Micah Hyde

The Green Bay Packers released their first depth chart on Monday. It is marked as “unofficial,” so basically that means a couple of clowns in the web department put it together.

However, we’re pretty sure it reflects the thinking of the coaching staff. In other words, the starters — who were locked in before training camp even began — are always veterans, even if they’re really shitty veterans. Young guys? Bury those fuckers!

Seriously, here are the only mildly surprising developments and then they’re only mildly surprising if you haven’t been following along.

Andrew Quarless is listed as the starting tight end, even though we’ve been hearing more about the play of both Brandon Bostick and rookie Richard Rodgers. Bostick is second and Rodgers is fourth, behind Ryan Taylor.

Rookie Davante Adams has already established himself as at least the fourth receiver. He’s listed second behind Randall Cobb at one receiver position. Jarrett Boykin is listed second behind Jordy Nelson at the other. Chris Harper and Myles White are next in line.

If you were to surmise, and we will — Jordy is the No. 1, that would make Boykin the No. 3 at this point.

The backup quarterback as of right now is Matt Flynn. Scooter Tolzien is third.

On defense, I would argue there are no surprises at all. Although if this is the first you’re tuning in then you might find it odd that the starting safeties are Morgan Burnett and Micah Hyde. First-round pick Ha Ha Clinton-Dix is listed as Hyde’s backup.

Free agent acquisition Julius Peppers is listed as the starter at outside linebacker, which makes the starters on the defensive line Datone Jones, B.J. Raji and Mike Daniels.

Hyde, who will probably be starting at safety, is the top return man — both punt and kick. We’ll suppose that the Packers can afford to risk him back there because they have Clinton-Dix, but someone else, please win those jobs.

Hey, maybe Morgan Burnett should be returning kicks? Huh? Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuh?

What’s perhaps more interesting are some of the guys buried on the depth chart. Here are the guys that, hey, you better pull your head out of your ass or you’re getting cut!

Jerel Worthy — listed as third at left defensive end. He’s behind rookie Khyri Thornton and second-year pro Josh Boyd in the defensive end picture and no better than the No. 7 defensive lineman. The good news for Worthy, who’s shown pretty much jack shit since being a second-round pick in 2012, is the Packers will keep more than six defensive linemen.

Demetri Goodson — listed as fourth at right cornerback. This guy was just a sixth-round draft pick. He’s behind a guy named Jumal Rolle on the cornerback depth chart. See ya on the practice squad, bro!

Carl Bradford — listed as fourth at right outside linebacker. Bradford was just drafted in the fourth round. Everyone says he’s better suited for inside linebacker, but the Packers insist he’s an outside linebacker. He’s behind Nick Perry and Mike Neal (obviously) and Andy Mulumba and Nate Palmer, the third-string duo. We don’t know how many outside linebackers the Packers can afford to keep, but an educated guess says seven is too many.

Kevin Dorsey and Jeff Janis — listed as fourth and fifth at one receiver position. Both of these guys were seventh-round picks — Dorsey in 2013 and Janis this year. They currently sit at seventh and eighth on the overall receiver depth chart. The Packers won’t keep more than six.

As the depth chart stands right now, the Packers would have wasted three draft picks this year, in that Bradford, Goodson and Janis wouldn’t make the roster.

Fortunately for them, it’s early.