Chicago Bears

Chicago Bears Christmas Carols

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Here are the Chicago Bears Christmas carols you always wanted. They touch on some familiar themes. Themes like failure and sadness. ‘Tis the season.

Oh, the Chicago Bears…

Sad Brandon Marshall

The Chicago Bears are a real sad sack right now. Their season is over for all intents and purposes and a lot of blame is being placed. Let’s revel in the misery!

Bears Fans Stabbed Because They Want to be Packers Fans

Chicago Bears fans

Chicago Bears fans being Chicago Bears fans. One group of Bears fans apparently stabbed two other fans because one said he wanted to be a Green Bay Packers fan. Not even making that up!

Willie Young is the Biggest Turkey

Willie Young

Willie Young is a defensive end for the Chicago Bears. Willie Young is also a moron. For his unoriginal sack dance after a non-sack, he’s our turkey of Thanksgiving.

Even the Sun-Times Has Lost Interest in the Chicago Bears

Chicago Bears headline

The Chicago Sun-Times — the city’s other newspaper — has just as much interest in the Chicago Bears as everyone else does. None. This headline proves it.

Chicago Bears Fans Reacting Completely Reasonably

Jay Cutler and Marc Trestman

Chicago Bears fans did not handle their team’s latest loss to the Green Bay Packers well. They harassed the coach’s daughter, burned stuff and called for Jim McMahon.

Randall Cobb Knew Bears Would Lay Down

Randall Cobb

Green Bay Packers receiver Randall Cobb says he knew the Chicago Bears might lay down if the Packers got an early lead. And lay down they did, because they’re just that kind of team.

Here’s the Chicago Bears’ Season in a Nutshell

Chicago Bears defensive end Lamarr Houston got his first sack of the season in the fourth quarter of a 51-23 blowout loss. Naturally, he had to celebrate!

The Chicago Bears Have Imploded

Cutty!

On Sunday, the Chicago Bears did what losers do when they realize they’re losers and have nothing more to play for. They imploded. So long til next year, Bears!

The Chicago Bears are Wife Beaters

Chicago Bears meme

The Chicago Bears are a bunch of wife beaters. Seriously. Former general manager Jerry Angelo admitted that he concealed hundreds of cases of domestic abuse.

Here’s Where a Chicago Bears Player Tells the Fans Off

Lamarr Houston tells Bears fans off

Lamarr Houston is not happy with Chicago Bears fans because they’re jumping off the bandwagon a little earlier than normal. He let them know it too.

Because it’s Chicago Bears Week: These Highlights

Chicago Bears meme

You want Green Bay Packers vs. Chicago Bears highlights? Well, we’ve got some of the best ones from the greatest rivalry in the NFL right here.

Meanwhile, Chicago Bears are Fighting Amongst Themselves

Martellus Bennett and Kyle Fuller

On Monday, Chicago Bears tight end Martellus Bennett slammed teammate Kyle Fuller to the ground. On Tuesday, he got suspended by the team. Implosion!

Chicago Bears Already Planning Championship Parade

Chicago Bears coach Marc Trestman working the combine

The Chicago Bears are going to win the Super Bowl this season, so it makes complete sense that they’d already have their championship parade planned out.

Why the Chicago Bears Suck

Chicago Bears meme

The Chicago Bears suck. How do they suck? Let us count the ways why this 2014 version of the Bears will suck just like every other version since 1985.

The Bears Were After Mike Neal

Mike Neal sacks Jake Locker

The Chicago Bears were after Green Bay Packers outside linebacker Mike Neal in free agency. Much like on the field, they ultimately failed. Here’s the story.

Matt Forte is Tired of Losing to the Green Bay Packers, Dammit!

Matt Forte

Chicago Bears running back Matt Forte had plenty to say as the team opened OTAs today. Most notably, that he’s sick of losing to the Green Bay Packers.

Brandon Marshall Signed New Contract on a Chick Show

Brandon Marshall on The View

The Chicago Bears just gave receiver Brandon Marshall a fat new extension. Where did he sign that extension? On a TV show for chicks who don’t work.

Jared Allen: Obviously Not Concerned About Winning

Jared Allen fucks sheep

Free agent defensive end Jared Allen signed with the Chicago Bears today. That’s a clear sign that he doesn’t give two craps about winning. Go Bears!

Here’s a Chicago Bears Fan Burning his Julius Peppers Jersey

Chicago Bears fan burns Julius Peppers jersey

They’re real angry that Julius Peppers left the Chicago Bears and signed with the Green Bay Packers. At least this idiot is. Watch him burn his jersey.