We are overjoyed to bring you this news! The Green Bay Packers have reached an agreement on a multi-year contract extension with coach Mike McCarthy, proponent of proper pad level and all-around genius!
The deal was announced today. Terms were not released, although it would be a good bet that the extension runs concurrent with general manager Ted Thompson’s contract.
Thompson signed an extension over the summer that will keep him at the helm of the Packers beyond 2015, which is when his old deal expired. There has been speculation that Thompson’s new deal runs through 2018.
If that’s the case, then we’re getting four more seasons of the Green Bay Packers’ inability to tackle anyone, excuses about pad level and the glorious, all-world A.J. Hawk as a starting inside linebacker.
That also means four more seasons of being good enough to get into the playoffs and poor enough to lose in the first round. So, four more seasons of wasting Aaron Rodgers.
If you’re a betting man or woman, you can probably also bet that the Packers will lose to the 49ers in the playoffs this year and the next four after that. Then we’ll hear about, yes, our defense was bad once again, but I’m sticking by my main man Dom Capers. He’s a hell of a coordinator!
But more importantly, as long as McCarthy is at the helm, we can all bank on that one Super Bowl the Packers won in 2010 despite McCarthy by saying things like, “Yeah, of course Mike McCarthy is an awesome coach. He won a Super Bowl!” Or perhaps, “The Packers won a Super Bowl back in 2010. That’s the only Super Bowl win I need!”
The important thing here is that McCarthy happened to be the coach of a team that won the Super Bowl. And if you’re the coach of a team that won a Super Bowl in Green Bay, then you can give Jesus Christ himself a donkey punch.
Because you can do no wrong!