CBS Taking Over Thursday Night; Saturday Football Returns

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CBS's Jim Nantz and Phil Simms

CBS's Jim Nantz and Phil Simms

Good news and bad news from the NFL today, folks. First, the bad — CBS is going to broadcast eight Thursday night games during the first half of the season.

They’ll take over for the NFL Network, which will still simulcast those games before picking up eight games exclusively in the second half of the season.

What’s so bad about this? Two words.

Phil Simms.

Worst. Commentator. Ever.

Listening to the guy talk makes me want to jam knives into my ears. And then there’s the completely idiotic and pointless drivel that comes out of his mouth.

Look, I know most of you hate Troy Aikman when it comes to commentary, but trust me. Simms is hands-down the worst. My only real beef with Aikman is he doesn’t know where to put the emphasis when he utters the words “Green Bay.”

It doesn’t go on the B, Troy.

So, let’s get to the good news. NFL football on Saturday is returning.

There’s that dead spot in December when college football’s regular season is over and the bowls haven’t begun. Well, the NFL is going to fill it like they used to.

So, your weekends are now fully booked from September 2014 to January 2015.

About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

29 Comments on "CBS Taking Over Thursday Night; Saturday Football Returns"

  1. Iltarion

    Troy Aikman is the best color commentator in the biz today. He and Joe Buck had fantastic games at Chicago to end the season and then in Green Bay for the playoffs. They have their weaker games, but not those two.

    Jon Gruden, Joe Theismann, Dan Dierdorff, Jaws, and Mike Mayock are easily among the worst color guys of all time.

    Typically, ex-QBs are terrible announcers because they spend the whole game making excuses for the QB. Aikman is the exception to that, as he never hesitates to criticize, and Phil Simms is merely middle-of-the-road.

    Glad to hear Saturday football is back. I appreciate it.

    Also glad that Thursday games are going to CBS. That means less Mike Mayoock, thank God.

  2. Phatgzus

    I’d take Mayock, Gruden, and Cornyheiser all day over Aikman, Buck, Sims, Collinsworth, and Dierdorf. Wish Billick would get more games…

  3. Phatgzus

    It’s a sad testament to the priorities of the NFL when easily the most popular and lucrative sports business on the continent can’t produce but 1 team (for some it’s Uncle Buck amd Acheman, for others it’s Tirico and Gruden, and yet others like the soulless living corpse of Al Michaels and Chris Collinsworth) of commentator’s that people like. SMH.

    • E. Wolf

      I really wish they had minimal announcing, reducing to simply result of the play and down and distance, and major events like scores injuries and turnovers.

      • Phatgzus

        I think I could be down with that; at the least get rid of the color commentary regarding formations and rules and have them talk about the players’ stories, team histories, etc. Not to sound like a know-it-all dick (though I probably will) but I have a better grasp on the rules than most of the analysts (which is sad considering most played or coached the game) and a pretty good handle on formational advantages and purposes. Also, get rid of the annoying and facile sideline reports unless they’re injury updates-I get it, hot women help sell the product to a majorly male (esp. young) fan base, but they don’t contribute anything of substance and there’s already cheerleaders. They can keep the end-game interviews if they want to keep more attractive women employed for all I care, ’cause I’ve changed the channel by that time.

        Ain’t gonna happen, not with the zeitgeist of the modern NFL fan base, but one can dream.

        • Lynn Fuckin' Dickey

          C’mon, though, a lot of people who never played or otherwise are not football nerds learn a lot through the color commentary. My little sister and even my dear ma have learned a ton of terminology and minutia because of the semi-incoherent ramblings of Aikman and Gruden.

          • Phatgzus

            Fair enough, I mean where would we be as a race if it weren’t for the semi-incoherent ramblings of lunatic egotists and delusional hamburger-brains?

    • Phatgzus

      Yeah, I hate his “Football Night in America” role for sure; he’s aight for the Olympics I suppose, then again I hardly watch them.

  4. TyKo Steamboat

    Fuck Phil Simms. Hes the new worst now that Dierdorf is gone…

    & he is CBS’s lead color commentator too…how does that happen?

  5. Phatgzus

    Alright so the A-Teams are:

    CBS: Sims-garbage Nantz-tolerable
    Formerly Dierdorf-garbage Gumble-tolerable

    NBC: Michaels-decent/shadow of former self Colinsworth-die you smarmy jackass die/occasionally insightful

    Mayock-decent/Spider Y2 Banana Just some guy

    Fox: Aikman-like listening to a homeless guy talk about economics Buck-just the worst: in all the worlds, in all the solar systems, in all the galaxies, in all the globular clusters, in all the universes.

    ESPN: Chuckie-entertaining (see singing Quinn the Eskimo)/occasionally a sneering pompous doucheroni
    Tirico-awesome (No regard for human life, yadda yadda yadda).

  6. GBslacker

    So many analysts think they have to explain everything!

    Simms, Darryl Johnson, and others — these guys just fucking talk constantly.

    It’s the age of the internets, people!

    We can follow the team 24/7; we “get” football.

    We don’t need some loudmouth know-it-all trying to pack the entire internet into the 35 seconds between each play.

    We just don’t need that.

    That 35 seconds should be reserved for flashing the network logo and showing re-plays from two or three different angles. And maybe showing the network logo one more time…

    And as far as sideline reporters… the coaches have nothing to say, just flat-out sound-bite bullshit. And the players are mostly idiots and should never be allowed to speak in front of millions of people. This valuable time could be spent showing the network logo!

      • Phatgzus

        *Damn straight! They should be pimp slapping our brains with the hard sell and reminding us that “Any retransmissions or accounts of the game without the express written consent of the NFL is prohibited” as often as possible.

    • Phatgzus

      Yeah, they were great-Enberg is a G. I was always partial to Madden and Summerall and Madden and Michaels.

  7. Aikman always says “GREEN Bay”, as opposed to the correct “Green BAY”. The article referencing the emphasis in wrong.

    Troy always saying it wrong seems intentional at this point. And that does piss me off.

  8. TheRealJC

    This poll is ridiculous. That mush-mouthed fool Mike Mayock is hands down the worst NFL commentator. Adding on to his debilitating lisp is that he thinks he is gods gift to NFL knowledge. Go back to ur hole Mayock! I mean, seriously, how does a guy that cannot even pronounciate the English language audibly get a job like that?? I am loving Thursday nights again with him gone from my TV :-)

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