Packers vs. Saints

This kind of pointless speculation happens every year after the NFL schedule is released. Everyone, from “experts” to your buddy from high school, predicts how many games their team is going to win. And if you’re a Green Bay Packers fan, that number is always pretty high.

These guesses are, of course, pretty much always way off the mark. It turns out it’s hard to accurately predict how a team is going to fare before training camp, we see what their draft class looks like and their injury situation shakes out. And it’s also nice to know what those things look like for their opponents.

That doesn’t stop a million idiots from pulling a record out of their ass in April, though.

Pretty much without fail, that will go one of two ways. If your team is already good, someone will say something like this to you.

“I [like or dislike] the schedule. I can see 11-5, maybe 12-4 this season.”

You nod silently.

Now, if you support a shitty team like, say, the Minnesota Vikings or that clown show in Washington, you’ll get this one.

“You know, I can really see us going 9-7 this year. Maybe even 10-6 and competing for a playoff spot.”

You see, because in April every team is going to be competitive in their fans’ eyes. Even teams who aren’t. But hope springs eternal.

This year! This year really is going to be the Vikings’ year, guys!

You nod silently.

That’s why you get shit like when all of those hack ESPN team bloggers handed out a collective record for the 2014 season of 290-222. That’s a collective winning percentage of over .550, which is, you know, impossible. Out of all of these clowns, only five guys picked their teams to have a below .500.

In the NFC North, everyone is 8-8 or better, according to ESPN. And you just know the guy blogging about the Vikings said to himself, “Yeah, 8-8 is realistic. Maaaaaaaybe even 9-7.”

The point here is, no one knows what the hell they’re talking about and when you let fans in on the action, well, look the hell out.

The Press-Gazette, in their infinite wisdom, ran a poll to see how many games their readers think the Packers will win. Fans actually got to vote on every game, i.e. choose if the Packers or Seahawks will win in week 1 and so on.

How many games are the Packers going to win in 2014?

14!!!!!

As the respondents to this poll see it, the Packers are only going to lose to Seattle and New Orleans. And of course some people obviously picked the Packers to go 16-0.

The Saints game is the only game that a large majority of respondents think the Packers will lose. That was 74 to 26 percent in favor of New Orleans. The Seattle game was just 56 to 44 percent in favor of the Seahawks.

Obviously, very scientific stuff.

This is the reason the majority of people aren’t gamblers. Because they suck at it.