[tps_title]31. New England Patriots[/tps_title]
As I have written before, the Patriots uniforms are an ugly disgrace, a true blight on the NFL and the world — this in addition to now multiple cheating scandals (and those are just the ones we know about). There is no need to reproduce this monstrosity here. Again, the Patriots once had a truly classic look, with quite respectable unis. The eggshell white and red with blue trim were truly eye catching. There may not have been a better depiction of our nation’s colors in sport than those.
But because of a drought of some substantial duration, Robert Kraft and his marketing team had to roll out these horrendous uniforms. Aside from the dark blue and silver with red trim, which has been done countless times before, the very worst element of a uniform more fitting for an Arena League getup than an NFL team is the Flying Elvis:
As sterile as it is soulless, it looks like a bank logo, not a logo for an NFL team. In addition to the cheating scandals, the dubious business practices and rich asshole personage of its owner, the personality defects of their poor-sport, I am not going to shake hands coach — personality defects which are as severe and staggering as they are numerous — and the spoiled sense of entitlement of its bandwagon fans who rarely reside beyond the northern half of Connecticut, the flying Elvis alone is enough reason to hate this team and, to quote Mark Cuban, wish for them to suck forever.