Here Are Vikings Fans with a Jay Cutler Doll and Stripper Poll

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Minnesota Vikings fans with fake Jay Cutler

Minnesota Vikings fans with fake Jay Cutler

The Minnesota Vikings beat the Chicago Bears on Sunday, which pretty much puts the Bears’ season in the same place as the Green Bay Packers.

The dumpster.

Meanwhile, in the parking lot at the Metrodome — where, consequently, most children born in Minneapolis are conceived — Vikings fans were being Vikings fans.

One, or some — because we know it takes a village to figure anything out over there — Vikings fans made themselves a life-sized Jay Cutler doll.

And it actually looks a lot like Jay Cutler. Limp, lifeless and with no facial expression.

Of course, this was a totally idiotic thing to do because Jay Cutler wasn’t playing in the game. He’s injured. Has been for a while. But these are Vikings fans and they probably don’t have televisions and probably can’t read, so they just don’t know.

What do they have?

Stripper poles!

So while they were making their pregame pot of Hormel Chili, these Vikings fans put up their stripper pole. And then they put doll Jay Cutler on top of it… because nothing says sexy like doll Jay Cutler. Actually, nothing in Minnesota says sexy, so you gotta make due.

Cutty! it is!

Minnesota Vikings fans with fake Jay Cutler


About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

56 Comments on "Here Are Vikings Fans with a Jay Cutler Doll and Stripper Poll"

  1. Ivomitonvikingfans

    Fucking Canadians. “Shit. Someone get a couple of two-fours and get this hoser doll up the pole!! I am pretty sure I can bang these two bunnies from Oil Town! Shit! Wouldn’t take but a couple mickeys eh? Shit! they’ll be giv’nr’ to that Cutler hoser like a couple a fuckin’ spinnies eh? Eh! Tell them fuckin Illinois gorbys that we Viking fans rule eh!”

  2. E. Wolf

    Was there not some female Bears fan who tried spinning on some makeshit stripper pole that was top-heavy and fell? Or was that a Vikings fan?

  3. warshire

    Are you guys really in a position to be smack talking. You are one game ahead and face a must win against atlanta just to have a slim shot at the playoffs

    • PF4L

      Well, I don’t think were in any danger of going to the playoffs.

      Now, the last time I looked. The Packers have 4 Super Bowl Wins. The Lions, Bears, Viikings combined have 1. So yea, I think were in a position to smack talk.

    • E. Wolf

      Unlike you guys, our future remains bright for the next five to eight years. We are fielding largely second and third stringers, and even practice squad guys at this point.
      And besides, this spectacle is universally ridiculous: Vikings fans, with a 3-9-1 team with their original starting lineup in tact, exhibiting a pathetic celebration that does not even get basic facts right.
      Even Browns fans can laugh at that.

        • Phatgzus

          Matt Flynn, Scott Tolzien, Chris Banjo, Palmer, Barrington, Richardson, Worthy, Wilson, Boykin, Hyde, Bostick, R. Taylor, L. Taylor, Franklin, Sherrod, and McMillain are all players who were or are third-stringers or lower who have seen playing time not including special teams.

          • E. Wolf

            Don’t forget Newhouse filling in for Barclay (who is a second stringer), and TJ Lang playing center when EDS went down. Love Lang as a guard but…..
            There are doubtless other examples. All one has to do is pull up a list of everyone who has been injured this year. It’s unreal.
            Also your list, which is pretty jaw-dropping, does not include 2nd stringers.

  4. PF4L

    That’s about what I thought. I guess it’s easy to just make blanket injury statements for excuses. Dude, you need to thicken up your skin a bit. I have a 8 year old niece who has thicker skin. Cheer up Mr. Angry.

  5. PF4L

    Remember Wolf, this is just a satire Packer forum, it isn’t life and death. Don’t let it ruin your day.

    Also remember something I was taught long ago. He who angers you, controls you. Being so angry is a weakness.

  6. PF4L

    But I’m still curious who these 3rd stringers are that you speak of. if you would happen to regain control of your emotions, I’d be happy to read your response.

  7. Phatgzus

    I forgot Myles White as well-if you’re counting, that’s 17 third-stringers who have seen at least 1 game of action (most have more than that).

    • E. Wolf

      All this clown would have to do is go on profootball reference or any standard reference listing all the injuries.

