Chicago Bears

Terrell Owens In Chicago? Maybe…

terrell owens

Michael Wilbon likes the idea of the Chicago Bears signing free agent receiver Terrell Owens. Here’s why it makes sense, why it doesn’t and how it could affect the NFC North.

The Bickering Has Started In Chicago

Jay Cutler

Frustrations are starting to boil over in Chicago, where the Bears are solidly mediocre. Jay Cutler doesn’t like Mike Martz, the local media doesn’t like Cutler and Lance Briggs doesn’t like management. Implosion forthcoming?

Surprise! Bears GM Under Fire

Jerry Angelo

We’re not fans of the Chicago Bears, but we do know this — their general manager, Jerry Angelo, is one of the biggest buffoons in the league and we have no idea how he still has a job. Others are finally starting to wonder the same thing.

TiVo Time: Chicago Bears

Jermichael Finley

After slogging through the tape, we’re back with the breakdown of the Green Bay Packers win over the Chicago Bears. Here are all the important moments, what happened and why.

Green Bay Packers vs. Chicago Bears: Grades

Jay Cutler gets sacked by Jarius Wynn

Grading out the Green Bay Packers 28-17 win over the Chicago Bears in week three, including game balls and marks for each of the Packers’ three units. Here’s who played well and who didn’t.

Packers vs. Bears: First Impressions

Ryan Grant

First impressions of the Green Bay Packers 27-17 win over the Chicago Bears. Here’s why the Packers are 3-0, who looked good and what needs improvement.

Predictions: Packers vs. Bears

Aaron Rodgers

Total Packers’ writers predict the outcome of the Green Bay Packers matchup with the Chicago Bears. Here’s how it will happen and why.

Packers vs. Bears Preview

Clay Matthews

Here’s our preview of the Green Bay Packers and Chicago Bears week three game at Soldier Field, including game plan, key matchups and injury report.

The Greatest Green Bay Packers Player Of All Time Is…

Charles Martin

After thousands of hours of research, Total Packers has selected the greatest Green Bay Packers player of all time. We used a very scientific formula, which was constructed over several years. Here is the result.

Jay Cutler’s Sore Vagina Doesn’t Know If Jay Cutler Can Make It

Jay Cutler

We know you’ll be astounded, but Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler already has a sore vagina. It isn’t expected to keep him out of Sunday’s contest with the Green Bay Packers, but it might make him sit out for the second half.

Chicago Bears: Brazen Or Stupid?

Robbie Gould

The Chicago Bears thumbed their nose at the NFL and their new kickoff rules on Saturday by simply refusing to follow them.

Vote! Best Caption For Carimi Portable John Photo

Gabe Carimi

We asked our readers to caption a photo of Chicago Bears tackle Gabe Carimi exiting the portable john at Bears training camp. Now you can vote for the best caption. Have at it!

NFC North: Lions’ Big Loss, Bears Still Idiots, Busted In Minnesota

Mikel Leshoure

You’ve got to love the NFC North. Outside of Green Bay, it’s populated with a bunch of idiots. The Chicago Bears are run by idiots. Minnesota Vikings players can’t stop getting arrested. In Detroit, they may not be stupid, but we’ll bet the hype died down a little bit today.

Please Help Us Caption This Photo

Gabe Carimi

Here, we’ve got Chicago Bears tackle Gabe Carimi in an odd situation. Sure, he’s a Wisconsin boy, but he swore off the Green Bay Packers when he was chosen by the Chicago Bears. It looks like they’ve turned him into a mouth breather.

NFC North: Free Agents, New Starters And Other Nonsense

Jay Cutler

The three teams competing for second place in the NFC North have been working real hard to take home that trophy this offseason. Here are the latest developments from Chicago, Minnesota and Detroit.

Hester To Bears: Sign Receiver Just Like Shitty Ones We Have

Devin Hester

Chicago Bears receiver Devin Hester suggested the team sign another receiver exactly like the shitty ones they already have — Washington Redskins free agent Santana Moss. GM Jerry Angelo just might be dumb enough to do it.

Jay Cutler’s Knee Fantastic, Vagina Still Hurts

Jay Cutler

We’re glad to know the get well card we sent to Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler after he stood around with a dumb look on his face for the second half of the NFC Championship game paid off. Cutler, who “sprained his knee” at the beginning of the third quarter, is back to playing football now that nothing at all is on the line.

Connecting The Dots: Chicago Bears Receivers

Terrell Owens

One of the problems the Chicago Bears have had in the Jay Cutler era, other than a terrible offensive line, is the lack of a top-flight, go-to receiver. It’s one of the reasons they’re the second-best team in the NFC North, despite what last year’s regular-season record and Brian Urlacher’s pea brain say.

And Now We’re Saving Chicago Bears Fans’ Lives

donor

Why are Green Bay Packers fans the best in the NFL? Because of shit like this. Suffering from Hepatitis C, the 55-year-old Chicago resident would have died had he not received a liver transplant at the University of Wisconsin Hospital in Madison on March 14, 2010. [Peter] Cashman later discovered that the donor was Amy […]

Urlacher: Bears Are Best In NFC

Brian Urlacher

We knew Chicago Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher was a meathead, but he might be dumber than we thought. He clearly doesn’t understand how the NFL playoffs work. Otherwise, how could he say something this stupid?