Chicago Bears

An Uprising Of Support From Broncos Country

Jay Cutler

Face it. No one likes the Chicago Bears except for FIBs and maybe two people in Iowa. The point was once again reinforced when Steffen, the other mastermind behind this venerable institution known as Total Packers, asked one of our friends, and one of biggest Denver Broncos fans on the planet, to ask his brethren […]

Hello, From Brian Urlacher

Brian Urlacher

The Bears Still Suck, Now Even Better!

Is The Bears Still Suck the greatest song ever recorded? I don’t know, but it’s close. As if you needed a reason to find additional enjoyment in this classic number, here it is. Two young lads perform their version. It warms my heart. (Via Guyism)

Hest Is The Best!

This will make your taint hurt, but it will also make you laugh. Why? Because it’s stupidest piece of crap you’ll see all week. That’s right. We’ve got more fan-composed music videos for you, but this one comes from Chicago, where they love Bears kick returner Devin Hester. Hence the title of this flaming pile, […]

This Is Every Chicago Bears Fan I Know

Chicago Bears fans are the bane of my existence, this week. They’ve already started talking shit. They might as well have their fun now because they’re not going to have any after Sunday. I’m just going to bide my time until then. On Sunday I’ll unleash the fucking fury and make them sorry they were […]

Let The Hype Machine Spin Out Of Control!

Jay Cutler

By the time the Green Bay Packers play the Chicago Bears on Sunday for the NFC Championship, you’re going to be sick of hearing about the Green Bay Packers playing the Chicago Bears for the NFC Championship. The Packers and Bears have only met once in the playoffs — in 1941, a Bears’ win. Of […]

Bears Won’t Rest Their Starters

Lovie Smith

The Chicago Bears have already wrapped up the NFC North title, but that won’t keep them from playing their starters in what may or may not be a meaningless game against the Green Bay Packers, on Sunday. In all likelihood, the Bears will be playing for a first-round bye in the playoffs, unless the Minnesota […]

The Chicago Bears Are NFC North Champions

Jay Cutler

At least it isn’t the Minnesota Vikings. The Chicago Bears nailed down the NFC North title Monday night by destroying the aforementioned poor excuse for an NFL franchise, 40-14. The Bears are 10-4 and can finish no worse than 10-6. If the Green Bay Packers finish with the same record by winning their last two […]

The Chicago Bears Might, Kinda Be For Real

No one has really taken the Chicago Bears seriously this year, particularly in these parts. In fact, they only beat the Green Bay Packers because the Packers handed them the game on a silver platter with a team-record 18 penalties, terrible special teams play, and poor coaching decisions by Mike McCarthy. Still, a win is […]

Remember When The Packers/Bears Rivalry Was Cool?

Jim McMahon

This is a different NFL than the NFL of the 1960s or even the 1980s, for that matter. In those days, the Green Bay Packers and Chicago Bears generally disliked each other. Today, members of the two teams in the NFL’s most storied rivalry like to slobber all over each other. Case in point: the […]

Ah, The Chicago Bears

What a bunch of cunts. Despite their 2-0 start, the Bears… wait for it…

Mouth Breathers Unite! But Don’t Pass Out

It’s Chicago Bears week and before I get to trashing the Bears I will say this: the Bears look pretty good this year, particularly on offense. The Green Bay Packers will be tested on Monday night in Chicago. Now that that’s out of the way, let me get to the point. The Chicago Bears and […]

Glenn Beck Thinks Brian Urlacher Is A Neo-Nazi

Glenn Beck is an idiot, this we know. However, I had to laugh when Beck called Chicago Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher a neo-nazi. Here’s the setup. Beck was one of 33 people named to TheRoot.com list, The Blackest White Folks We Know. It makes little sense to include a rambling conservative talk show host, but […]

Watch The Packers Take Some Good Old Fashioned Cheap Shots On The Bears

Man, the Green Bay Packers under coach Forrest Gregg were terrible, but if there’s one thing you could count on, it’s that they’d lay some cheap shots on the Chicago Bears. The Bears were good, especially in 1985 and 1986, and the Packers really had no business being on the same field with them at […]

T.O. To Chicago?

That has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? Really, I could care less what the Chicago Bears do. They’re still going to be the third or fourth best team in the NFC North if they sign Jesus Christ himself, but… Word is, free agent receiver Terrell Owens was in Chicago this week for some […]

Da Bears Super Fans Movie That Wasn’t

Those of us who are of a certain age fondly remember Saturday Night Live’s Super Fans, the sausage-eating, beer-drinking Chicago Bears’ fans played at one time or another by George Wendt, Joe Mantegna, Robert Smigel, Chris Farley, Mike Myers and John Goodman, whose answer to just about everything was, Da Bears! or Ditka. Yes, they […]

Bears Still Third Best In Division

Julius Peppers

I’ll be honest, I like to laugh at the Chicago Bears, whether they’re mortgaging their future to acquire Jay Cutler, pretending they have serviceable wide receivers or completely bungling their search for an offensive coordinator. Under general manager Jerry Angelo, the Bears are funny. And yes, I mean funny like a clown. So, the Bears […]

Bears Can’t Give Away Defensive Coordinator Job

Rod Marinelli

Much like their open offensive coordinator position, which they finally filled with their seventh choice, the Chicago Bears couldn’t find a defensive coordinator. So, on Friday they decided to give up and make assistant head coach/defensive line coach Rod Marinelli their defensive coordinator. Wait a minute, you say? I know this Marinelli guy! You sure […]

Chicago Bears Settle For Mike Martz

Mike Martz

The spin machine is working overtime in Chicago where the Bears have hired former St. Louis Rams coach Mike Martz as their offensive coordinator. The disaster that is the Chicago Bears organization tells it like this: Martz was the Bears first choice all along and the only one offered the job. In reality, the Bears […]

Resentment on the Packers’ Coaching Staff?

Tom Clements

The Green Bay Packers may have some resentment to deal with on their coaching staff in the coming months. Back in early January the Packers denied the Chicago Bears permission to speak to quarterbacks coach Tom Clements about their open offensive coordinator position. At the time, I just laughed, but the Packers move may have […]