Detroit Lions

Total Douche Thinks Jim Schwartz Pulled Total Douche Move

Jim Schwartz

Jim Schwartz is a total douche. Golden Tate is a total douche. The latter total douche thinks the former total douche pulled a real douche move and he’s right.

Jim Schwartz Carried Off, Neck Beard Celebrates Like Mad

Kyle Orton celebrating

The Detroit Lions blew a 14-0 lead to lose to the Buffalo Bills on Sunday. Great moment for both Jim Schwartz and Neck Beard, who celebrated in style.

Stephen Tulloch is One Dumb Bastard

Detroit Lions linebacker Stephen Tulloch learned the hard way on Sunday. Don’t use another guy’s signature move, you dumb bastard.

Predictions: Green Bay Packers vs. Detroit Lions

Calvin Johnson: slam dunk

Green Bay Packers vs. Detroit Lions. This matchup looks pretty much the same as it did last year and the year before. Here’s how we’re picking it.

Ruh-Roh, Detroit

Danny Gorrer

The Detroit Lions have some real issues in the secondary this week. That’s great news for Aaron Rodgers and company.

Josh Sitton Still Thinks the Lions are Scumbags

Ndamukong Suh stomp

Green Bay Packers guard Josh Sitton still thinks the Detroit Lions are a bunch of scumbags and of course he’s right.

Scott Mitchell is a Fat Fuck

Scott Mitchell

Detroit Lions legend Scott Mitchell has hilariously ballooned to 366 pounds. He’s got the shirt and double chin to prove it! Great for a laugh.

Ndamukong Suh Gets Into it with Packers Fan

Ndamukong Suh on American Muscle

The Detroit Lions Ndamukong Suh made an appearance on American Muscle, where he gets into it with the resident Green Bay Packers fan. Quality entertainment.

These New Detroit Lions Are Cute

Detroit Lions tight end Eric Ebron

These new Detroit Lions have some interesting notions. First-round pick Eric Ebron actually thinks the Lions might win the Super Bowl some day. Isn’t that cute?

Why the Detroit Lions Suck

Detroit Lions suck

The Detroit Lions suck. You know it, I know it, they know it and the entire state of Michigan knows it. The 2014 Detroit Lions will suck too. They’re the Lions.

Check Out This Idiot Detroit Lions Fan

Detroit Lions Super Bowl tattoo

Hope springs eternal for at least one Detroit Lions fan. He’s David Morian and he just got a tattoo proclaiming the Lions 2015 Super Bowl champs. Well done.

Detroit Lions Bring Back Someone from Their Glory Year

Detroit Lions great Dan Orlovsky

The Detroit Lions are so laughable that they’re not even fun to hate. Today, they remind us of their great 2008 team by signing quarterback Dan Orlovsky.

Kelly Hall and Butterball are Engaged

Kelly Hall

Detroit Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford, AKA Butterball, has gotten engaged to longtime girlfriend Kelly Hall. Way to make an honest woman out of that broad!

Mike Ditka Does Not Like Matthew Stafford’s Frat Boy Image

Matthew Stafford, brah!

ESPN analyst and former Chicago Bears coach Mike Ditka was asked about the Detroit Lions. And, well, he would like you to know he doesn’t like Matthew Stafford’s backwards hat.

Lions Have Hired Vince’s Grandson, Joe Lombardi as OC

Joe Lombardi

The Detroit Lions have hired New Orleans Saints quarterbacks coach Joe Lombardi as their offensive coordinator. He is the grandson of Vince Lombardi.

Here’s the Detroit Lions Way of Wishing Jim Caldwell Happy Birthday

Jim Caldwell

A first-class organization, those Detroit Lions. It was their new coach, Jim Caldwell’s birthday today. Here’s how they wished him happy birthday.

Jim Caldwell is the Detroit Lions New Coach

Jim Caldwell

The Detroit Lions have gone out and hired Baltimore Ravens offensive coordinator Jim Caldwell as their new coach. Way to go Detroit Lions!

Minnesota Vikings and Detroit Lions are Getting New Coaches

Leslie Frazier

The Minnesota Vikings and Detroit Lions had pretty miserable seasons in 2013, so they did the obvious and fired their head coaches today. So long Leslie Frazier and good riddance Jim Schwartz.

Hey, Detroit Lions Fans Got Their Playoff Tickets Today

Detroit Lions coach Jim Schwartz

Some Detroit Lions fans got their playoff tickets today… even though the Detroit Lions are not in the playoffs. We can totally empathize.

Detroit Lions Fan Writes Letter to Team About Why He’s Quitting

Detroit Lions coach Jim Schwartz

The Detroit Lions blew it again and that caused one fan to write an epic letter to the team’s executives explaining to them whey he’s resigning.