We wanted to kill ourselves… wait… no. We’ve found the most brilliant article in the Bleacher Report catalog, which is a gigantic piece of brilliance itself, and it turns out it’s written by a Minnesota Vikings fan. We’ll annotate it for you, since it’s obviously way above any Green Bay Packers fan.
Seriously, this is the dumbest thing you’ll see all day… wait, no, all week. Probably all month for that matter. The Minnesota Vikings are trying to get a new stadium. For the most part, no one cares including the fans.
Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson was asked several questions about the team’s quarterback situation and struggled to say anything positive about rookie Christian Ponder or default incumbent Joe Webb. Peterson suggests he can’t see Ponder starting when the season opens.
We’d expect nothing less from a member of the Minnesota Vikings. Running back Adrian Peterson is ditching his own football camp, which begins tomorrow, claiming he has to film a show for the NFL Network. We’d probably ignore this if the camp wasn’t called the Old Spice Adrian Peterson Football Camp and the NFL Network didn’t say Peterson isn’t filming his spot until July.
There’s been a lot of talk about the Minnesota Vikings moving, specifically to Los Angeles, if the team doesn’t get a new stadium, but that is beginning to look more and more unlikely. The deal the Vikings are trying to craft with the state for a new stadium in suburban Arden Hills is far from done, but it does appear a little closer.
Two of the Minnesota Vikings main offensive weapons, running back Adrian Peterson and receiver Percy Harvin, are lobbying for the team to sign receiver Plaxico Burress, who was released from prison earlier this month. Burress hasn’t played football since 2008 after pleading guilty to gun charges and will be looking for a new home to resume his career when the lockout ends.
Former Minnesota Vikings defensive tackle John Randle, who had a very public rivalry with quarterback Brett Favre when he was with the Green Bay Packers, still doesn’t think much of Favre. In fact, he recently compared Favre to a reality television show. “I’m done following him,” said Randle, who sacked Favre 13.5 times. “That went [...]
We love tales of Minnesota Vikings woe almost as much as we love the Green Bay Packers, so it’s literally impossible for us not to tell you about Pro Football Talk’s list of the team’s four worst moments since 1987, which is the last time there was a lockout. PFT previously looked at the Packers’ four worst moments. The Vikings’ list of failure and ineptitude is much longer, though.
We all know that collection of sheep fuckers, pedophiles, stalkers and Taser bait known as the Minnesota Vikings aren’t the smartest bunch. Oh, that’s right, they canned the pedophile. Nonetheless, the Vikings offense last season under coach Brad Childress and offensive coordinator Darrell Bevell was often too complex for the morons running it.
It’s only speculation at this point, but conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh could be a viable candidate to buy the Minnesota Vikings. The catch is Limbaugh would probably relocate the team to Los Angeles. The Vikings are trying to get the state of Minnesota to cough up money for a new stadium and they haven’t had much luck yet.
In yet another showing of just how much the Minnesota Vikings suck, defensive end Ray Edwards told the media this week he’d rather be a boxer than play for the team next season. Edwards made his professional boxing debut Friday night and thinks he has a better future in the ring than on the field. Really, we’re talking about the Minnesota Vikings here, so who could blame him.
There isn’t much good news to come out of this blight of an offseason, also known as the 2011 NFL lockout, but if there’s a silver lining, it’s this: the Minnesota Vikings are likely to be most affected by it. And when we say affected, we mean negatively. The labor dispute will likely drag into late June, if not July.
Even the coaching staff is getting in on the long-standing Minnesota Vikings tradition or being a completely idiotic douchebag. Defensive line coach Karl Dunbar may soon join the ranks of all-time shitbags like Randy Moss (hitting a police officer), Daunte Culpepper (The Loooooove Boat), Bryant McKinnie (aggravated battery, The Loooooove Boat), Onterrio Smith (The Whizzinator) and Everson Griffen (arrested twice in the same weekend, Tasered).
NFL commissioner Rodger Goodell has agreed to contribute money to the construction of a new Minnesota Vikings stadium after meeting with Gov. Mark Dayton, Tuesday. The amount the league will pitch in hasn’t been disclosed, but it should help ensure the Vikings will both get a new stadium and stay in the Minneapolis area.
It was destined to fail, and it looks like opponents of the latest Vikings stadium proposal have found a way to fuck things up again. A new group, NoVikingsTax.com, says it’s discovered a loophole that would let voters decide whether a new stadium should be built with public money — no matter what the Legislature or Ramsey County do.
There’s not much we enjoy more around these parts than making fun of that joke of an organization known as the Minnesota Vikings. Their debacle of a 2010 season was fitting for so many reasons and frankly, it couldn’t have happened to a greater group of people. Thanks to Fly Over Entertainment, we’ll soon be able to relive the Vikings’ 2010 season in all its glory.
It case you couldn’t hear the groans coming from the west, the Minnesota Vikings selected Florida State quarterback Christian Ponder with the No. 12 overall pick in the 2011 NFL Draft. Some might say the pick was a reach, and I’d be one of those people, but the Vikings were desperate for a young quarterback and quarterbacks were quickly disappearing at that point in the draft. Gone were Cam Newton (No. 1), Jake Locker (No. 8) and Blaine Gabbert (No. 10).