Chicago Bears
Obama Gets A Green Bay Welcome
Jan 26th
President Barack Obama flew into Green Bay this morning for an appearance and speech in Manitowoc. When he landed, the Chicago Bears fan was the recipient of two Green Bay Packers jerseys. The second, which is pictured above, was Charles Woodson’s No. 21 with the following personally signed message. “To President Obama See you at [...]
Poor Chicago
Jan 21st
Like Rodney Dangerfield, the Chicago Bears get no respect. Just take a look at the results of this SportsNation poll. In case you can’t quite see it, every state in the nation other than Illinois is picking the Green Bay Packers to beat the Bears, this weekend. Although Indiana is red, meaning the highest percentage [...]
An Uprising Of Support From Broncos Country
Jan 20th
Face it. No one likes the Chicago Bears except for FIBs and maybe two people in Iowa. The point was once again reinforced when Steffen, the other mastermind behind this venerable institution known as Total Packers, asked one of our friends, and one of biggest Denver Broncos fans on the planet, to ask his brethren [...]
The Bears Still Suck, Now Even Better!
Jan 19th
Is The Bears Still Suck the greatest song ever recorded? I don’t know, but it’s close. As if you needed a reason to find additional enjoyment in this classic number, here it is. Two young lads perform their version. It warms my heart. (Via Guyism)
Hest Is The Best!
Jan 18th
This will make your taint hurt, but it will also make you laugh. Why? Because it’s stupidest piece of crap you’ll see all week. That’s right. We’ve got more fan-composed music videos for you, but this one comes from Chicago, where they love Bears kick returner Devin Hester. Hence the title of this flaming pile, [...]
This Is Every Chicago Bears Fan I Know
Jan 17th
Chicago Bears fans are the bane of my existence, this week. They’ve already started talking shit. They might as well have their fun now because they’re not going to have any after Sunday. I’m just going to bide my time until then. On Sunday I’ll unleash the fucking fury and make them sorry they were [...]
Let The Hype Machine Spin Out Of Control!
Jan 16th
By the time the Green Bay Packers play the Chicago Bears on Sunday for the NFC Championship, you’re going to be sick of hearing about the Green Bay Packers playing the Chicago Bears for the NFC Championship. The Packers and Bears have only met once in the playoffs — in 1941, a Bears’ win. Of [...]
Bears Won’t Rest Their Starters
Dec 27th
The Chicago Bears have already wrapped up the NFC North title, but that won’t keep them from playing their starters in what may or may not be a meaningless game against the Green Bay Packers, on Sunday. In all likelihood, the Bears will be playing for a first-round bye in the playoffs, unless the Minnesota [...]
The Chicago Bears Are NFC North Champions
Dec 20th
At least it isn’t the Minnesota Vikings. The Chicago Bears nailed down the NFC North title Monday night by destroying the aforementioned poor excuse for an NFL franchise, 40-14. The Bears are 10-4 and can finish no worse than 10-6. If the Green Bay Packers finish with the same record by winning their last two [...]
The Chicago Bears Might, Kinda Be For Real
Nov 19th
No one has really taken the Chicago Bears seriously this year, particularly in these parts. In fact, they only beat the Green Bay Packers because the Packers handed them the game on a silver platter with a team-record 18 penalties, terrible special teams play, and poor coaching decisions by Mike McCarthy. Still, a win is [...]
Remember When The Packers/Bears Rivalry Was Cool?
Sep 24th
This is a different NFL than the NFL of the 1960s or even the 1980s, for that matter. In those days, the Green Bay Packers and Chicago Bears generally disliked each other. Today, members of the two teams in the NFL’s most storied rivalry like to slobber all over each other. Case in point: the [...]
Ah, The Chicago Bears
Sep 24th
What a bunch of cunts. Despite their 2-0 start, the Bears… wait for it…
Mouth Breathers Unite! But Don’t Pass Out
Sep 22nd
It’s Chicago Bears week and before I get to trashing the Bears I will say this: the Bears look pretty good this year, particularly on offense. The Green Bay Packers will be tested on Monday night in Chicago. Now that that’s out of the way, let me get to the point. The Chicago Bears and [...]
Glenn Beck Thinks Brian Urlacher Is A Neo-Nazi
Jul 23rd
Glenn Beck is an idiot, this we know. However, I had to laugh when Beck called Chicago Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher a neo-nazi. Here’s the setup. Beck was one of 33 people named to TheRoot.com list, The Blackest White Folks We Know. It makes little sense to include a rambling conservative talk show host, but [...]
Watch The Packers Take Some Good Old Fashioned Cheap Shots On The Bears
Jul 2nd
Man, the Green Bay Packers under coach Forrest Gregg were terrible, but if there’s one thing you could count on, it’s that they’d lay some cheap shots on the Chicago Bears. The Bears were good, especially in 1985 and 1986, and the Packers really had no business being on the same field with them at [...]
T.O. To Chicago?
May 26th
That has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? Really, I could care less what the Chicago Bears do. They’re still going to be the third or fourth best team in the NFC North if they sign Jesus Christ himself, but… Word is, free agent receiver Terrell Owens was in Chicago this week for some [...]
Da Bears Super Fans Movie That Wasn’t
May 23rd
Those of us who are of a certain age fondly remember Saturday Night Live’s Super Fans, the sausage-eating, beer-drinking Chicago Bears’ fans played at one time or another by George Wendt, Joe Mantegna, Robert Smigel, Chris Farley, Mike Myers and John Goodman, whose answer to just about everything was, Da Bears! or Ditka. Yes, they [...]
Bears Still Third Best In Division
Mar 9th
I’ll be honest, I like to laugh at the Chicago Bears, whether they’re mortgaging their future to acquire Jay Cutler, pretending they have serviceable wide receivers or completely bungling their search for an offensive coordinator. Under general manager Jerry Angelo, the Bears are funny. And yes, I mean funny like a clown. So, the Bears [...]
Bears Can’t Give Away Defensive Coordinator Job
Feb 6th
Much like their open offensive coordinator position, which they finally filled with their seventh choice, the Chicago Bears couldn’t find a defensive coordinator. So, on Friday they decided to give up and make assistant head coach/defensive line coach Rod Marinelli their defensive coordinator. Wait a minute, you say? I know this Marinelli guy! You sure [...]
