Cincinnati Bengals

Marshall Newhouse is Someone Else’s Problem Now

Marshall Newhouse

Go ahead and breathe a sigh of relief. Tackle Marshall Newhouse is no longer the Green Bay Packers’ problem. He’s signed with the Cincinnati Bengals.

Five More Things on Packers Loss to Bengals

Aaron Rodgers: sucking

The Green Bay Packers dropped a terrible 34-30 decision to the Cincinnati Bengals on Sunday. Here’s what we think in the aftermath of that debacle.

Packers Fumble Their Way to a Loss in Cincinnati

Aaron Rodgers: sucking

The Green Bay Packers, especially quarterback Aaron Rodgers, shit all over themselves in a 34-30 loss to the lesser Cincinnati Bengals in week three.

Cincinnati Bengals Cheerleaders Are, Uh…

Cincinnati Bengals cheerleaders

That team we’re playing this week has a cheerleading squad and, uh… well… Here are the highlights from the Cincinnati Bengals cheerleaders.

Saturday Wild Card Preview

Drew Brees

Here’s a look at Saturday’s Wild Card playoff games — Detroit Lions vs. New Orleans Saints and Cincinnati Bengals vs. Houston Texans. We tell you what to expect and what we expect the results will be.

A Tale of Two Teams

When it all came apart

First, there were the two losses to the hated division rival and the former face of the franchise, Brett Lorenzo Favre. Then, there was the demoralizing loss to the only winless team in the league, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Most recently, there was the “come-to-Jesus” offensive meeting during which several players “really had it out” […]

Ochocinco Had Plants!

Ochocinco Lambeau Leap

I’m sure you were thinking what the rest of us were thinking when Cincinnati Bengals’ receiver Chad Ochocinco did the Lambeau Leap on Sunday – what scumbags from Green Bay sold those idiots their tickets? Well, we may never know how the transaction went down, and with good reason. If I were the asshole who […]

The Green Bay Packers Are Bad

football, green bay packers, american football, total packers, green bay packers news, green bay packers schedule, green bay packers tickets

There, I said it. The Green Bay Packers are bad, and it’s depressing. It’s become pretty apparent why the Green Bay Packers are bad, too, after a 31-24 loss to the Cincinnati Bengals at Lambeau Field. This is a Bengals team that scored seven points last week against the Denver Broncos. That’s seven points against […]

Bengals 31, Packers 24 – Observations and Opinions

Chad Ochocinco Lambeau Leap

To quote The Jeffrey Lebwoski, the plan has crashed into the mountain. More painfully one sided than the close score suggests, yesterday’s Green Bay Packers’ 31-24 defeat to the lowly Cincinnati Bengals exposed more weaknesses and vulnerabilities for the Packers. The Packers’ offensive line play was even shakier than last week and aside from a […]

Good Morning From Total Packers

Hi. We’re not going to beat around the bush this morning. We wanted to live blog during the game, but fuck. We’re fucking hungover. I don’t mean that we got really drunk last night, because hell, we certainly did that. I mean, we got really fucking drunk last night, and then had a bunch of […]

What To Do About Ochocinco

As I’m sure you’ve heard by now, Cincinnati Bengals receiver Chad Ochocinco wants to do the Lambeau Leap this Sunday when he comes to town to face the Green Bay Packers. “I’m just really focused on going out there and having some fun, and looking to be embraced by the Packers fans, and hopefully I […]