Kelly Hall

Well, Detroit Lions quarterback and A1 frat boy Matthew Stafford, AKA Butterball, has gone and got himself engaged. The uh… lucky(?)… girl is his college sweetheart Kelly Hall.

Hall’s brother Chad alerted the world to the good news with this Instagram post.

Kelly and Butterhead met at Georgia, where he played quarterback and she played cheerleader. After college they fanned the flames of their relationship with activities like pounding shots and doing keg stands.

You know, just like your parents did!

By the look of it, Butterface has also been spending plenty of time in the buffet line. Kelly, we’re guessing, has spent that time alternately drinking straight from a bottle of vodka and sticking her finger down her throat.

That’s right. It’s the fairy tale courtship you’ve always dreamed of, ladies. If you had hung out at a few more keggers, YOU could have been Mrs. Butterboy. Sadly, he is now off the market.

We kid, of course. We’re sure Butternuts and Kelly make a fine couple. And gents, her and her fake tits look plenty good in a swimsuit.

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