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Brett Favre

Really?

This person’s parents shouldn’t have reproduced. Other than that, I have no words. Oh, it’s a Chicago Cubs jersey. Good luck breaking your unparalleled record of futility. (Via Deadspin)

Brett Favre Will Not Be Going To Carolina

Brett Favre

Just like that, the Brett Favre to the Carolina Panthers rumors are dead. Although we didn’t believe it, we told you about the rumor yesterday, after some tool from Minnesota wrote about it in a newspaper column. It’s already been debunked.

What? Brett Favre May Return With Carolina?

Brett Favre

Quarterback Brett Favre may return to the NFL for the 2011 season, according to Charley Walters of the St. Paul Pioneer Press, but not with the Minnesota Vikings. The Vikings seem intent on choosing a quarterback in this year’s draft and possibly adding a veteran like the Washington Redskins Donovan McNabb as a bridge until he’s ready.

Vikings Ben Leber Thinks Favre Could Come Back

Brett Favre

We haven’t speculated about Brett Favre coming out of retirement and for good reason. Favre maintained 2010 was his last season throughout the year and even went so far as to file his retirement papers with the league once the season is over. Every indication is Brett Favre is retired from football. Of course, this is Brett Favre we’re talking about. He’s come out of retirement three times already.

Jenn Sterger Finally Sues Someone

Jenn Sterger

You know I can never resist the opportunity to gaze upon Jenn Sterger’s breasts, so I was uber excited when I found out she finally sued someone. Unfortunately, it’s not the someone you think. No, the statute of limitations has run out on Sterger’s chance to sue Brett Favre. Instead, she’s decided to sue Phil Reese. If you’re saying to yourself, “Self, that name sounds vaguely familiar,” that’s because it should. Reese was Sterger’s “manager” and the moron prancing around issuing statements and giving interviews on Sterger’s behalf during the Great Brett Favre Cock Text investigation of 2010.

They’re Making Fun Of Brett Favre’s Penis At Mardi Gras

I’ll make this short and sweet because I was doing just fine not talking about Brett Favre or his penis.

The satirical Krewe D’Etat, which holds their own parade the Friday before Fat Tuesday at Mardi Gras, had a float featuring none other than former Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre taking a pic of his tiny penis.

Woodson: Favre Had Numerous Opportunities To Reach Out

Green Bay Packers cornerback Charles Woodson was on Jim Rome’s show today and, of course, Brett Favre somehow managed to work his way into the conversation.

Rome asked Woodson about Favre’s relationship with Aaron Rodgers — Rodgers reportedly still harbors some bitterness toward Favre — and about the possibility of Favre reaching out to his former understudy.

Bitterness Remains Between Rodgers And Favre

Although both guys say the appropriate things publicly, there isn’t a real relationship between Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers and the guy he succeeded, Brett Favre, and there may never be.

Rodgers is still at least somewhat bitter over the way Favre treated him when they were teammates and rightfully so.

Who Is The Greatest QB In Packers History?

Bart Starr

I read Adam Rank’s article on the best quarterbacks in Green Bay Packers history with some interest. I thought the list would be fairly predictable, with either Brett Favre or Bart Starr ending up at the top. My personal selection is Starr, simply because he won five championships. Favre, of course, only won one, despite […]

Packers Want Favre Back In The Family

Brett Favre

I’m not really sure how this sits with me, but we all knew it was inevitable. Green Bay Packers president Mark Murphy said the organization is saving a spot for Brett Favre. Although it isn’t likely to happen tomorrow, the Packers are going to kiss and make up with Favre eventually. “Yeah, at the appropriate […]

Brett Favre: What Should I Do?

It’s a knock-off of LeBron’s “What Should I Do?” Nike commercial. It’s a parody based on Brett Favre and his penis. It’s hilarious. (Via Guyism)

Favre Allegedly Tried To Bag A Masseuse While With The Vikings

Brett Favre

Brett Favre likes to bang just about anything that isn’t his wife. Or maybe his wife just doesn’t like to bang him. Whatever the case, there’s another masseuse claiming Favre tried to get with her. Stephanie Dusenberry, who formerly worked for the Minnesota Vikings and now works independently with several Vikings’ players, claims Favre texted […]

The ‘Genius’ Of Brett Favre

Brett Favre, Aaron Rodgers

In case you didn’t know it already, Brett Favre is a walking contradiction. Hours after filing his retirement papers with the NFL, Old Man Favre is already trying to make amends with the Green Bay Packers, telling ESPN’s Ed Werder in an e-mail he thinks Aaron Rodgers is the league’s best quarterback and the Packers’ […]

Brett Favre Must Really Be Retiring Because He’s Hawking Collectibles

We didn’t pay much attention when former Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre filed his retirement papers, this morning. So what? We thought. It’s not that we think Favre will change his mind and come back sometime next August. It’s just that after getting beat around, both on the field and in his private life, while […]

Favre Is A Meth Head

Brandi Favre

Yeah, I sucked you right in with that one, didn’t I? While we all know Brett Favre has some kind of problem… scratch that… all kinds of problems, we didn’t know it extended to the rest of his family. No, Brett Favre is not a meth head, but it looks like his younger sister Brandi […]

Favre Sued For Sexual Harassment

This one came out of left field. Now-presumably-retired Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre is being sued for sexual harassment, but not by Jenn Sterger. Favre was hit with the lawsuit by Christina Scavo and Shannon O’Toole, who massage therapists who formerly worked for the New York Jets. The suit, which was filed in the New […]

Sterger’s Lawyer: Favre Got Preferential Treatment

Brett Favre

We’ve been surmising the NFL wouldn’t do anything to Brett Favre in relation to his behavior towards Jenn Sterger. Today, they more or less did just that, deciding to only fine Favre for not being cooperative during the league’s investigation into his conduct. Not surprisingly, Sterger isn’t too happy. Her lawyer, Joseph Conway, released the […]

Favre Fined For Sterger Incident

Jenn Sterger

Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre was fined, but not suspended for his role in the Jenn Sterger incident, a story first reported by Jay Glazer. Surprisingly, the fine isn’t for violating any NFL policies. Michael David Smith has confirmed Favre has been fined $50,000 for not cooperating with the investigation, which took nearly three months. […]

Brett Favre Likes Masturbation Videos

That’s right people. Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre likes masturbation videos. That is, if you believe Jenn Sterger. Someone “close to the NFL investigation” says Sterger claims Favre asked her to send him a video of her masturbating. Really, who can blame the guy? Well, he’s married, so a lot of people. But the point […]

Adrian Peterson Is M.I.A.

Brett Favre action figures

Okay, so I couldn’t possibly stand writing another Brett Favre headline, so that’s why you’re getting this one on Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson. This made me laugh heartily, so I think I’ll just let it speak for itself. How do you think that played out? I bet when they consulted Favre on making […]