You’ll Be Glad to Know Christian Ponder will Remain a Viking

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Sad Christian Ponder

Sad Christian Ponder

The Christian Ponder era has produced nothing but glory for the Minnesota Vikings. Wait, scratch that. It’s produced nothing but glory for the Green Bay Packers and the rest of the NFC North.

So, good news NFC North! The Vikings are bringing Ponder back for at least another season. General manager Rick Speilman, the genius who reached for Ponder in the first round back in 2011, confirmed as much on Friday.

“Christian will be here; I don’t anticipate anything — him not being here,” Spielman said.

There had been speculation that the Vikings would release Ponder because, you know, he’s fucking awful.

Ponder started nine games in 2013 and threw for 1,648 yards, seven touchdowns and nine interceptions. The Vikings were 2-6-1 in those games. It got so bad for Ponder that his own teammates openly lobbied for Matt Cassel to start.

That stellar performance followed a season in which Ponder started all 16 games and earned the distinction of being the only quarterback to do that and NOT throw for at least 3,000 yards. He threw for just 2,935 in a season in which Adrian Peterson ran for over 2,000 yards. How bad do you have to be when opposing teams are stacking the box on pretty much every down and daring you to pass to not hit 3,000 yards in 16 starts?

Christian Ponder bad.

Now the Vikings are again looking at drafting their quarterback of the future. And they kind of need to keep Ponder out of necessity. Cassel opted out of his contract and Josh Freeman, who the Vikings brilliantly signed during the season and played in just one game, is a free agent.

Whether Ponder opens the season as the starter or the Vikings trot out their new highly-touted (probably only by them) rookie quarterback remains to be seen.

We are thankful the ineptness of the Vikings front office has managed to waste Adrian Peterson’s formidable years, though. As always, well done you morons!

About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

9 Comments on "You’ll Be Glad to Know Christian Ponder will Remain a Viking"

  1. Phatgzus

    Q: How awful do you have to be that Matt Cassel forgoes guaranteed money and pulls an Cartman on you? “Screw you guys, I’m going home.” Again, that’s Matt. Cassel.

    A: So awful that you sign a free agent QB to replace your starter and backup for $3M then let him play in one game in which he completes less than half his passes and commits a handful of TOs. The Minnesota Vikings, ladies and gentlemen.

  2. Chad Lundberg

    If it weren’t for AP, the Vikings would be 2-14 every year. Hell, they may have been the second team to have ever gone 0-16. Fuck all Vikings players, especially Favre and Sharper, but I just have to say it. Adrian is playing for the wrong team. If, for example, had he played for the Jets he may have turned in 2,500 rushing yards, and yes, I MEAN IT.

  3. Maryland Cheese Whiz

    I think poor AP is reliving Barry Sanders career. I’ve respected and “feared” playing against both. We’re lucky they played for the sucky viqueens and the even suckier Pontiac pussies”. Shane to waste the hall of fame careers of great players on those suck ass teams

  4. Savage57

    This shit just keeps getting better and better every year. After seeing stuff like time and time again, I understand a little better why Vikings fans are such dicks.

    Imagine having to go into every season knowing deep in your heart, no matter how optimistic you might want to be, that your team will find some way to screw it up.

    Without dreams, life is meaningless.

    I sometimes actually feel sorry for their fans.

    Naah, not really. Still douchenozzles.

  5. rebelgb

    I have to agree with above posters in reference to AP. I have respected him throughout his career. I will never forget his run where 2 guys tried to tackle him near the sideline and he ran one over (literally!) and grabbed and threw the other guy out of bounce on his way to a TD. Fucking epic!

    Loved BS that way too, man he was good. Walter Payton is my favorite non Packer of all time, at least he got to play for a team that had a few good years (and a SB).

    I really dont understand AP. Why stay there? Barry retired because there wasnt much he could do. Players back then didnt have much power when it came to Free Agency. Now if they want to leave, they can leave. Maybe some day he will write a book and tell us what the fuck he was thinking.

    Till then we will continue to laugh at the stupidity and ineptness that is the Minnesota Vikings. The Raiders are very proud….

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