Detroit Lions

First Of All, Fuck The Lions

Greg Jennings

The Detroit Lions were supposed to challenge the Green Bay Packers on Thanksgiving, but they didn’t do shit. We got drunk and they failed as a contender.

Detroit Lions Don’t Give Two Shits If You Don’t Like Nickelback

Nickelback

When the Green Bay Packers travel to Detroit for their Thanksgiving game against the Lions, you’re going to be treated to a halftime show featuring Nickelback, despite fan objections. That’s totally awesome, just like Nickelback’s music!

Nickelback To Play Packers/Lions Game? Not If Fans Can Help It

The NFL has tabbed Nickelback to play the Detroit Lions Thanksgiving tilt with the Green Bay Packers. Some fans in Detroit are trying to stop this obvious mistake before it happens. Here’s how you can help.

Tim Tebow Gets Tebowed After Sack

Stephen Tulloch Tebowing

Detroit Lions linebacker Stephen Tulloch goes Tebowing after sacking Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow. If you don’t know what we’re talking about, then here’s your need to know!

Funny Or Die Presents Millenball

Millenball

Funny Or Die has given us the awesome tribute to the awesomeness that was Matt Millen when he ran the Detroit Lions. Based on Moneyball, Millenball sums up the Millen era nicely.

NFC North: Lions’ Big Loss, Bears Still Idiots, Busted In Minnesota

Mikel Leshoure

You’ve got to love the NFC North. Outside of Green Bay, it’s populated with a bunch of idiots. The Chicago Bears are run by idiots. Minnesota Vikings players can’t stop getting arrested. In Detroit, they may not be stupid, but we’ll bet the hype died down a little bit today.

NFC North: Free Agents, New Starters And Other Nonsense

Jay Cutler

The three teams competing for second place in the NFC North have been working real hard to take home that trophy this offseason. Here are the latest developments from Chicago, Minnesota and Detroit.

Packers Probably Won’t Have To Deal With Asomugha

Nnamdi Asomugha

The Detroit Lions seem like an obvious suitor for free agent cornerback Nnamdi Asomugha, but are probably too cheap to pay him, which means the Lions secondary should resemble a sieve once again.

Ndamukong Suh Probably Should Play For Vikings

Suh

Detroit Lions defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh probably should play for the Minnesota Vikings. Why? He’s just that stupid. Last week, Suh repeated a proclamation he made in March that everyone with good sense immediately dismissed and then forgot about — the Detroit Lions can go 16-0 this year.

Detroit Lions Now Relevant

Calvin Johnson

We warned you this day was coming. The Detroit Lions, long the bottom feeder of the NFL, are suddenly relevant. No, it isn’t because they reeled off four victories to close the season. It isn’t because they have Pro Bowlers like Calvin Johnson and Ndamukong Suh.

Baby Steps For Detroit Lions

Jim Schwartz

The Detroit Lions actually looked like an NFL team in 2010, two seasons after going 0-16 and nine years after former team president Matt Millen began his single-handed demolition of the organization. After starting 2-10, the Lions reeled off four consecutive victories to finish 6-10. Now there’s discussion the Lions could be considered for a prime-time slot when the new schedule is announced.

Ndamukong Suh Says Lions Can Go 16-0

Ndamukong Suh

No, really, I’m serious. Stop laughing. Defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh really said he thinks the Detroit Lions can go 16-0. “I don’t see there’s a reason why we can’t be 16-0,” Suh said. “As long as we put in that hard work throughout -– I don’t know if we’re going to have OTAs, but throughout […]

Midseason Awards: Total Packers Edition

We gave you the midseason awards: other people’s edition yesterday and we also told you what we thought about midseason awards. The best word to summarize would be this one: indifference. However, we promised you our midseason awards at some point, and here they are. The difference between our midseason awards and other people’s are […]

The Detroit Lions Get Some Good News

Detroit Pride

Wait. Scratch that. After getting robbed by the officials of a victory over the Chicago Bears last week, Detroit Lions fans are actually the ones getting the good news. For the first time in the history of the team, the Lions will have cheerleaders… sort of. According to It’s Always Sunny In Detroit, there will […]

Louis Delmas Will Hurt Your Children

The Detroit Lions don’t do many things right. Add running out of the tunnel to that list. In the video below, everyone makes it out of the tunnel and onto the field just fine, except for Lions safety Louis Delmas. Nope, Delmas carries on the Detroit tradition of futility by running over a bunch of […]

More Kelly Hall Bikini Pics

Kelly Hall and Matthew Stafford

You may remember Kelly Hall as Detroit Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford’s broad. You may just remember her as that hot blond chick who has fake boobs and likes to booze. Either way, there are some more pictures of Hall floating around and since we’re into sharing, we thought we’d share them with you. Apparently, Matty […]

Watch Detroit Lions President Fail Field Sobriety Test

Tom Lewand

I’m not typically one to kick a guy when he’s down, unless that guy is a member of the Minnesota Vikings, but they’re kicking him in Detroit, so we may as well join the party. I’m referring to Detroit Lions president Tom Lewand, who was arrested for DUI (or OWI as it’s apparently called in […]

Matthew Stafford’s Broad Is Still Hot

Kelly Hall

Detroit Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford is no Aaron Rodgers. That goes for off-the-field activities, as well. While Rodgers is working a string of celebrities and models, Stafford is apparently still with the blond cheerleader he met while throwing the pigskin at Georgia. Not that that is a bad thing. She’s no Erin Andrews, but she’s […]

Detroit Lions: Young, Dumb And Full Of…

Delusion. What? Where did you think I was going with that? There aren’t many people who will argue that the Detroit Lions won’t be improved in 2010. Hell, these guys won two games last season, so there’s not much room to get worse. Still, you have to like the way this team is going if […]

Just Like Old Times, Packers Beat Lions

Raji sacks Stafford. Photo: Tony Ding

Or maybe just like last time. The Green Bay Packers beat the Detroit Lions 34-12, in a game reminiscent of the last time the two teams met in October. The game wasn’t really in doubt at any point, but the Packers hardly looked dominant against an opponent that was clearly overmatched. That was less due […]