  8. PF4L

    Josh Byod is 2nd string behind Ryan Pickett.
    Lane Taylor is 2nd string behind JT Lang and played about 4 minutes this season.
    McMillian is 2nd string behind Burnett, hence why McMillian was starting for Burnett.
    Banjo is 2nd string behind MD Jennings.
    Ryan Taylor is 2nd string behind Quarless.
    Barrington is on IR and he’s played about 5 minutes this season.
    Jerel Worthy is a 3rd stringer? Teds #2 pick? He’s also played about 5 minutes this season.
    Sean Richardson has played about 10 minutes. Both Richardson and Worthy were just activated Nov 23rd.
    You want to count Franklin?…Really? Basically played one game last September, rushed for over 100 yards.
    Sherrod, Really? Played for the last minute and a 1/2 of the 4th quarter in a 40-10 blow out. C”MON MAN!! Teds 1st round pick is 3rd string, that barely played? Count it if you want dude…lol

    Now you can call Tolzien and (just signed) Flynn 3rd stringers, depending on how much you want to distort the truth. Rock on. But then again, that’s like calling Wallace a #2 QB.

    So in essence, most of your 3rd stringers, are #2’s. With the real 3’s, barely…I mean barely, seeing playing time.

    • E. Wolf

      Even if I accept your analysis (I don’t), I did write 2nd and 3rd stringers. Your other argument is particularly specious because it dodges the issue of injuries.
      Have fun responding to your own posts.

    • Phatgzus

      If you want to debate what merits the qualification of 3rd-stringer, I would happily engage; however, I think we all know how that will proceed. Thus, you can have Mc, Banjo, and L. Taylor.
      I never mentioned Boyd.

      R. Taylor is 3rd-string behind Quarless who is 2nd-string behind Finley; 2 WR, 1 QB 1 HB, 1 FB, 5 OL, and 1 TE.
      James Starks is actually the 3rd-string HB, so Franklin is 4th-string, and Cincy must be included-you just can’t ignore
      a data point-plus he’s played multiple snaps in more than
      just the one game, not much but still counts. Same goes for
      Richardson, Barrington Sherrod, and Worthy. Hyde, Whyte, Bostick, Palmer, Starks, Flynn, and Tolzien have all logged significant playing time; and yes i would call Tolzien a 3rd-stringer, in fact I’d call him the archetype of a 3rd-stringer. You’re right on Flynn, though, I’ll that, hes actually a 4th-stringer.
      I also forgot James Nixon. I’ll give ya Boykin as well.

      17-4+1=14 3rd-stringers who have played.

      52-44=8 “3rd-stringers”.
      11+11=22 “2nd-stringers”
      14-8=6 “3rd-stringers” not on the team at the seasons inception.

      8+22+6-1 (Newhouse)=35 players that have missed playing time due to injury. But wait, there’s more! Bulaga and DuJuan. So at least 37 players have missed time due to injury.

      Sherrod is a few weeks off the PUP after having missed 2 years with a broken fibula and tibia as well as complications from the surgery-dem bones are pretty important, especially true when you’re so damn massive. Ya should give him some (more) time, he’s a normal human being not Steve Austin.

      Worthy, as you mentioned, is just returning from a torn ACL, obviously a major injury. He will find it difficult to make the “1st-string” but he’ll be “2nd-string” if Raji, and/or Pickett, and/or Jolly leave.


      • Phatgzus

        Wow, shitty math: 22+6+2-1=29 players who have missed time due to injury, including but (clearly) not limited to the best player in the game.

        • PF4L

          What are you smoking? What is your definition of significant playing time?

          You think Sherrod has had significant playing time? Really? He played a minute and a 1/2. And a couple field goal and extra point attempts. If that’s how you define significant. This conversation is useless on that merit.

          Richardson and Worthy had significant playing time? Roll another blunt.

          • Phatgzus

            You may want to cease the smoking, it appears to be affecting your reading comprehension. There is a period between the group I consider to have significant playing time. The sentence regarding Worthy, Sherrod, Barrington, and Richardson referenced tge final thought of the previous, which is to say (and I can’t be any clearer): those 4 have not played much (similar to Franklin outside of Cincy) but in terms of the primary focus of this discussion (“3rd-stringers” playing in games on O and D), the fact they played even a single snap technically counts.

