Detroit Lions
Midseason Awards: Total Packers Edition
Nov 5th
We gave you the midseason awards: other people’s edition yesterday and we also told you what we thought about midseason awards. The best word to summarize would be this one: indifference. However, we promised you our midseason awards at some point, and here they are. The difference between our midseason awards and other people’s are [...]
The Detroit Lions Get Some Good News
Sep 16th
Wait. Scratch that. After getting robbed by the officials of a victory over the Chicago Bears last week, Detroit Lions fans are actually the ones getting the good news. For the first time in the history of the team, the Lions will have cheerleaders… sort of. According to It’s Always Sunny In Detroit, there will [...]
Louis Delmas Will Hurt Your Children
Aug 31st
The Detroit Lions don’t do many things right. Add running out of the tunnel to that list. In the video below, everyone makes it out of the tunnel and onto the field just fine, except for Lions safety Louis Delmas. Nope, Delmas carries on the Detroit tradition of futility by running over a bunch of [...]
More Kelly Hall Bikini Pics
Jul 18th
You may remember Kelly Hall as Detroit Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford’s broad. You may just remember her as that hot blond chick who has fake boobs and likes to booze. Either way, there are some more pictures of Hall floating around and since we’re into sharing, we thought we’d share them with you. Apparently, Matty [...]
Watch Detroit Lions President Fail Field Sobriety Test
Jun 29th
I’m not typically one to kick a guy when he’s down, unless that guy is a member of the Minnesota Vikings, but they’re kicking him in Detroit, so we may as well join the party. I’m referring to Detroit Lions president Tom Lewand, who was arrested for DUI (or OWI as it’s apparently called in [...]
Matthew Stafford’s Broad Is Still Hot
Jun 25th
Detroit Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford is no Aaron Rodgers. That goes for off-the-field activities, as well. While Rodgers is working a string of celebrities and models, Stafford is apparently still with the blond cheerleader he met while throwing the pigskin at Georgia. Not that that is a bad thing. She’s no Erin Andrews, but she’s [...]
Detroit Lions: Young, Dumb And Full Of…
Jun 16th
Delusion. What? Where did you think I was going with that? There aren’t many people who will argue that the Detroit Lions won’t be improved in 2010. Hell, these guys won two games last season, so there’s not much room to get worse. Still, you have to like the way this team is going if [...]
Just Like Old Times, Packers Beat Lions
Nov 26th
Or maybe just like last time. The Green Bay Packers beat the Detroit Lions 34-12, in a game reminiscent of the last time the two teams met in October. The game wasn’t really in doubt at any point, but the Packers hardly looked dominant against an opponent that was clearly overmatched. That was less due [...]
Johnson, Stafford May Miss Green Bay Game
Nov 24th
Any chance the Detroit Lions had to mount a challenge against the Green Bay Packers on Thanksgiving Day flew out the window with Monday’s news that QB Matthew Stafford and wide receiver Calvin Johnson will likely miss the game due to injuries. Stafford separated his left shoulder on the second-to-last play in Detroit’s win over [...]
Matthew Stafford Is The Man! But Not Really
Nov 23rd
The legend of Detroit Lions rookie quarterback Matthew Stafford began yesterday. Stafford threw for five touchdowns and a rookie-record 422 yards, as the Lions rallied for a 38-37 victory over the Cleveland Browns. However, that isn’t quite the whole story. Stafford threw the game-winning touchdown pass with zero seconds on the clock after suffering a [...]
Packers Drub Lions, But Look Ugly Doing It
Oct 18th
Kudos to the Green Bay Packers for taking it to the lowly Matt Stafford- and Calvin Johnson-less (and later, Daunte Culpepper-less) Detroit Lions at Lambeau Field on Sunday. The 26-0 shutout keeps the Packers’ home winning streak against the Lions alive at 19 games and gives the team a much-needed boost coming off their bye [...]
Lions Winning Respect in NFL, But Not in Detroit
Oct 17th
I love this Detroit News column that proclaims “Lions winning respect in NFL,” and then basically goes on to say that the Lions suck and are going to lose to the Green Bay Packers this weekend. After the feel good headline are these words. When the Lions go on the road to play the Green [...]
Lions Stafford, Johnson Doubtful for Sunday
Oct 16th
Well, I told you the Green Bay Packers were about to get healthy. Detroit Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford and stud wide receiver Calvin Johnson both missed practice again on Friday. This was the second day Stafford has missed practice this week. Johnson hasn’t practiced at all. Both players are battling knee injuries and are unlikely [...]
Bet Big: Lions May Be Without Stafford, Johnson on Sunday
Oct 15th
If you’re a betting man or woman, now might be the time to consider placing a large wager on the Green Bay Packers in their contest with the Detroit Lions, this Sunday. As of today, it seems probable that the Lions could be without their two biggest offensive weapons when they face the Packers. Neither [...]
Welcome Back, Detroit
Sep 28th
Look, we have no love for the Detroit Lions here at Total Packers, but it was good to see them break their 18-game losing streak yesterday. The Lions won’t be contending for the NFC North title anytime soon, but it looks like they will at least be competitive in most of the games they play [...]
At Least We’re Not Detroit Lions Fans
Sep 22nd
Or, perhaps more accurately, at least we’re not this Detroit Lions’ fan. Sure, the Green Bay Packers had a terrible day on Sunday, and have a lot of issues that need to be addressed, but things could be worse. I don’t think anyone had a worse day, with possibly the exception of Daryn Colledge, than [...]
NFC North Preview
Sep 9th
Yesterday, I wrote about how the NFC North is shaping up as the strongest division in football, which says one thing: this division will be both tough and competitive. Any one of three teams has a legitimate opportunity to win the NFC North. In addition to the Green Bay Packers, the Chicago Bears and Minnesota [...]
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, And So Does Matthew Stafford
Aug 5th
Although this is totally unrelated to the Green Bay Packers, it is related to our pathetic nemesis to the east, the Detroit Lions. Specifically, Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford. You know, the number one overall pick in the 2009 NFL Draft. Ever wonder what it would be like to be the number one pick in the [...]
In Other News, The Lions Still Suck
May 20th
Kevin Smith – always high. While the ESPN’s of the world are pouring every bit of manpower into monitoring a certain quarterback’s broken throwing arm (by the way, he is either getting surgery, not getting surgery, talking to doctors, coming back, or not coming back, depending on who you read), we’ve been off doing more [...]
The Lions Suck, and So Does Their New Logo
Mar 26th
From MLive.com Actually, the logo is not that bad, but who could resist reminding the Detroit Lions and their fans that their team and everything about it is the absolute worst in the NFL… ever? Certainly not me. I couldn’t quite figure out the Lion at first. It looked like the old Lion with some [...]