Chicago Bears
Bears Are Going to the Super Bowl!
Aug 5th
The Chicago Bears are going to the Super Bowl, according to receiver Brandon Marshall. Here’s one more reason for you to hate those idiots.
Jay Cutler Is Now Better Than Aaron Rodgers
Jul 17th
The ultimate authority has decided Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler is better than Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers. Here’s who said it, what he had to say and what he actually meant.
Bears Finally Pay Matt Forte
Jul 16th
The Chicago Bears finally did the right thing and paid running back Matt Forte. The Packers will be seeing him for the next four years. Here are the details.
Chicago Bears: This Year’s Paper Champions
Jun 26th
Let’s all run out and crown the Chicago Bears! Bears linebacker Lance Briggs already has. Here’s what he had to say and what we think about it.
Bears Get Dissed In Math Problem, Charles Tillman Not Amused
Jun 15th
The Chicago Bears are now getting dissed in math problems. Check this one out, which correctly states the Green Bay Packers are the much better team. Bears cornerback Charles Tillman was not amused.
Conan’s Masturbating (Chicago) Bear Returns [Video]
Jun 13th
Conan O’Brien brings back The Masturbating Bear and has some fun with the Chicago Bears at the same time. Here’s the video.
Brandon Marshall: This Kind Of Douche
May 18th
Hey, Chicago Bears receiver Brandon Marshall is a hipster. Who knew? Certainly not us. We present the evidence and, of course, the analysis.
Urlacher In Running For Hottest Girlfriend In Division [Photos]
Apr 21st
Chicago Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher is dating former Playboy Playmate of the Year Jenny McCarthy. We break down the situation, but will let you determine who has the best broad in the NFC North.
Uh Oh! The Bears Are Contenders
Apr 12th
The Chicago Bears are contenders once again and not soon enough! Just ask linebacker Lance Briggs. We break down his comments and the situation.
The Bears Are Back To Doing Stupid Shit
Mar 24th
The Chicago Bears and general manager Phil Emery are conjuring up images of the disaster that was the Jerry Angelo era. Both the Matt Forte situation and Brandon Marshall trade prove the Bears are back to their idiotic ways, which we fully endorse.
As It Turns Out, Bears Probably Traded For Another Scumbag
Mar 14th
The Chicago Bears made the bold move of trading for receiver Brandon Marshall. Oh, by the way, he may have punched some broad in the face last Sunday. Smooth move Chicago. Here’s the rundown.
Bears Strike First: Trade For Brandon Marshall
Mar 13th
The Chicago Bears are relevant again. Chicago traded two third-round picks to Miami for receiver Brandon Marshall, addressing one of their weakest positions and reuniting one of the best quarterback/receiver combos in the NFL.
Bears Might Actually Try To Get Better This Offseason
Mar 6th
After years of employing a buffoon as a general manager, the new Chicago Bears front office might actually attempt to make the team better this offseason. That plan reportedly starts with receiver Vincent Jackson.
Angelo, Martz Out In Chicago
Jan 3rd
Chicago Bears general manager Jerry Angelo has been canned and offensive coordinator Mike Martz has resigned. Coach Lovie Smith will get to keep his job, but the times they are a changin’ in Chicago.
TiVo Time: Chicago Bears
Dec 31st
Here’s one last look at the Green Bay Packers victory over the Chicago Bears to clinch the No. 1 seed. We break down the tape and look at the key plays, how they happened, who made them work or who screwed them up.
See Ya Later Chicago!
Dec 26th
The Green Bay Packers thrashed the Chicago Bears Sunday night and in turn knocked them out of the playoffs picture entirely. Here’s how we saw the beating.
Bears Will Roll Out Josh McCown On Sunday
Dec 21st
The Chicago Bears will trot out Josh McCown at quarterback on Sunday when the team faces the Green Bay Packers. We’re pretty sure this will go well.
Which Packers Are On Drugs?
Dec 16th
In light of the revelation that law enforcement officials have a list in the double digits of NFL players who were clients of Chicago Bears receiver Sam Hurd, we wonder: Which Packers are on drugs?
Chicago Bears Are Back To Their Thuggish Ways
Dec 15th
It’s been a while, but the Chicago Bears reminded us who they are. Receiver Sam Hurd was arrested Wednesday for allegedly running a high-volume drug operation. Federal agents were tracking the receiver’s movements for some time. Here’s the (hilarious) story.
Cutler Could Face Packers
Dec 14th
The Green Bay Packers could face Jay Cutler when they take on the Chicago Bears in two weeks. The injured quarterback left the door open for a possible return, which would make the Packers quest for an undefeated season a little tougher.