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Detroit Lions

Packers Probably Won’t Have To Deal With Asomugha

Nnamdi Asomugha

The Detroit Lions seem like an obvious suitor for free agent cornerback Nnamdi Asomugha, but are probably too cheap to pay him, which means the Lions secondary should resemble a sieve once again.

Ndamukong Suh Probably Should Play For Vikings

Suh

Detroit Lions defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh probably should play for the Minnesota Vikings. Why? He’s just that stupid. Last week, Suh repeated a proclamation he made in March that everyone with good sense immediately dismissed and then forgot about — the Detroit Lions can go 16-0 this year.

Detroit Lions Now Relevant

Calvin Johnson

We warned you this day was coming. The Detroit Lions, long the bottom feeder of the NFL, are suddenly relevant. No, it isn’t because they reeled off four victories to close the season. It isn’t because they have Pro Bowlers like Calvin Johnson and Ndamukong Suh.

Baby Steps For Detroit Lions

Jim Schwartz

The Detroit Lions actually looked like an NFL team in 2010, two seasons after going 0-16 and nine years after former team president Matt Millen began his single-handed demolition of the organization. After starting 2-10, the Lions reeled off four consecutive victories to finish 6-10. Now there’s discussion the Lions could be considered for a prime-time slot when the new schedule is announced.

Ndamukong Suh Says Lions Can Go 16-0

Ndamukong Suh

No, really, I’m serious. Stop laughing. Defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh really said he thinks the Detroit Lions can go 16-0. “I don’t see there’s a reason why we can’t be 16-0,” Suh said. “As long as we put in that hard work throughout -– I don’t know if we’re going to have OTAs, but throughout […]

Midseason Awards: Total Packers Edition

We gave you the midseason awards: other people’s edition yesterday and we also told you what we thought about midseason awards. The best word to summarize would be this one: indifference. However, we promised you our midseason awards at some point, and here they are. The difference between our midseason awards and other people’s are […]

The Detroit Lions Get Some Good News

Detroit Pride

Wait. Scratch that. After getting robbed by the officials of a victory over the Chicago Bears last week, Detroit Lions fans are actually the ones getting the good news. For the first time in the history of the team, the Lions will have cheerleaders… sort of. According to It’s Always Sunny In Detroit, there will […]

Louis Delmas Will Hurt Your Children

The Detroit Lions don’t do many things right. Add running out of the tunnel to that list. In the video below, everyone makes it out of the tunnel and onto the field just fine, except for Lions safety Louis Delmas. Nope, Delmas carries on the Detroit tradition of futility by running over a bunch of […]

More Kelly Hall Bikini Pics

Kelly Hall and Matthew Stafford

You may remember Kelly Hall as Detroit Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford’s broad. You may just remember her as that hot blond chick who has fake boobs and likes to booze. Either way, there are some more pictures of Hall floating around and since we’re into sharing, we thought we’d share them with you. Apparently, Matty […]

Watch Detroit Lions President Fail Field Sobriety Test

Tom Lewand

I’m not typically one to kick a guy when he’s down, unless that guy is a member of the Minnesota Vikings, but they’re kicking him in Detroit, so we may as well join the party. I’m referring to Detroit Lions president Tom Lewand, who was arrested for DUI (or OWI as it’s apparently called in […]

Matthew Stafford’s Broad Is Still Hot

Kelly Hall

Detroit Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford is no Aaron Rodgers. That goes for off-the-field activities, as well. While Rodgers is working a string of celebrities and models, Stafford is apparently still with the blond cheerleader he met while throwing the pigskin at Georgia. Not that that is a bad thing. She’s no Erin Andrews, but she’s […]

Detroit Lions: Young, Dumb And Full Of…

Delusion. What? Where did you think I was going with that? There aren’t many people who will argue that the Detroit Lions won’t be improved in 2010. Hell, these guys won two games last season, so there’s not much room to get worse. Still, you have to like the way this team is going if […]

Just Like Old Times, Packers Beat Lions

Raji sacks Stafford. Photo: Tony Ding

Or maybe just like last time. The Green Bay Packers beat the Detroit Lions 34-12, in a game reminiscent of the last time the two teams met in October. The game wasn’t really in doubt at any point, but the Packers hardly looked dominant against an opponent that was clearly overmatched. That was less due […]

Johnson, Stafford May Miss Green Bay Game

Megatron is likely out for Thursday.

Any chance the Detroit Lions had to mount a challenge against the Green Bay Packers on Thanksgiving Day flew out the window with Monday’s news that QB Matthew Stafford and wide receiver Calvin Johnson will likely miss the game due to injuries. Stafford separated his left shoulder on the second-to-last play in Detroit’s win over […]

Matthew Stafford Is The Man! But Not Really

The legend of Detroit Lions rookie quarterback Matthew Stafford began yesterday. Stafford threw for five touchdowns and a rookie-record 422 yards, as the Lions rallied for a 38-37 victory over the Cleveland Browns. However, that isn’t quite the whole story. Stafford threw the game-winning touchdown pass with zero seconds on the clock after suffering a […]

Packers Drub Lions, But Look Ugly Doing It

AP Photo/Jeffrey Phelps

Kudos to the Green Bay Packers for taking it to the lowly Matt Stafford- and Calvin Johnson-less (and later, Daunte Culpepper-less) Detroit Lions at Lambeau Field on Sunday. The 26-0 shutout keeps the Packers’ home winning streak against the Lions alive at 19 games and gives the team a much-needed boost coming off their bye […]

Lions Winning Respect in NFL, But Not in Detroit

I love this Detroit News column that proclaims “Lions winning respect in NFL,” and then basically goes on to say that the Lions suck and are going to lose to the Green Bay Packers this weekend. After the feel good headline are these words. When the Lions go on the road to play the Green […]

Lions Stafford, Johnson Doubtful for Sunday

Calvin Johnson

Well, I told you the Green Bay Packers were about to get healthy. Detroit Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford and stud wide receiver Calvin Johnson both missed practice again on Friday. This was the second day Stafford has missed practice this week. Johnson hasn’t practiced at all. Both players are battling knee injuries and are unlikely […]

Bet Big: Lions May Be Without Stafford, Johnson on Sunday

Matthew Stafford

If you’re a betting man or woman, now might be the time to consider placing a large wager on the Green Bay Packers in their contest with the Detroit Lions, this Sunday. As of today, it seems probable that the Lions could be without their two biggest offensive weapons when they face the Packers. Neither […]

Welcome Back, Detroit

Look, we have no love for the Detroit Lions here at Total Packers, but it was good to see them break their 18-game losing streak yesterday. The Lions won’t be contending for the NFC North title anytime soon, but it looks like they will at least be competitive in most of the games they play […]