            As for a definition of significant, unless we are performing a rigorous statistical analysis, that would be arbitrary. Amount of plays, time, player contribution, and even the magnitude of the situation in which they played are almost certainly all factors.
            Perhaps one quarter would be a legitimate qualifier for time,
            maybe more than 2 drives, or series, or even plays would qualify in the plays arena. Perhaps 1 critical play (INT, FF, FR, PD, sack, TFL, etc.) would qualify them; maybe playing in just the last drive of a one score game would qualify. These are by no means my requirements, just examples meant to indicate the complexity implied by your question.

            What say you about the other 14 “3rd-stringers” I mentioned?

          • Phatgzus

            Addendum: if we were to perform a rigorous statistical analysis we would have to create coefficients and specific equations for each constants so as valuate all factors relative to one another, we would need a “mother” equation that’s purpose would be to incorporate each of these equations to produce a single absolute value of significance. That’s complicated shit that’s currently beyond my ken, I dunno about you, you’re not Bill James perchance, are you?

          • PF4L

            You deem playing 1 quarter, as having significant playing time?..Really?. So its fair to say if you split the time between off. and def, you are then talking about playing about 7 1/2 minutes…That’s significant huh?. Lets say they played 15 minutes, you call that significant? Its your world brother, paint the sky any color you’d like.

          • Phatgzus

            “These are by no means my requirements, just examples meant to indicate the complexity implied by your question.”

            Can’t be any clearer.

            You wanted to know which 3rd-stringers has played, not the ones that played “significant” minutes, I was merely doing you the service of acknowledging your other points and responding to them. The simple fact is the Packers have at least 14 current or former (as of this year) “3rd-stringers” who have played, just stepped on the field for at least 1 offensive or defensive play, period.

  9. PF4L

    Now here’s the rub….32 teams in the NFL play 2nd and 3rd stringers. Are the Packers somehow disadvantaged (handicapped) because they play them?

    • PF4L

      I think you boys would be better served reading Mike Vandermause article titled “Forget ‘next man up’; no Rodgers, no chance”. Enlighten yourselves. It’s a great read.

      • Phatgzus

        Not exactly enlightening, obvious and selective perhaps.

        Without a doubt Rodgers has a serious impact on this team-both offensively and defensively-but he’s not the only one out there, as Mike indicated; in that vein, how do you account for the defense’s ranking increase between ’11 and ’12, even though Rodgers’ statistical prodigiousness actually decreased during that period?

  10. PF4L

    I don’t believe I said Rodgers was the only one out there, or that Rodgers is the only player that has an effect on the team. He is, the one player who has the biggest effect concerning wins and losses, as Mike indicated.

    The difference in Rodgers 11 and 12 seasons aren’t all that different,6 td passes and 2 interceptions and 348 yards separate them.

    Which arguably could be contributed to Jennings being out 8 games, and Jordy being out 4.

    • Phatgzus

      I didn’t say you did, however, that is one of the main tenets of the article you espoused-if you are going to advocate a piece of literature (not journalism) then you must also be willing to accept the fact that others will believe you hold with all the positions the article presents unless you state otherwise.

      • PF4L

        lmao…OK, let me see if I have this right.

        Because I recommended an article. I read it one time. You want me to justify every word and/or meaning of that entire article and how you critique it’s meaning, whether you assume, or imagine particular meanings?

        If it’s that important to you, You can e-mail Mike Vandermause and debate the merits of “his” article. If you so choose

        You had more integrity when you were whining about injurys. I mentioned an article because as I said, it was a great read. Nothing more, nothing less. But you come at me, demanding i justify everything that article states, or how you perceive it.

        If E Wolf writes a article for Monty…And I mentioned it was a great read. Am I then up for trial as to the content and perceived meanings of that entire article someone else authored?

        Are you serious with this shit? lol

        • Phatgzus

          1) I’m not indicting you.

          2) If you recommend an article, but don’t agree with all points included, and, here’s the kicker, you don’t wish to be thought an advocate of all points enumerated, then you bear the onus of responsibility to clearly indicate your contraposition.

          • PF4L

            1) Yes you are

            2) I guess i’ll have to do that, otherwise some obsessed internet forum junkie will put me on trial for someone else’s writings…..GOTCHA!!

  11. PF4L

    Great research my man.

    You have proven, without a doubt. The Green Bay Packers have injured players.

