Your Green Bay Packers: Telling It Like It Is
sports comedy
Jared Allen No Longer A Dumbass With A Mullet, Just A Dumbass
May 26th
Minnesota Vikings’ defensive end/chief douchebag/animal fucker and all-around dumbass has cut his mullet. Allen, who still looks like a redneck thug who molests his sister, apparently cut the mullet because he’s getting married. That’s right, Jared Allen is getting married. When we found out Allen wasn’t getting married to his cousin, which is completely legal [...]
Onion Sports Network To Hit Comedy Central
Apr 15th
It’s true. This is absolutely nothing to do with the Green Bay Packers, but it does have two things that are very important to us here at Total Packers. 1. It has Wisconsin roots. 2. It involves something that’s completely awesome. Wisconsin-born satirical newspaper, The Onion, is getting it’s own show on comedy central. More [...]
Packers Insiders Gets A New Look… From Us
Apr 2nd
You know them, you love them… or at least tolerate them. They’re the Green Bay Packers’ Insiders! As a single man they would be nothing, but together, they form a Voltron-like unit with one mission – kicking ass! Or maybe it’s Packers’ journalism. I don’t recall. They are… Rob Demovsky – POW! Mike Vandermause – [...]
Green Bay Packers Fans Like to Drink
Feb 2nd
I don’t think anyone can argue the point that Green Bay Packers fans like to drink. And I don’t think anyone can argue with me when I say that The Onion has been cranking out some of the best satire in the country for many years. That’s not to say that alcoholism is a laughing [...]
Vikings Are 40th Best All Time and What To Do With The NFL’s Archaic Playoff System
Jan 26th
Today’s guest blogger is Erick Sklogund. Sklogund is a Vikings beat writer and humor columnist for The Observer Herald in Le Seur, Minnesota. The corpse of the Minnesota Vikings’ 2009 season is still warm, but it’s not too soon to reflect on where this team stands among the all-time greats. First things first, though. With [...]
Everything In Childress’ World Makes Sense Now
Jan 9th
Well, if you read this blog very often, you know we think Minnesota Vikings coach Brad Childress is a pedophile (or at least looks like one). So then it makes sense that his son, Kyle, is also a delinquent. Kyle Childress was charged with second-degree DWI in St. Paul, early Saturday morning, the second time [...]
Chicago Bears Fans Turning on Jay Cutler Already
Nov 24th
It’s true. Chicago Bears’ quarterback Jay Cutler hasn’t performed up to the lofty, Jesus-like expectations set out for him when he arrived from Denver. Sure, he leads the league in interceptions with 18 (vs. 15 touchdown passes). It’s true that Cutler interceptions put an end to any chance the Bears had in their last two [...]
The Onion Zings Favre Again
Nov 6th
The Onion has summed up what a lot of people have been feeling in their latest Favre blurb.
Packers vs. Vikings Photo of the Week
Oct 29th
We always get some pretty funny photos when the Green Bay Packers take on the Minnesota Vikings. Here’s the best one we’ve received this week. I think it’s pretty self explanatory.
The Onion Presents Packers vs. Vikings Key Factors
Oct 2nd
I’m proud of my home state. Wisconsin is glorious for so many reasons – chief among them, the Green Bay Packers and The Onion. That’s right Johnny-Come-Latelys, the funniest fake newspaper in the world was founded in Madison, Wisconsin. We were all reading it on the can back when you weren’t sure if fake news [...]
The Best of Minnesota Vikings Humor
Oct 1st
In the continued anticipation and build up to the Yarn in the Barn (that being the Green Bay Packers versus the Minnesota Vikings on Monday Night Football), we give you the best Vikings’ jokes, put downs and nonsense, all of which were submitted by readers. We hope you enjoy, because you’re probably going to need [...]
Top 10 Green Bay Packers Stats We Wished They Kept
Sep 16th
It’s our first (and who knows, maybe last) Green Bay Packers’ Top 10 List – Top 10 Green Bay Packers’ Stats We Wished They Kept. 10. Times Aaron Rodgers has been asked about Brett Favre. 9. Games in which Mike McCarthy didn’t have a pen or pencil stuck in his hat. 8. Messages Reggie White received [...]
How Blair Kiel Is Completely Responsible For The Packers Last Super Bowl Victory
Sep 10th
This is a blast from the past, and you’ll have to bear with me for a moment. Former Green Bay Packers’ backup quarterback Blair Kiel and his general stupidity were in the news recently. Our man Blair, who played quarterback for the Packers from 1988 to 1991, is a belligerent drunk. According to sources, Kiel [...]
The Packers: A Few Laughs to Get You Through the Week
Sep 2nd
We here at Total Packers like to have a laugh. We REALLY like to have a laugh at the expense of people from Minnesota or Illinois, but we also like to laugh at ourselves, because hey, there’s a lot about Green Bay to laugh about. So today, we thought we’d fire up a few things [...]
The Global Sports Fraternity
Jan 21st
Not too long ago, my neighbor launched a new sports comedy website, featuring viral videos and blogs. Being the good neighbor that I am, I thought we might as well give them a shout out. The videos feature a variety of strange characters and even a BCS Committee comprised of Chimpanzees. The site itself is [...]
