Chicago Bears

Create Your Own Chicago Bears License Plate!

Chicago Bears license plate

The gods have smiled on us today, friends! The state of Illinois has introduced Chicago Bears license plates so people from Illinois can be even more obnoxious and look even dumber while they’re trashing the fine state of Wisconsin this summer. That’s not the great part, though. The great part is, you can go online […]

Lovie Smith: Still An Idiot

Lovie Smith

After Chicago Bears coach Lovie Smith led his team to the NFC North title and NFC Championship game last season, I began to develop some respect for him. Since then, he’s done nothing but prove my initial feeling about him correct. He’s a complete idiot.

Iron Mike Cuts A Rug!

They were even dumber in Chicago in the 1980s. If you remember the idiots who wrote the song about Chicago Bears return man Devin Hester, and you thought it couldn’t get any worse, you were sadly mistaken. Today, we bring you this gem, which is obviously from the ’80s and features former Bears coach Mike Ditka doing, among other things, tearing up the dance floor, playing foosball by himself and carrying a clipboard around the club.

Would The Real Jay Cutler Please Stand Up?

Jay Cutler

I’m not clever enough to write an entire article referencing Eminem’s popular song in witty sorts of ways, nor would I want any of you to think I’m a fan of his. So, the analogies cease here and onto the real question: does anyone else find it hilarious that Jay Cutler’s namesake is this meathead? […]

Lovie Smith Gets His Extension, Talks Up Cutler

Lovie Smith

The Chicago Bears have given coach Lovie Smith a two-year contract extension.

Smith, who was entering the final year of a four-year contract, made $5.5 million under his old deal, making him one of the highest-paid coaches in the NFL. Assuming he didn’t take a pay cut, Smith makes slightly more than Green Bay Packers coach Mike McCarthy, who recently signed an extension paying him an average of $5 million a year.

Quitler

Remember when Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler quit on his team during the second half of the NFC Championship game against the Green Bay Packers because his vagina hurt?

In case you forgot about it, I thought now would be as good a time as any to remind you.

Dave Duerson Committed Suicide

Dave Duerson

When I heard former Chicago Bears safety Dave Duerson died on Thursday, I didn’t pay much attention.

People die every day.

Things changed on Saturday, however, when it was revealed Duerson committed suicide by shooting himself in the chest.

They’re Despondent In Chicago

Jay Cutler

2010 was a good season for the Chicago Bears — they won the NFC North, they made it to the NFC Championship game, and… yeah, well, they lost to a hated division rival with the Super Bowl on the line.

That’s gotta leave a bad taste in your mouth.

Coincidence?

Chicago Bears

What’s the phrase? A picture is worth a thousand words? This one might be worth a million.

Bill Murray Thinks Ray Nitschke Is A Pussy

Bill Murray

Bill Murray is awesome. He’s also a Chicago Bears fan, which makes him a little less… scratch that — a lot less awesome. Apparently, Murray was at the NFC Championship game last weekend, cheering on his Bears as they fell to the mighty Green Bay Packers. Sorry, Bill. Anyway, here’s a story we picked up […]

Peppers Fined For Hit On Rodgers

Chicago Bears defensive end Julius Peppers was fined $10,000 by the NFL for his helmet-to-helmet hit on Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers in the NFC Championship game. The hit occurred at the 11:20 mark in the fourth quarter and it drew a personal foul penalty. It also looked cheap as fuck, but Rodgers didn’t […]

Obama Gets A Green Bay Welcome

Barack Obama

President Barack Obama flew into Green Bay this morning for an appearance and speech in Manitowoc. When he landed, the Chicago Bears fan was the recipient of two Green Bay Packers jerseys. The second, which is pictured above, was Charles Woodson’s No. 21 with the following personally signed message. “To President Obama See you at […]

Poor Chicago

No one likes the Bears

Like Rodney Dangerfield, the Chicago Bears get no respect. Just take a look at the results of this SportsNation poll. In case you can’t quite see it, every state in the nation other than Illinois is picking the Green Bay Packers to beat the Bears, this weekend. Although Indiana is red, meaning the highest percentage […]

An Uprising Of Support From Broncos Country

Jay Cutler

Face it. No one likes the Chicago Bears except for FIBs and maybe two people in Iowa. The point was once again reinforced when Steffen, the other mastermind behind this venerable institution known as Total Packers, asked one of our friends, and one of biggest Denver Broncos fans on the planet, to ask his brethren […]

Hello, From Brian Urlacher

Brian Urlacher

The Bears Still Suck, Now Even Better!

Is The Bears Still Suck the greatest song ever recorded? I don’t know, but it’s close. As if you needed a reason to find additional enjoyment in this classic number, here it is. Two young lads perform their version. It warms my heart. (Via Guyism)

Hest Is The Best!

This will make your taint hurt, but it will also make you laugh. Why? Because it’s stupidest piece of crap you’ll see all week. That’s right. We’ve got more fan-composed music videos for you, but this one comes from Chicago, where they love Bears kick returner Devin Hester. Hence the title of this flaming pile, […]

This Is Every Chicago Bears Fan I Know

Chicago Bears fans are the bane of my existence, this week. They’ve already started talking shit. They might as well have their fun now because they’re not going to have any after Sunday. I’m just going to bide my time until then. On Sunday I’ll unleash the fucking fury and make them sorry they were […]

Let The Hype Machine Spin Out Of Control!

Jay Cutler

By the time the Green Bay Packers play the Chicago Bears on Sunday for the NFC Championship, you’re going to be sick of hearing about the Green Bay Packers playing the Chicago Bears for the NFC Championship. The Packers and Bears have only met once in the playoffs — in 1941, a Bears’ win. Of […]

Bears Won’t Rest Their Starters

Lovie Smith

The Chicago Bears have already wrapped up the NFC North title, but that won’t keep them from playing their starters in what may or may not be a meaningless game against the Green Bay Packers, on Sunday. In all likelihood, the Bears will be playing for a first-round bye in the playoffs, unless the Minnesota […]