Chicago Bears
NFC North Preview
Sep 9th
Yesterday, I wrote about how the NFC North is shaping up as the strongest division in football, which says one thing: this division will be both tough and competitive. Any one of three teams has a legitimate opportunity to win the NFC North. In addition to the Green Bay Packers, the Chicago Bears and Minnesota [...]
Driver Happy, Kampman Speaks, Bears Still Suck
Jun 4th
Today’s word on your Green Bay Packers is just that. Wide receiver Donald Driver has shown up at the Packers OTAs and was on the practice field for the first time yesterday. Driver admitted he is in contract discussions with the Packers, but his absence has been due to non-football-related matters, specifically, a relative of [...]
The Bears Still Suck, But…
Apr 9th
Yes, the Chicago Bears still suck, even after their much-hyped acquisition of quarterback Jay Cutler. However, it looks as if the Bears are doing their best to change this phenomenon (sucking) that has grasped their organization since its inception. Even though the Bears nabbed Cutler from the Denver Broncos last week, and have a potential [...]
Lovie Gets A New Toy: How Bernard Pollard Screwed The Packers
Apr 2nd
Personally, I think the NFL blogosphere needs more paranoid conspiracy theories and superstition. With this article, TotalPackers.com will try to do just that – I will examine a fascinating chain reaction of retarded events that may culminate in the Chicago Bears becoming relevant once again, much to the chagrin of my beloved Green Bay Packers. [...]
Simms to the Bears?
Feb 18th
The free agency rumor mill has started spinning and while most of the speculation will revolve around guys like Albert Haynesworth and Julius Peppers, an interesting item came out of Chicago today. While he will never be confused with his father, Phil, it appears that the Chicago Bears are interested in quarterback Chris Simms, and [...]
Tis the Season of Giving
Dec 23rd
And that’s just what the Green Bay Packers did last night – gave those scumbags from Chicago a 20-17 overtime victory. This one turned to shit in the third quarter, when the cursed Jarrett Bush let a Chicago punt bounce off his backside. After that, the Bears gained momentum that never came back to the [...]
Bears Fan Checklist
Dec 22nd
Tonight, on Monday Night Football, the Green Bay Packers will try to (somewhat) salvage their season by throwing a giant wrench in the hated Chicago Bears playoff hopes. While I will certainly be belligerently drunk by halftime, I thought I’d start the day out with a little tribute to Chicago Bears’ fans, who rank behind [...]
Packers ‘Bearly’ Sneak by Chicago 37-3
Nov 17th
Coming off two heartbreakingly close losses in a row, the Green Bay Packers desperately needed a win on Sunday to keep their division championship hopes alive. The Chicago Bears gave the Packers everything they had for the first two minutes or so, but in the end, Green Bay emerged from the hard fought game as [...]
Who Still Sucks?
Nov 17th
The Chicago Bears. That’s who. How’s this for some Monday morning, in-depth analysis?
Packers vs. Seahawks Quick Notes
Oct 13th
I’d be a lot more excited about the Green Bay Packers 27-17 win over the Seattle Seahawks if I didn’t already know that Seattle is truly an awful team. But as they say in Cliche Town, “a win is a win.” THE GOOD Aaron Rodgers is still playing well. On top of that, his shoulder [...]
NFC North Standings After Two Weeks…
Sep 15th
This is really all I have to say. NFC North Green Bay Packers: 2-0 Chicago Bears: 1-1 Detroit Lions: 0-2 Minnesota Vikings: 0-2 I don’t know if I am happier the Green Bay Packers are in first, or that the Minnesota Vikings are 0-2 and in [...]
Forbes – Packers Worth $1 Billion
Sep 13th
Forbes released their annual valuation of NFL teams on Friday. The Packers ranked 16th, with a total valuation of just over $1 billion, which isn’t bad for a small-market franchise. Dallas came in first at $1.6 billion. The Packers valuation is a 10 percent increase over last year, although analysts predict the team will take [...]
Two Words: Tarvaris Jackson
Jun 23rd
It’s the reason the Minnesota Vikings won’t win the Super Bowl, but that didn’t stop Sports Illustrated’s football guru, Dr. Z, from picking them to do just that. I offer you these two nuggets to back up my theory. 1. The Rex Grossman Theory Very few people will debate the Chicago Bears fielded a pretty [...]
We’re Idiots, But The Bears Still Suck
Apr 23rd
First, news from the scrap heap. Word out of Green Bay is the Packers brought in Daunte for a visit today. Yes, that Daunte. Culpepper – the guy who couldn’t hold on to a job in Miami OR Oakland, and was once, when he was still worth a shit, the leader of the hated Minnesota [...]