If you remember last season, then you were probably wondering where this was. Green Bay Packers coach Mike McCarthy talking about bad tackling, how the problem will be corrected and, our personal favorite, pad level.
Gotta correct that pad level!
Yup. Pad level is the problem.
That was an all-too-familiar refrain last season because, well, the Packers defense couldn’t tackle anyone. But all that is in the past! The Packers defense will be vastly improved this year!
Except for not really.
The Packers missed plenty of tackles while getting demolished by the Seattle Seahawks in the season opener. That piece of shit Brad Jones missed three all by himself.
So, certainly Buffoon would have to address this and here’s what he had to say this time.
“We had way too many missed tackles,” McCarthy said. “It’s a fundamental we practice every day and it did not carry over to the field.”
Oh? Is that right?
“The biggest thing that jumps out at you on film is we didn’t run through the tackle,” McCarthy said. “Our footwork was poor. You start leaving your feet to tackle people, it leaves you in a compromising position.”
Ah, I see. Well then…
Frankly, we’re tired of these stupid fucking exchanges.
Hey Mike, you didn’t tackle well again. What gives?
Well, gee whiz, I just don’t understand it. We practice it all week. I just don’t know why it doesn’t translate over to the games. This will be the week we fix it though. I’m sure of that!
Sure it will…
We’ve got a revolutionary solution for you.
Stop sending the same assholes out there onto the field and hoping for different results.
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Yeah, we know. The Packers defense looks much different than it did last year, but primarily only at two positions — defensive line and safety.
I think we can all agree that one of last year’s starters at safety, M.D. Jennings, was part of the tackling problem then. The Packers have revamped that position and I think we can also all agree that it is in much better shape.
Well, guess which position isn’t. The one where your primary tacklers are supposed to play — inside linebacker.
Manned by the same two clowns as last season, Jones and A.J. Hawk. And hey, guess what. Still can’t tackle anyone!
How about a change in personnel and, I don’t know, see what happens? I mean, could it get any worse? Can’t imagine how.
Oh, wait. I forgot. This is the Green Bay Packers we’re talking about. Clearly, personnel is not the problem here. It’s pad level. Just gotta get that pad level right and surely, this will finally be the week where that happens.
Right, Buffoon?