    Which I believe, the other 31 teams go through as well.

    You can whine about injurys till the cows come home. But at the end of the day, all it is, is whining about injuries. It serves no purpose other than whining about it.

    I’m not oblivious enough not to know 31 teams have to get through injurys, and also play 2nd and 3rd stringers.

    No Rodgers, no chance.

    • Phatgzus

      “No Rodgers, no chance.”

      “I don’t believe I said Rodgers was the only one out there, or that Rodgers is the only player that has an effect on this team.”

      You essentially just did, only you didn’t specify the type of effect, surreptitious.

      You’re also using Vandermause’s title as your Packers
      mantra; 1) that’s highly indicative and 2) baaaaahhhhh.

      No, not great research, easily-acquired and derivative.
      Darwin’s seminal study of the Galapagos Finches is great research.

  12. E. Wolf

    You can whine about injurys till the cows come home. But at the end of the day, all it is, is whining about injuries. It serves no purpose other than whining about it.
    I’m not oblivious enough not to know 31 teams have to get through injurys, and also play 2nd and 3rd stringers.
    No Rodgers, no chance.

    It does not get any more specious than this folks. The Packers have not just suffered injuries along with other teams. They have suffered injuries on an entirely different order. Indeed, they have lead the league in injuries the past three of four seasons (2010, 2011 and 2013). And at core positions. And no I will not list them–that information is readily available on any online sports almanac or sports reference.
    Please, for the love of god, shut the fuck up. Or take an economy size jug of liquid draino and gulp it down. Chug a lug.

    • Phatgzus

      Getting mad is only gonna feed it, take a breath, yo, have some fun while dealing with it-I recommend “20-dollar words”, that gets it all riled up.

      • E. Wolf

        Which proves he is either 1) a troll 2) a Bears of Vikings fan, or 3) both.
        Thanks for your posts btw–they are an indelible refutation of the obviously wrongheaded nonsense. Really should not have to be done, but if they don’t he somehow thinks he won.
        People often accuse of me of resorting to a thesaurus. I rarely do. I simply have a classical education, as do you.

        • Phatgzus

          It’s already thought it’s won, regardless; to think you’ve some way won in life by “winning” a debate on a football blogeans you’ve already lost.

          Personally, I’m just doing this because I find it highly entertaining, a great stress reliever, as well as a solid critical thinking and restraint exercise.

          • Phatgzus

            Sure sure, just gotta choose the debates that we care about so we don’t flood the blog so others don’t want to participate like the fast few articles-definitely part of t
            It’s trolling technique.

    • PF4L

      Still angry i see.

      You can keep continuously, and daily, whining about injurys, apparently it’s what you excel at. If it makes you feel better, have at it.

  13. PF4L

    I’d like to thank both participants for their dialogue.

    In another side note, I’d like to pay homage to phatgzus. The broad vocabulary should be both acknowledged, and commended. if I may…Here is a small sampling of the benefits of higher learning.

    1)surreptitious. 2)enumerated 3)contraposition.
    4)espoused 5)prodigiousness

    COLOR ME IMPRESSED!! And on a football forum no less.

    Although Uncle Wolfie didn’t convey any words I had to look up. His skills should not be discounted or diminished. if you need someone to focus and shine the light on a teams injurys on a daily weekly,monthly basis in here, all the while, trying to keep the attention and accountability off of God-like Ted Thompson himself. Then he is your man.

    So what did we learn here today, 5 things of note.

    1) Recommend an article, Go on trial for it’s entire content.

    2) If you want to debate with phatgzus, You best have a dictionary handy..Because verbally, he is gonna BRING IT!!

    3) The Green Bay Packers have injurys and play 2nd and 3rd string players (In case you missed the last 5 weeks of postings.)

    4) No Rodgers, no chance.


    • E. Wolf

      It is rather remarkable that we live in a day and age where having a classical education is somehow a basis to insult or taunt or someone, and not having a classical education is somehow something to brag about. Phatzgus has not really delved into truly exotic vocabulary. And yet PFAIL seems to struggle. Perhaps he should resort to hooked on phonics. Unfortunately that won’t do much for his unsavory “personality.”

  14. PF4L

    It is rather remarkable(blah blah blah) that we live in a day and age (blah blah blah) where having a classical education (blah blah blah)

    You make me giggle. :)

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