when someone well known [...]
Adrian Peterson And His Girl Bladder Will Not Save Your Job
Jan 15th
Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson has a tiny, girl bladder and like all Minnesota Vikings, a cold, cold heart. Apparently, Peterson and his little girl bladder had to piss so badly he stood outside a McDonald’s drive-thru at 3 a.m. and asked to be let into the store. The assistant manager, who was working [...]
Someone Needs To Put Brett Favre And The Vikings Down
Dec 22nd
Can someone send an S.O.S. to Minnesota Vikings coach Leslie Frazier and his staff? A telegraph of sorts on behalf of the grizzled grandpa himself, Brett Favre? Something like this: Leslie, Your old-ass quarterback has done broked himself again. Really bad, this time. He can’t think straight, and that robotic arm you implanted in him [...]
We Hardly Knew Ye, TJack
Dec 16th
Over in Minnesota, things continue to get worse for the Vikings, which normally would be great. That’s not the case, at the moment, however. In addition to the giant hole in the roof of their shitty stadium and concerns surrounding the availability of TCF Bank Stadium, where the Vikings are trying to host their Monday [...]
Vikings’ Shithole Collapses
Dec 12th
A fitting metaphor for their season. The shithole that the Minnesota Vikings call home, the Metrodome, collapsed overnight. Or at least the roof did. There is now a hole in the middle of it from the build-up of snow — the Cities reportedly got close to 20 inches yesterday. The Vikings game against the New [...]
Green Bay Packers: Coach Killers
Nov 22nd
The Green Bay Packers have played two games in the past three weeks. Both head coaches of the Packers’ opponents in those games have now been fired a day after the Packers completely humiliated their teams. The Dallas Cowboys Wade Phillips was the first casualty. The Minnesota Vikings Brad Childress is now the second. Odd, [...]
Here’s What’s Wrong With The Vikings
Nov 22nd
Well, let’s be honest. There are a lot of things wrong with the Minnesota Vikings, which has us in Green Bay pretty much ecstatic. We really don’t have the time or the will to list everything here. The Vikings suck and they can rot in fucking hell. During Sunday’s 31-3 dismantling at the hands of [...]
They Can’t Do Anything Right In Minnesota
Nov 22nd
Yeah, I know. We’re piling it on the Minnesota Vikings, but if their fans weren’t such a bunch of ignorant, loud-mouthed shitfucks, well, we probably would have already moved on. My point is, they deserve every last kick we’re going to give them while they’re down. They’ve worked hard to earn it. So, the Vikings [...]